Selflessness is considered a sign of well-mannered adults and it’s vital for married people for a long-lasting marriage. But, being selfless can be a poison for people who are dating. You need to be more self-centered when you are seriously dating. In other words, you should be utterly obsessed with yourself if you’re looking for a partner. And, I believe individuals who tend to be generous and selfless while dating will have a hard time to meet someone who is compatible with them. Some of you might be uncomfortable listening to this, so allow me to explain:
If you’re thinking to be in a committed relationship, then you will be determined if the new person you’re dating is going to be a good partner for a long time. You would be like to link with your partner romantically, socially, financially and legally, that is if you get married. He/She will have their faults and gifts, and you’ll have to accept them, and build a happy and satisfying life together. This isn’t small talk.
Let me explain this with an example. Say, your new boyfriend/girlfriend is a great guy. He’s loving, kind, considerate and supportive, but he’s an alcoholic. Because you’re passionate and love him, you want to help him. When he’s sober, he's a fun and exciting guy to spend time with, but when gets drunk he’s terrible. It’s easy to tell that having a serious relationship or marrying this person is risky. He can quit drinking, but there’s a risk that he won’t, and you’ll have to live with the consequences.
Now, a person who is selfless and puts other first would probably wouldn’t abandon him and leave him for himself. Instead, he would take care of him and make him better. Hundreds and thousands of relationships and marriages have started for just this reason. This woman can’t be selfish; even she needs to be at this point. The woman isn’t acting in her best interests and is risking a lot in her life by being in a relationship with an alcoholic.
Of course, most of us don’t have relationships with an alcoholic, but some individuals are neurotic, have anger issues, narcissistic, jealous, and other negative traits, that can make a relationship to end. Your best approach here is to communicate with your partner and encourage him or her to improve in these areas before you get serious with the relationship. And if things don’t get better, then the best solution is to be selfish, end the union and move on.
Overall, we all have our perfections and imperfections. To make any relationship work, you have to make changes and compromises in your life. There is no short cut here. The takeaway here is – if you dated your partner long enough and noticed some bad points, then you should discuss it. Take steps to improve or get rid of it. If your romantic partner doesn’t want to do or make it happen, then it’s time for you to be selfish. You have to be SELFISH. It’s for the best for your life.