When you’re dating for a while, you probably wondered what’s taking your man taking so long to propose. Is he just patient or is he just playing you along? How long should you or they wait for it? You probably are thinking that maybe your partner isn’t proposing to you because his expectations from this relationship have changed. You’re constantly thinking how long you should wait before he pops the question to you and you’re unsure when will you bring up the topic for discussion with your partner. Your thoughts are filled with frustration and anxiety about the future of your relationship.
Well, to make things easier, ask yourself these four questions before you bring up the conversation to get engaged:
1. Are you ready to accept the relationship as it is, or give up thinking about marriage? Most women like to get married because it’s validated by society and you need to get married to have kids. But, you don’t need to get engaged to be happy and have children. Many couples are now living together as an alternative to tying the knot. Whether you can have a long-lasting marriage or not before living together, the research results are mixed.
2. Are you ready and strong enough to demand from your partner what you wish for? Are you willing to leave the relationship and accept the consequences once your partner failed to honor your ultimatum? If you issued a deadline to your partner regarding the engagement, it would rarely motivate him to do so. And if you keep pressuring him for marriage, it will keep him away from proposing in the first place. Couples, who had conflicts before getting engaged, will have problems in their relationships after getting married. So, if you think that some of these issues need to be addressed, resolve them before getting engaged.
3. Are there any issues in your relationship that is holding your partner to have the discussion with you? Do you think these matters need to addressed, accepted or rejected? Are there any problems with the timing? If your spouse or both of you, are in college or just graduated and looking for a stable job, or not financially stable, it’s okay for you both not to think about getting engaged or married. But, it’s not acceptable for someone who is in his 30s, with a stable job and in a relationship for a few years.
4. Lastly, can you wait? It might be that your partner has a plan of his own and saving up. As you know by now, getting engaged in one of the biggest life decisions one can make and no one should rush it. Sometimes the eagerness to get engaged is so intense among women that they would do and dismiss things that don't relate with their rationale or consciousness. Having a conversation on this subject might bring up problems in your relationship that you always hoped to avoid.
If you’re in a relationship or dating someone for a while, it’s natural for you to get engaged and eventually get married with your significant other. But, before you take the initial steps to get married, you should ask yourself these questions and find the right answers. If you do this, the bringing up this topic and discussing it with your partner won’t be a problem.