We often hear stories of people, particularly women who get very infatuated with men they know barely know. They daydream about them, about the dates they’ll have, fairly tale romance and even an outrageous fairly tale wedding. And when the time comes to meet them in person, they get shocked and disillusioned after realizing that the man isn’t like anything they imagined. It’s okay and sometimes fun to imagine a beautiful romantic relationship as long as it doesn’t overwhelm or consume you that make you dismiss other potential suitors who are interested in you.
I think it’s important to move ahead and not dwell on the past for too long, in case your expectations of the guy you dreamed of aren’t met. All we can tell them that to accept the fact that the whole fairy tale relationship was only an illusion. It is hurtful, but the best thing to do now is to get over it and learn from the experience.
So, what can we do in the future to have a more realistic expectation from our potential partners? If you like someone, ask them out for a date. It doesn't have to be something very planned and details, just go out for a coffee. Don’t expect your dates to be perfect and spectacular until you get to know them well and who are really inside and out. Ensure that you’re valuable and deserve all the great things; life has to offer, including a real romantic relationship and emotional connection.
Remember, he’s just a guy. There are a plenty of guys out there like him. And here’s the fun part, you can have a loving, healthy relationship with one of them, and it will be much more fulfilling and exciting. Expect that your man will be ‘Mr. Perfect’, but also keep in mind that he’s just human. People aren’t perfect. We all have flaws. So, don’t get surprised that your date will have some flaws. Decide which flaws can you live with and which ones you can’t. Look for someone who has interests and values that complement your personal interests, values, and opinions.
It’s a bad idea to put all of your eggs in one basket. Even though some people don’t like, date several men at the same time and take your time to get to know them. Don’t get involved with them in any seriously way soon. Relax and stay at the moment. Dating multiple men at the same time will help you meet you like quickly and then dating one person for some time and later finding out that he isn’t right for you.
Overall, it’s important to self-reflect and ask yourself why you’ve spent so much of your time and energy living in a dream romance, instead of meeting someone real and go on actual dates. Ask yourself do you feel insecure about real-life relationships? Are you afraid that you’ll get rejected if someone sees the real you? When you truly understand yourself, know who you really are, what are your needs, and accept who and where we are, it helps us to unveil a new chapter in our lives. So, make yourself available, be proactive, be confident, meet someone real and be in a real relationship.