A lot has been said about women looking for “the one” or for the perfect partner, and so far many have failed. So, are they have been searching in all the wrong places? Most single women believe they know a lot when it comes to men and relationships. We talk about them; we hear a lot about them, we talk about men with our mothers, sisters, and our girlfriends. There are hundreds of books, magazines, articles on men.
After reading all those books, articles, women magazines and including our own personal experiences about men and past relationships, we aren’t satisfied. We attend seminars; buy even more books and magazines. And we keep on searching and looking for our “soulmates.” By the time, we reach in our 30s or late 30s, all we tell ourselves that men are only interested in one thing – sex. We reach a conclusion that most men are liars, cheaters, egoistic jerks, childish and annoying as hell when they get sick or can’t get what they want.
Nonetheless, we still don’t lose hope and keep on searching for “the one.” We spend a lot of our time, money and effort looking for the perfect man to have ever-lasting love and lasting relationship and marriage. We update our online dating profiles, attending parties and social events, hoping that if we keep on trying hard, we will eventually find ‘Mr. Perfect”, and we are happy and complete. And women aren’t alone here; men do it too. Men also have been nurturing stereotypes about women and their behaviors as long as women have been doing for men. Men think of women as gold diggers, greedy, bossy, spoiled, gossip-loving, bitchy, nagging and demanding. Despite all these, men are also looking for ladies who don’t have any of these irritating characteristics.
So, who is exactly “the one”? Many men and women seek a partner who will have a beautiful mind, responsible, dependable, wise, sensitive, warm, faithful, loyal, trustworthy, committed, supportive, and passionate about something in life. If we don’t find someone with all these we get frustrated, don’t stop and keep on searching and circles go on. If things don’t get better, we blame our luck, lives, our jobs, the world and so forth. But, one thing that never crosses our minds is that we could have well spent all that time, energy and money on becoming “the one,” rather than finding “the one.”
Instead of feeling incomplete and trying to feel the gaping hole of our souls, what don’t we try to fill all the gaps in developing the qualities within our own selves, rather than finding it in someone else? If we focused on ourselves and found freedom, self-acceptance, and empowerment within ourselves, we would have felt fulfilled and contentment even if we had a romantic partner or not. If we have developed the energy within ourselves, maybe we will find that our relationships and our partners won’t have such a strong influence on our identities.
After all, many experts agree that we need to focus on ourselves and develop the qualities within us. As a result, we can attract better partners so that we can be in loving and lasting relationships.