Infidelity Isn’t the Problem – It’s the Outcome of the Problem

Most people have a strong belief that if someone truly loves and cares for their partner, he or she will not cheat on them. These people also think cheating should be the ultimate reason to end a relationship or marriage. There shouldn’t be any second chances or forgiveness when it comes to infidelity, despite what a lot of relationship counselors or therapists say. For most couples, cheating is the ultimate way to break the promise of being monogamous to each other. With that said, many people keep asking the age-old question, “Why do men cheat?” “Why do women cheat?” Answering these two questions isn’t easy.

Cheating doesn’t come naturally. Most people don’t plan or decide to cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends/partners all of a sudden. Sure, we will admit that there are people who will cheat in all of their relationships and marriages. In this case, it’s not your problem. But, some events will compel a person to cheat on their spouses.

Before that, let’s make one thing clear: there is no excuse to cheat on your partner. There are many reasons why people commit infidelity. It might be that there has been a lot of miscommunication or distrust in the relationship for a long time. It may be that one partner has been frustrated or depressed about something, but hasn’t talked about it properly to the other partner. Or, perhaps, it might be they have already expressed the issue to them and there hasn’t been any effort to address it. Another reason why people cheat is because of a physical challenge or an ailment that is causing some sexual problems. People also cheat on their spouses if they are in long distance relationships or have been apart from one another for a long time. These are some of the main issues, and cheating is simply the outcome of it.

Let’s consider a normal relationship where the couple sees each other frequently and there aren’t extreme situations. What will happen if one of the partners cheats? Should they forgive each other and work on their relationship? Or should they end the relationship and move on? What would the correct advice be? Some people will say that the relationship is over. Some folks will tell the couple to work on their communication and other issues in the relationship. Some people will advocate giving the relationship a second chance. All of the following advice seems rational; who knows? The relationship might survive after all. But, before that, let’s tell you why people cheat. Cheating occurs when you start hiding things from your partner that you don’t want them to know about.

The fact is that if someone allows things to become so bad in their relationship that they act out with infidelity, then there are some issues that are more complicated than communication issues. No mature adult will think of cheating on his or her partner to get away from a problem or skip a discussion. He or she should have the integrity, courage, dignity, and respect for themselves and sit down with their partner and have a conversation about their frustrations in their relationship. If they can’t do that, then they should consider terminating the relationship.


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