Do you ever have a feeling that your partner is demanding a little too much from you and you are left with no choice except for fulfilling the needs of your partner by all means? Then you are dealing with a codependency in your relationship.
Codependency relationships are not exclusively seen in only romantic relationships; it can also be present in friends, family, coworkers, roommates, etc. Codependent relationship comprises two people, where one only gives and gives and gives, while the other keeps on taking it without realizing that what sort of emotional strain it is giving to the relationship. The person who is giving is called as enabler while the individual that only consider taking is termed to be the dependent figure of the relationship.
In a relationship, there may come the times when your partner relies upon you only in certain circumstances like going through a bad patch of your life or coping with sudden life changes. But if this dependency shows its consistency then you are living in a co-dependent relationship.
Let us discuss the following pointers to highlight codependency in a relationship.
- Your partner can’t socialize without you. A dependent partner will only feel at ease when the lover is around. They feel comfortable, safer and confident only when they have their partners with them otherwise they hesitate in socializing.
- The worst fear of the dependent partner is losing their lover. They feel sick and paranoid whenever they cannot reach out to them. They start making up different scenarios in which they can even consider themselves as dead without their lover.
- They hunger for your acknowledgment. Their promotions or any positive milestone is nothing without your appreciation. And they will be only happy on what they have achieved when they are cheered by you.
- Whether reaching the moon or becoming the king, they will stay unhappy unless and until their partner is with them. They cannot even develop their personal hobbies unless their partner does it too.
- Anything you say and they say “yes” to it, no matter if it goes against their will or belief, but they can never think of refusing or saying “no” to you as they fear that they might get abandon.
- Your partner does not have the extensive set of friends. In desire of staying close to their lover, they adjust themselves in their friendship circle.
- No matter what type of decision a dependent partner has to make, they simply rely upon their lover. Whether the decision is regarding buying anything new, accepting a job offer or even it can be about wearing the new outfit, they never take a step forward without discussing and asking. They may get disturbed or torn upon what exactly they want and what permission or approval they get in response, but they will always rely on your tips and advice.
In a relationship, the enabler might think that they are helping their partners but what I believe they are encouraging these bad and immature habits of them which can become very harmful to the relationship in the long run.