We are naturally inclined to be loved, supported and accepted, particularly in a relationship where we need to be emotionally supported by our partners. Sometimes, it’s perfectly okay to reach out and ask for help, but when we become too needy, clingy and desperate, it can become downright annoying and counterintuitive in creating a healthy relationship. Most men and women want someone who can express their feelings, tolerate loneliness, and take care of themselves, instead of relying on their partners for everything while in a relationship.
One of the main reasons needy people are like that is in the majority of the cases, they’ve parents who were overly nurturing of them, which has cultivated a sense of anxiety and anger within themselves, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Needy people are always trying to minimize or deny their needs. They always ask or manipulate other people to cater to their emotional needs and emptiness. They constantly worry that their partners don’t love them enough, so they feel insecure, oversensitive and emotional all the time. As a result, they always keep rushing to their boyfriends or girlfriends to be around them, and always remind them they need more around them.
Being overly needy often exhausts their partners emotionally and makes them feel overwhelmed. It can lead the relationship to a breaking point. This is exactly what anxious people fear most and yet, their needy and clingy behavior will push their partners away. Their partners also find them to compliment or reassure, or even help them, as they’ve insatiable emotional neediness.
But, the good news is it’s possible to counter being emotionally needy. Here are few ways to do it:
- 1. Be aware of the needy behavior. You can be aware of the issue if you don’t recognize a problem in the first place. Try to understand and address your emotional anxiety and how it is affecting your relationship now, will impact you in the future. Develop strategies that can help you get rid of your clingy and needy behavior.
2. Start learning to trust. If your fear of being abandoned, and finding in difficult to trust people, it’s a sign of neediness. Your partner will break up with you if he or she thinks that you doubt them and fear that they’ll leave you one day. Try to trust your intuition.
3. Give your partner some space. It doesn't matter how close or intimate you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Spending most of your time with him or her is bad. It's overwhelming and stresses them out. In worst case scenario, they’ll break up with you. So, give some space to partner, by spending some time alone by yourself.
4. Be more independent. Start by doing things for yourself and stop depending on other people including your significant other for care and support. Be more self-reliant and independent. Your relationship will be stronger and more stable if you be more independent and less needy.
If you’re looking for a relationship, and think that you’re emotionally needy, then strive to make these changes in your life, and you will find yourself in a healthier relationship.