Infidelity is a devastating experience for everyone who is in a marriage or committed relationship. A lot of feel immense pain, anger, guilt and confused about our life. This feeling is very common, and you are not alone. What do you think after you discover cheated on you is very normal? It is the first thing you realize. So, now what?
The first thing that comes to your mind is who you tell about this. This is hardest, and most men and women with it to get along for the rest of the day. You’ve got so many things to do as well as organize. You keep wondering how to deal with the elephant in the room. What exactly happened to both of you? How can you know the whole story? Are you thinking to draw some physical boundaries between you and your boyfriend or girlfriend? Some issues are important to talk about, and some things just made worse. Sooner or later, at some point, both of you guys have to sit down and have a deep conversation about what actually really happened. But, keep the talk to the point, and focus on the essentials.
Talk about how long did this romantic relationship last? Who initiated the affair? Did your partner have a sexual relationship with this man or woman? How much did your partner lie to you to keep this whole affair a secret? Does anyone else know about that your spouse cheated on you? How much did he or she spend on the affair? Did you check for AIDS, STD or pregnancy? What did you do that made your partner cheat? What was exactly going on with you or our relationship?
As the victim, we would cordially tell you not to rush about the x-rated details of the sexual encounters your boyfriend or girlfriend had. Don’t ask self-destructive questions, like comparing you with the person your partner had an affair with. Keep all the focus on your relationship, not on the person. If he or she is coerced to answer those kinds of questions, select your words with a lot of care and sensitivity, and give only feedback that is constructive.
Get All The Support You Can!
Most marriages instantly don’t break up because of an affair. If your partner has cheated on you, it might take some time to figure out what led to this crisis, and how to proceed from that point. Don’t make any permanent or life-changing decisions in these situations as it’s highly likely that you aren’t thinking straight, and that’s okay. You might not be able to commit to your significant other at this point fully.
But, there is one thing that you can do. Decide how you can commit to finding out ways of dealing with your relationship after an affair by working on this together and restore or even improve your relationship. Many couples discover that the support he or she receives from friends and family is good, but not entirely sufficient to overcome and move on from the pain and the heartbreaks from cheating. The reason is both parties family and friends have a stake in the outcome. Also, they’ll influence your decisions about the future of your relationship by citing their own personal experiences.