You're most likely reading this as you've come across Bob Grant's guide for helping get your partner back – hopefully this How Do I Get Him Back review will help shed some light on the quality of your product.
If you don't have time to read the whole article, my overall impression is that it isn't really worth it. You won't find anything here that don't already consider common sense.
If you want a guide that will really truly help, I highly recommend: The Magic Of Making Up
Review of How Do I Get Him Back Guide:
Bob Grant, described often as the Relationship Doctor, has developed a training and relationship guide specifically designed to reach women who have recently lost their partner, whether boyfriend or husband, due to a break-up or divorce.
His book, How Do I Get Him Back, was created in response to the numerous women reaching out to him in an effort to regain control of their lost relationships and desired to have a greater level of understanding as to how the male mind works, the specific aspects of a relationship that can be controlled from the woman’s standpoint, and what to do in the event that the woman wants her partner back after a break-up.
Grant’s book is focused on a step by step process to help women attract and retain her ex quickly and for the long-term. The author explains that most women truly want to bring the relationship back into existence, no matter the reason of the break-up or the length of the initial relationship, but have no clear idea of what to do or the time-frame for doing so.
How Do I Get Him Back is clearly focused on the woman in the broken relationship, as Grant explains how women tend to overreact in tense situations, such as a break-up.
He also explains that because woman are naturally emotional creatures, there is a tendency to let those emotions take over all perception, enticing them to make poor decisions, communicate in an ineffective manner, and destroy what could be a rekindled relationship otherwise.
Without the utilization of emotional prompts, Grant explains that it is easy to rebuild a broken relationship, from the woman’s side of things, by creating an environment where the man who broke off the relationship has no other option but to reach out and bridge the relationship gap.
Grant states that if the detailed guidelines listed in the book are followed closely, there is no way that the man will not want to reach out to the woman in an effort to start the relationship again.
Grant’s training guide, How Do I Get Him Back, makes a number of guided suggestions on how to rekindle a relationship that went sour, under the assumption that the male partner disappeared with little to no notice and the woman is desperate to understand why that was the case.
In the first part of his book, Grant provides the following advice on the misconception a number of women believe wholeheartedly that a message of closure must be sent shortly after the break-up. Grant relays the importance of not coming across in a desperate and needy way, and explains how a closure message, either in letter, text, or e-mail format, comes across to a man, based on his personal experience in working with broken relationships.
One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make, Grant states, is sending that closure plea, practically begging her previous partner to return to the relationship and offering a better situation with less dramatic interactions or promising things will be different the next time around. The author explains in his book how this is perceived by the man after a break-up – as needy and desperate to a fault.
Grant passes along suggestions on how to go about regaining the passion and love in a relationship without sounding desperate or nagging.
The training guide is centered on a number of tasks that the woman needs to stop doing, including the following:
- Do not behave like a desperate child: Grant explains that one of the most common mistakes a woman can make after a break-up surrounds this plight. Obviously if a relationship was in existence, there was a certain level of love and compassion from both parties involved, and losing this type of bond with another person can be detrimental to a woman’s psyche. Because of this, emotional chaos can ensue after a break-up, causing, Grant states, a number of negative actions from the woman directed toward the man. Acting like a desperate and needy child should be avoided according to Grant’s relationship guide, and focusing on being smart about communications and the intention of those communications is incredibly important.
- Do not call him constantly: Grant focuses on the stress that comes along with a break-up, specifically for woman, and how this translates to damaging moves on her part. Calling the ex constantly, whether it is simply to say hello or to hear his voice to break some of the longing or loneliness, is not recommended. Grant explains that this creates a situation where the man views the woman as co-dependent and unstable. Avoiding the constant calling allows the man to process his own emotional issues that may have come up with the break-up, and feel the need to reach out to the woman he was previously in a relationship with. A sense of longing is created from the man’s perspective, and Grant implies that he must be the one to reach out, if that is going to happen at all.
- Remain calm as much as possible: Grant explains that after a break-up, especially when the relationship was long-term, a great level of psychological turmoil can surface for the woman if she is in a constant state of panic or fear of being alone. If there is a true desire to rekindle the relationship, the woman should attempt to be patient with every aspect, from communication to controlling emotions when/if her ex does reach out to her.
- Promises are not necessary: Within the relationship guide, Grant discusses at length the importance of not remitting the closure letter as mentioned above, promising that the relationship will be different moving forward. If that is not the case, which most times, it is not, it is a waste of energy for both parties.
- Stop apologizing: Whether the break-up flings fault at one party or the other, Grant explains that apologizing constantly does not make the situation better. It can come across as disingenuous, as well as needy from the woman. Men will not respond, so says Grant, to “I’m sorry” all the time.
- Do not show up where he works/lives/socializes unannounced or uninvited: As a fairly common sense move, the woman should not start appearing wherever her ex partner is. As one would assume, this comes across as terribly needy and desperate, and will certainly not aid in the process of getting back together whatsoever.
Although some of the information relayed within the relationship guide may be helpful to some, the book by Grant is certainly has a clear message to women: You should want to get your man back.
There is little explanation initially as to why the break-up occurred, but the book jumps directly into how to rekindle the relationship, despite what may have happened.
Additionally, Grant focuses on what the woman should not do after or during a break-up as well as the psychological problems women inherently must deal with after the loss of a partner, without talking at length about what could be done to work through the stress that comes hand in hand with a break-up for even the most emotionally sound individual.
The tips he lists in the book are focused on the negative actions of women after a break-up, and not the communication or actions from the man, immediately putting focus, and a large level of blame, on the woman.
Also, Grant explains that the purpose of his book is to reduce the stress that women can experience after a break-up, and there is some merit to the guidelines he state within his book. However, his work may be more advantageous to those seeking out a list of not-to-do’s, as opposed to sound advice on how to manage and work through post break-up anxiety and stress.
There is a heavy focus on how emotionally damaged a woman can become after a break-up from a boyfriend or husband, and how that emotional baggage can cause her to do seemingly ridiculous things in an effort to rekindle a relationship.
Grant also speaks to the perceived fact that women take much longer to recover after a break-up than men, therefore the focus of his relationship guide. It is hard to see where the logic comes from in this notion, but the relationship guide is focused solely on that information.
All in all, Grant’s book is geared toward the woman reader longing to revive an old flame in which a break-up occurred recently and without notice.
Grant has been in the relationship coaching business for almost two decades, working with couples both together and separated to strengthen their communication and ultimate bond while they are together, but his book How Do I Get Him Back is less than helpful overall. Most of the suggestions are more common sense listings as opposed to in-depth, eye-opening recommendations as I would have expected from this piece.
If you need a reminder for how to not act after a break-up, this book is for you. If you truly want to rebuild a broken relationship with a person you love, I would pass on this relationship guide.
If you do still want to buy the guide get the best price here…
Otherwise I highly, highly recommend the Magic Of Making Up which you can find here…