Going through a breakup can be compared to experiencing a death. Even though the pain is emotional, it’s no less than physical passing. When we break up with someone, we grief over the future we have envisioned with our exes and how will be spending out time with that person. So, after we break up, we always keep thinking about our exes, refuse to move on and this affects our physical, mental, social and professional lives.
Our natural tendency is to keep our pain in control and not entirely close ties with our former partners. It’s not impossible. It can be done. But the payoffs are minuscule given that it takes a lot of exertion on your side.
The honest truth is we can never fully get over our exes until we find someone new. Unless our minds accept the fact that, in life things always don’t work according to plan, and we have been flexible enough to keep rolling to all challenges life throws at us. We have to open our hearts and tell ourselves that it okay accepts someone new and start a relationship. Don’t allow your mind to convince that until you have forgotten about your ex; you won’t date anyone new. In that case, take some time for yourself to be upset, grief and some time to process, and then start rolling ahead with your new life.
Holding on to your ex will make it harder for your move on with your life. They will always fill up your mind when you’re feeling lonely or depressed or longing for some emotional support. They will tell you to compare them with your new suitor, who is sitting in the room. Because they’re on your Facebook page forcing you to stalk them, overly react and tear yourself apart looking to their new posts and pictures, where they seem to be happy without you.
So, what’s the remedy to get rid of this terrible aching? Simple answer: moving on. Disengage from your ex. Focus on self-improvement. When you're ready to venture into the new world of dating, be patient and be kind to yourself. No one likes to start things all over again. In fact, we get so afraid and uncomfortable with the whole idea that we rather are in bad relationships and breaking up, just so that we can avoid this or be friends with our exes for comfort and emotional support.
Consequently, when you feel an emptiness in your heart, looking for distractions to fill the hole is a sinister way of preventing you from moving forward and keep spinning in circles. With short-term fixes, we subsequently, prevent ourselves from realizing that we can’t truly get what want if don’t forget what we had in the past or things that didn’t work. As you take those new steps back into the dating scene, be mindful, don’t dwell in the past, and be in the present. If you happen to meet someone new, don’t rob him or her of the opportunity to show you what type of love and passion they can give you.
Loneliness isn’t easy, but it does give you the chance to find what you’re trying to find down on the road. When you embrace the bravery of loneliness, you can thrive in the opportunity for wholeness and find someone new.