Dating can be a terrifying for some people, particularly to those who have started dating after a breakup or a divorce. They have little idea what they’re doing or can’t remember the conversation they have with the new person. Sometimes the date ends up in a disaster, or both of them get passed by it.
We don’t like to be slaves to “rules”, and even the most comforting one among us will try to resist giving in to these rules while dating.
The allure of dating rules, (some call them principles), is that they give you confidence that if you have enough skills, you can easily navigate to the next relationship. Some people even go to extra lengths if they follow all the advice. They won’t get heartbroken again. Good luck with that!
It’s common to hear people who are going through a breakup and upset about it saying they’ll not repeat the same mistakes in their next relationship. But, it’s easier to say than doing it.Many individuals are in a quest to find the perfect partner, create chemistry, maintaining momentum in the relationship. And they get so overwhelmed with tips and advice on what to do and what not to do that they only blow it all away.
At every dating process, you keep thinking about questions like, “Did I respond to that text message or email too quickly? Was I late in asking her out for dinner? Did I mention to make our relationship exclusive too soon? Most of these things can go wild once you’re really in a relationship. It doesn’t matter what most relationship experts tell and suggest to do, to have a great date. A lot of people will get confused by how much there is to think about it.
The fact is there isn’t a “flawless” or “right” way to find and nurture love; we all are giving out best. Thinking like this takes a lot of burden out of our minds, and subsequently, it proves that we are after all humans and stumble like everyone else. Moreover, you find a lot of people who have found love in places and time that they least expected it. Just ask any of your favorite couples how they met for the first time and got into an exclusive relationship. You’ll be surprised to hear that they had a ton of missed connections, upsetting breakups, poor communication, bad timing, awful intentions, heartbreaking separations, infidelity, emotional breakdown, jealousy, bad kissing and so forth. All these unprecedented events eventually made them better and landed them into a cozy and committed relationship.
Overall, this is a good context to bear in mind whenever you’re fidgeting over you replied to that email too soon or whether if you showed too much or too little interest in your date. Instead, of asking yourself if you did anything wrong or right while dating, ask yourself if you did anything that was “real and authentic”. Did your actions reflect your true intentions and motivations? Do you genuinely want to be treated the same you treated others? Remain true and honest to these rules, and there’s no chance you’ll make any mistakes, and lose your way in finding the perfect partner.