Having less sex now than before? If yes, you're not alone. When it comes to physical intimacy, every couple has their own optimal levels. This is similar to every person who’s emotional and physiological needs are unique. The same can be applied to relationships, as well. These days, sexless marriages are becoming more common, especially in long-term relationships.
So, why is that couples are having less sex than their parents? One main factor that can impact our sexual wellness is stress. Recent research found that in the last 5 to 10 years, men and women are experiencing high levels of personal and financial stress. When we feel anxious and stressed out, we lose our desires to have sex. Such financial troubles are more rampant than before. Recent financial and economic turmoil have led chronic unemployment, massive credit card debt, bankruptcy, and foreclosures. These unfortunate events have affected severely singles and couples in huge numbers.
Things can get worse when one of the partners blames or takes out their frustrations on the other person for his or her financial stress, rather than the external economic forces in society. These arguments build up negative emotions that might lead to more physical and emotional stress. And when you’re dealing with sex you avoid sex with your spouse.
Then there is that nowadays most couples have careers. This can make it increasingly hard for couples to relax and make time to be physically intimate with each other. If one of you is interested in some action and the other person isn’t, then it can result in anger, resentment, and frustration. Partners will feel less appreciated for their job and the contribution they’re giving in the relationship. If this keeps on continuing, then the accumulated undesired for sex and frustration may consequently pave the way for lack of interest and attraction for each other. If you’ve been toiling hard all day, and in some cases, all night, it is hard to be sexy and passionate lovers when you get home.
Another primary factor that can impact our sexual well-being is financial stress. Uncontrollable financial stress might force both partners to work more and being exhausted. Sex requires both mental and physical energy, and if you’re exhausted, you won’t have the energy or desire to engage in any passionate love talk, let alone sex. Physical exhaustion can also rob of our good night sleep, which will make you feel tired and less energetic to have sex or spend some quality time together. For guys, your physical exhaustion can lead sexual dysfunction that can affect your ability to perform sexually or satisfy your partner. The longer you go without sex, the lesser you want to have sex, which will build up the frustration even more.
In a healthy relationship, sex is vital and beneficial in some ways, both emotional and physical, though it’s not always necessary all the time. Physical intimacy enhances our sense of connection and relatedness with partners, and sex also releases endorphins that make us feel good. So, whatever the reasons are, talking with your significant about your sexual desires or needs are, and don’t hesitate to tell him or him whatever they might be. If it’s useful, just do it!