If you are having trouble meeting women, it probably has to do with the fact that you are looking in all the wrong places. Here, we won’t just give you ideas for specific places where you can meet women, but tell you why they are great places and tell you how to use them to your fullest advantage.
Bars and Clubs: The Wrong Place
Bars and clubs seem like the logical place to meet women. In fact, a lot of women actually go to these places to meet men (be it for relationships or casual hookups). But, unless you are incredibly good-looking or really good at flirting (or both), then you probably aren’t going to have any luck.
You know those Animal Planet documentaries which show the males doing things like displaying their plumage, knocking their antlers together, or puffing up really big in order to get the attention of the females? Well, that basically sums up the atmosphere in a bar or club.
Women in bars know what you want – and this puts them in a position to make you work for it. Plus, there are almost always going to be more men on the prowl than women – which puts women in an even bigger position of power.
It isn’t impossible to meet women in bars and clubs, you’ve just got to be really good at the art of pickup (read our article on how to pick up girls). Aside from the pickup tricks, you will also have to be damn good at bantering (download our free guide on how to flirt with girls).
Even if you succeed in picking up a girl in a bar or club, it probably isn’t going to go anywhere (other than an awkward first date or maybe a one-night stand). This is because it is really hard to get to know a girl in a bar or club. The chances that you and the girl actually have something in common is pretty slim. So, if you want to meet women for something other than casual sex, I’d suggest you start looking in one of the following places.
Get Passionate about a Hobby
Other than confidence and paternal instincts, the thing that women find sexiest is passion. It doesn’t matter if you are passionate about something as dumb as model airplanes or as complex as binomial figures, women will get turned on if they can see your passion (though it would be even better to get passionate about something sexy like cooking or Latin dancing…).
Before I go any further, I want to clarify that passion is NOT the same as obsession. It is one thing to get excited about your hobby and travel around the world to pursue it. It is another thing to revolve your life around this one thing.
Passions give you something unique to talk about when you meet women, and they can also present a lot of opportunities for meeting women. If you are passionate about model airplanes, for example, you can meet women in aerospace museums and easily strike up a conversation by commenting on the displays. A lot of hobbies have groups and events, so these are great places to meet women.
Join a Social Club
As we get older, it is really hard to meet new people because we get so wrapped up in our own lives. Clubs and other social groups present a unique opportunity for meeting new people. This setting is one of the best places to meet women because:
- It is social by nature; women join to meet other people
- You will have plenty to talk about
- You will have plenty to do in case conversation starts lagging
- Their defenses are down, unlike in a bar or club
What type of club should you join? It really doesn’t matter but, if your goal is to meet women, then you should look for a club which has lots of female members. Some examples of good clubs to join are:
- Language exchange clubs
- Book clubs
- Hiking clubs
I’d recommend checking out the website meetup.com. It is a place where members can start clubs based on interests. There are meetups worldwide and major cities usually have tons of different options.
Taking a class is a great place to meet women. Not only are there lots of women in these classes, but the women are often in what we can call a “transitional” stage of their life. People tend to start taking classes when they want to improve their lives – and they often consider finding a new relationship part of this improvement. So, there is a good chance that the women in your classes with be single and open to going out on dates with you.
Even if you don’t see your dream girl in the class, the class still provides you with plenty of opportunities for improving your social skills (read our post about how to meet women). Another big plus is that taking a class gives you something to talk about when you meet women in other places. Just mentioning that you are taking a class will be a big turn on for women because they find it sexy when guys do things to improve themselves or are open to learning new things. So, take a look at what sort of classes are available in your local area.
These classes are especially good for meeting women:
- Adult education classes from the local community college
- Arts and crafts classes
- Cooking classes
- Language classes
Group Dance Classes
EVERY guy should take dance lessons, even if he has absolutely no interest in dancing. Why? Because, for humans, dancing is the exact same thing that bucking antlers is for deer: a mating ritual. If you can move on the floor, you subconsciously tell women that you are good in bed. Plus, most ladies love dancing and you will be more likely to get and keep her attention at a bar or club if you are impressive on the floor (no bantering or flirting required!).
Since women tend to be more interested in dancing than men, group dancing classes will likely have a surplus of women. This is a great opportunity to meet someone. Or, if you don’t like any of the women in your class, invite them out dancing after class sometime (telling them to bring their friends too, of course!).
Start Playing a Sport
Sports teams are a great place to meet women. Ideally, you are going to choose a unisex league and a sport which women typically like to play, such as volleyball instead of something testosterone-driven like touch football.
