If you are looking for a relationship or already in one all of our lives, we have been told that to find true love we need to learn to love ourselves from the inside out. This kind of relationship is so powerful that sometimes it can affect the interactions you have with your lover or partner, your kids, your friends, your family and yourself. This amazing bond that you have with yourself and which has its roots in love can morph into guilt, anger, and resentment can ruin your whole life. When we try and change things from the ‘outside,' it can turn up like this. Ask yourself these questions right now.
- Are you desperate in trying to seek someone’s approval or seeking their acceptance?
- Are you desperately trying to win their praise and warmth?
- Are you desperately trying to make them acknowledge you?
- Are you desperately trying to win their love only to be upset after finding that you have failed?
- After you know that you have failed in your attempts, does it make you feel angry, resentful, desperate, worthless, guilty and exhausted?
- Do these feelings affect every area of your life?
Here are few techniques on how to love yourself from the inside out and kick start your healing journey:
- Stop trying
If you are seeking to make things work, make things better, or make the other person happy, stop doing it straight away. Stop saying the “right” things or doing the “right” things, or making things right when things don’t happen as you expected. You might have already been trying this for many years, and if you are still doing it, you will feel even more disappointed.
- Don’t have expectations from your partner
When you call or text your girlfriend, don’t expect her to respond promptly or in a manner, you would like to respond. Don’t expect your partner to be happy for you, cheer you, smile for you, hug you, kiss you, or be interested in anything you have to say or do. When you stop having or no expectations from your partner, you also shield yourself from being frustrated or upset.
- Understand that you don’t need anything from this person
You are enough for yourself. You are whole. You don’t need anyone to make you feel complete and desired or love. You don’t really need their affection, their compassion, their approval, their praise, their validation or their love to make you feel worthy.
- The healing is for you and only all about you
Put yourself first for the first time in your life for heaven’s sake. This means sparing some time for yourself, taking care of your needs, making yourself feel better, and taking initiatives that will help you to fulfill your own expectations. It’s highly likely you don’t know how it feels like to take care of yourself or even forgotten about it.
- Accept yourself
If you want to speed up your healing process after the demise of your relationship, there isn’t any better way than accepting who you really are. Get your identity and personality back by letting go the need to have someone else love and affection in any form. Stop reminiscing on your past, instead learn from them, and take steps to forgive yourself and your partner. We all choices in life and we all deserve to live a life and have relationships that are full of peace, happiness, and fulfillment.