When people talk about intimacy in a romantic relationship most of us think is intimacy in your life is all about finding someone with whom we can have a close relationship with. What if we tell that couples have not been able to have intimacy in their relationship despite the fact that they have found the right lover, partner, or spouse? What if we tell you to establish real intimacy in your relationship, you have to be intimate with yourself in the first place?
Here are three intimacy myths all couples should know about so that both of you can create intimacy in your lives that will help you to have a better connection not only with your girlfriend but with yourself and people around you:
Myth #1: Intimacy is only about sex
Let’s be clear on one thing; we can have sex without intimacy and create intimacy without any sexual activity. This makes us wonder about what are the actual elements of intimacy? Despite what most of you are thinking; sex isn’t one of them. The intimacy we are focusing on here is to have is a level of intimacy with you that will enable you to have a certain degree of kindness, generosity, and care that can’t be disrupted by anyone or by any circumstances. You can’t experience real intimacy unless you are willing to have a higher connection with yourself. An easy way to do that is to express gratitude to your own self. Most men and women tend to self-deprecate and judge themselves. They don’t appreciate and acknowledge themselves. Start writing down at least three things every day that you are grateful for and feel good about yourself. If you start looking at yourself and your life with gratitude, everything around you will change for the best, which also includes sex!
Myth #2: Intimacy is all about being able to trust someone fully
When we are in love with someone, we often neglect or decide to ignore red flags in our partners with the hope that they will change. We believe that our spouses will do their best to change themselves because they know that we love and care for them a lot. But, what if it never happens? The only you can create intimacy in the relationship is by trusting that our partners will exactly be the same when we first met them. We aren’t telling that people don’t change. What we are actually trying to say here is that if you expect someone to change, it will extremely challenging or even impossible for them to change. You partner is just like you. You can’t control someone, and you can’t expect someone to change just because you want them to change.
Myth #3: Intimacy happens when someone won’t reject you.
We don’t want to get hurt. We are scared to be rejected when it comes to dating and relationships.
That’s why we put up barriers and walls while growing up hoping that it will protect up from the rejection and pain from our past relationships. But that’s not true. When you put barriers up, you can’t have intimacy in your relationships because these walls will lock you and disconnect you from everything making it difficult for you to know the difference between good and bad.