There are no relationships without conflicts. We all have them. We get angry with our friends, our co-workers, our bosses, and our kids. But, it’s our partners with whom we seem to get the angriest. But this anger, this conflict with our significant others can be very destructive to our lives and relationships.
Fortunately, there are ways to get let go of anger and overcome the conflicts in our relationships, and it is way easier than one would think. Below are five ways to get over being pissed off at your lover:
Carefully Appoint The Time To Talk
Things won’t be fruitful when you talk to your partner when you're angry. This way you’ll say things you might not mean to say. After having a fight wait for at least 2 hours before speaking up. Following this approach will calm you down and help you talk more clearly. Also, pick a less stressful time to talk, like going to bed or just after work. Being calm and choosing a less stressful time will help you to have the conversation with good energy and resolve the issues amicably.
Don’t Be Aggressive
This step is crucial, but despite this most of us do without thinking and it gets us nowhere. For example, say your partner is always late from work. Instead of saying him, “Why are you always late? This makes me angry”, consider saying, “I become sad when you're always late from work and I really miss you when aren’t there with me while having dinner.” Notice the difference here. In the first example, your partner will get defensive immediately, and the conversation will be over instantly. On the other hand, in the second case, you’re letting him know about your feelings, and no one can argue with it. It's genuinely how you feel, and it’s the truth. What’s wrong is your spouse being inconsiderate for coming home late. Also, make sure that your partner has understood what you are trying to mean.
Remember We Are All Only Human
All of us make mistakes. Our unwanted actions aren’t a reflection of our feelings or emotions about someone. Instead, they’re the outcome of a variety of things such as time, motivations, distractions, etc., all of which that works work together and gives birth to a troublesome situation. So, the next time you react or get defensive to something your partner does, spare a moment, think about the situation and find out why it happened.
Be Prepared To Apologize And To Forgive
This is said easily than done and can be a hard thing for people to do. But being sorry and be forgiving to all perceived wrongs is one of the most critical parts of any relationship. So, what’s works behind that makes us so hard to that we're sorry? Is it because we can dismiss our anger? Is it because it conveys that we are weak? Is it because we feel embarrassed by our actions? Regardless of our reasons or excuses, we all need to do it or learn how to do it.
So, if you have an argument or a disagreement with your significant other, apologize. And see how the anger de-escalates on both sides. We need to apologize and forgive as withholding anger one of the most destructive forces you can witness in any romantic relationship.