The first dates are always hard and filled with anxiety. We all need to bring the best of us while meeting some new for the first time. If you want to have a second date, you should make the best impression on the first date conversation.
Now, the question is, did you have a good first date? Sure, the conversation flowed naturally and easily. You both smiled and laughed for hours at each other jokes and stories, and no doubt, you told one another your best stories and jokes. It’s likely that you shared some personal stuff with each other. Later, on the date, you both went to a new place for a drink, and at the end of the day, you took a romantic stroll by the lake, the park or the around town. All this both of you were holding hands and even kissed. You feel like you’re in love and connected. Both admitted that the date was nice and thanked each other. The following morning you sent some sexy or flirty texts to her. She also gave out hints that she’s interested in going out on a second date with you soon.
A week goes by, and still, nothing happens. She never called you or texted you back about when she’ll be ready for the second date. When she finally responded all you got are work excuses, schedules, and vacations. It becomes evident to you – you aren’t getting a second date.
So, what did you do wrong? What made her think of not going on the second date with you? The answer is disappointing and frustrating. Nothing went wrong. Nothing! The date was good and successful – that’s the truth. Your date did enjoy your company. She felt fun and excited while spending the time with you. But, for whatever reason, it didn’t materialize into something more encouraging – a second date. Why? Why you? Why did it happen? It might be the timing wasn’t right. Or she wanted to give Friday’s date an opportunity. Maybe she just got out from a failing relationship or is newly divorced and isn’t fully ready to be in a serious relationship with someone. Perhaps, she thought that this date would never work out, but surely she just wanted to have some fun. Things just didn’t click for you in a big way for a serious relationship.
You see when it comes to dates; there’s a psychology most of us don’t often acknowledge. It’s our desires to “win” the date. We think of our dates like a job interview; we want to consider the date a success. We like to see ourselves in good company. We really want the other person sitting across the table to like us. We fail to find common grounds, interests or connections such as “I can’t believe you also went on a vacation to the Bahamas, too,” or “You like pizza, too?” etc.
Seeking validation from our dates is in our nature. The confusion sets right in when we think that all that attention we give to each other is sincerely romantic. Sometimes, while dating someone new, you just can’t tell the difference whether your date was genuinely interested in you or not. It might be that they did know whether they liked the person or not. This is why it’s helpful to opt for a carefree attitude until it becomes apparent you’re both interested in embarking on a new relationship. And the only way that can happen if you’ve had a third date or dating for three months. In the meantime, like don’t give up on love too quickly.