People come from families that are extremely dysfunctional, some extremely functional and but most have families that fall in the middle. The point is there’s a big difference between families that are funny-crazy and the pathologically-crazy. We will be talking about families that are comedic or funny-crazy.
At this very moment, lots of men and women are looking for love, and most of them are fearful of being judged by their respective date’s pathological families. While dating, men and women who have pathological families always brace themselves as they anticipate they'll be asked awkward and uncomfortable questions of their families by their dates and their families. Most relationship therapists suggest men and women to date people who have healthy relationships with their families. But, what will you do if you don’t have a good relationship with your family? Is it that your family is dysfunctional or crazy?
If you happen to come from a family with a lot of issues whether they’re legal, professional or personal, there are some ground rules you need to abide.
You don’t have to answer to every question your date’s family asks you. Only respond to those you like to. If you get asked something that makes you uncomfortable, instead of being defensive or rude, try to diffuse the situation by a joke. You can say something like, “Well I will answer that question after the fifth or sixth date.”
If using humor to respond a question isn't your style, then keep your responses simple, precise, and confident. For instance, if your father is a drug addict and at the second date, you were asked what your parents do for a living. Instead, of saying that your dad is unemployed because of his drug abuse, tell them what your father did professionally before he turned to drugs. If your dad was a carpenter, say that your dad was a carpenter. That’s enough, your date and their families don’t need to more details about your family at the moment. What if your partner asks what kind of relationship you have with your father? If your dad has been a drug addict and incarcerated for it, then it’s very likely you don’t have a good relationship. Tell your date that in life there will be ups and downs, and this one is a down. If your date does like you, he or she won’t worry too much about the relationship you’ve with your family.
If you’re ready, to tell the truth, ask yourself if you’re anxious about your date’s reaction when he or she hears the details. If you’re nervous, then be prepared for it. Disclosing private details at the right time can actually increase the intimacy between the two of you. However, keep in mind don’t go overboard with it. If you think that you’re being judged by your date after he or she learns the details, try to convince them that even though your family is dysfunctional, you are a quality person. Try to tell it with high self-esteem and confidence.
Remember; always honor your family’s privacy. You don’t have to share every big or small detail about your family, their lives, their behaviors or problems to your date at the beginning of a relationship. After all, you don’t want anyone to feel sorry, judge or say something upsetting to you.