Since there won’t really be that many women on your actual team, it might seem like this isn’t the best place to meet women. Not so! After practice or a game, you will probably go out for drinks with the team, and they will certainly also invite you to events like parties and BBQs. At these get-togethers, you will have lots of chances to meet your teammates’ lady friends. Since you’ve already been given the “okay” through association, it will be much easier to approach these friends.
As an added bonus, playing a sport is a great way to get in shape and get your confidence up. This will definitely help you attract the ladies. Even mentioning that you play a sport can be a turn on for a woman!
The Dog Park
If you have a dog, then use it to your advantage. Forget the normal walk and start taking Rover to the local dog park. Then, make a good show of playing with your dog. Women are attracted to men who have dogs because it shows that you are responsible enough to care for a living creature. When you play with your dog, it is an even bigger turn on because it alludes to all your potential daddying skills.
Here are some tips on how to strike up a conversation with women at dog parks:
- Scout out the park first. Don’t hit on any women until you’ve gone there a few times to see who the regulars are, and to see if they come with boyfriends/husbands. Once a woman has seen you a few times at the park, she won’t be weirded out if you strike up conversation.
- If your dog isn’t social by nature (i.e. isn’t going to go sniff other dogs’ butts), then bring an extra ball with you. Then be the nice guy and throw her dog the ball.
- Ask what her dog’s name is. Then (depending on the dog), ask if the dog is a rescue or a pure-breed.
- Once you’ve made a connection, ask if she’d like to go for a walk with you and the dogs sometime. If this meeting goes well, the next date can be without the dogs.
Libraries or Bookstores
Intellect is an attractive trait, which is why libraries and bookstores are good places to meet women. However, you’ve got to be really careful about how you approach women there or you run the risk of seeming creepy.
To make the most out of these places for meeting women, check out their events calendars. There should be some book readings, classes, discussion groups, or other events going on. Since these are social events by nature, it won’t freak a woman out if you start talking to her after the event.
A word of warning: don’t approach random women at a library or bookstore unless you are a genuine booklover! Otherwise, women will quickly see through you and get creeped out. If you actually do love books though, then it isn’t too difficult to meet a woman at these bookish places.
When you see a woman reaching for a book that you’ve read, then smile and comment on it. Don’t give her some scholarly discourse or try to sound intellectual! You will just end up sounding pretentious and obnoxious. Say something simple like, “I usually don’t like psychological thrillers, but that book had my mind in a warp for days.” Then follow up with a question like, “Have you read any of her other books?” or “I’m looking for something new to read. Got any recommendations?”
If you make a connection, then ask for her phone number. Don’t be hesitant about it either! Say something along the lines of,
“I know this great little bistro nearby. Can I take you out there sometime? A woman that likes Paul Auster is too good to pass on!” (followed by a flirtatious smile)
Honestly, this is NOT a good place to meet women. When you approach a woman at a coffee shop, she knows exactly what you want for her. This is fine if she is also hoping to meet someone, but chances are that she is there to get her daily caffeine buzz and do some work.
Before you get scared off from the idea of meeting women at coffee shops, be aware of the fact that many women fantasize about being approached by a stranger while they are out doing their daily business. At the very least, you will probably make her day. After all, who doesn’t like to be noticed by the opposite sex! But, before you approach a woman at a coffee shop, look out for these signs that she is open to your approach:
- She is at a wide-open table and not hidden away in the corner somewhere
- She is relaxed and not crazily typing away or doing some other work
- Her body language is positive (arms uncrossed, relaxed posture…)
- You make eye contact and she returns your gaze instead of scowling
In a coffee shop, you really do need a good opener. Ideally, it should be a “genuine” question so she doesn’t get her guard up and think all you want is sex. For example, I once picked up a girl who was at a coffee shop doing some work on her computer with this line:
“How do you like that Dell computer? I was thinking of buying the same one but was worried about a review I read which said they overheat.”
If the question is “genuine,” then it will lead to further conversation. In my case, the woman opened up and told me about the work she does on her computer. I asked her if she’d like to go get an ice cream with me at a nearby place and we were out on a date that very hour.
You Can Meet Women Anywhere…
It is possible to meet women anywhere, so long as you are open and avoid doing anything which could be perceived as creepy (more on that in our article about how to meet women). Keep in mind that confidence is key! To get yourself ready for approaching women, check out our guide to how to flirt with girls which you can download here for free.