Have you ever been in a relationship that has failed you? Have you tried very hard for a relationship that was destined to fail? Do all of these mishaps make you wonder is there something wrong you have been doing that is jeopardizing all your relationships? Are you constantly asking yourself self-deprecating questions like, “What is wrong with me?’ or “Why do all my relationships fail?”
Let’s make one thing clear; first, these aren’t real questions. All of these questions are conclusions with a big question mark at the end. If you make assumptions from vague conclusions, you can’t create anything different. The second thing here is there is nothing inherently wrong with you. You can’t be wronged or played so easily. If you want to have a relationship that works, it’s imperative that you stop looking for a relationship in the wrong places.
Here are three things you should do:
- Ask yourself, “What do I actually want in my life?”
This question is important because all great relationships begin with you having all of you. A relationship is a choice. Most men and women look for a relationship when they find the perfect partner. The replaced their lives with their relationship. And the moment they do that they stop living. Instead of asking questions like this one ask questions like these; “What would I like see my life in 5 years? Do I want to travel? How much money do I have to make? What’s most important thing to me?”
Finding the right answers to these questions will give you a clear direction of what you genuinely desire in life. It doesn’t matter if all that you want in life is a relationship. Just remember one important thing, don’t let your relationship to replace your life.
- Create a list of things that you would like in a spouse
Before you get involved in a serious relationship, you need to get clear about what you actually want in a romantic relationship. The big issue here is you don’t ask that. You look at a woman you feel attracted to, and you say, “I like her.” The problem is that you never ask her whether she likes you or not. Because you like her, you think she will like you too, and everything is going to be perfect. Try to figure out what you desire. Think about how your interactions with a girl are going to be. Find what you want to create and share with her. Ask yourself are you interested in having a relationship with a woman who has a good sense of humor or excellent communication skills.
- Create a list of things that you don’t want to see in your girlfriend
After making a list of all the things you wanted to see in a woman you are looking to have a relationship with, consider creating a listicle of all the traits or behaviors that you don’t want to see in a woman. For instance, you can say, “I don’t want to have a girlfriend that complains or argues all the time or I don’t want to be with a woman, who is desperate and needy,” you get the idea. The main point is you need to clarify what will work for you and what won’t work for you in the long-term.