While looking for a partner, some of us get stuck in a situation, where some men and women wished they could be in such a problem. How will you choose between two or more potential partners? It isn’t a rosy issue as most people might, as the reality is much more complicated. How will you decide? What qualities are you looking for a partner? What are the deal-breakers? The comparison between two good individuals is a very hard task. But, there is a way to make things easier for you.
To start, first ask yourself these five questions:
1. What do I want more in a partner and life?
Resist making a list such as, “He or she should…” Instead, begin with, ‘I want him or her…”. Sure, you list the most desirable and attractive qualities you want to see in your partner, but by changing your focus, you’ll avoid determining the choice only regarding somebody else. You’ll see that you want a lot more in life than any single person can ever deliver, when it comes to meanings, achievements, belonging and adventure. Then now go with the person who will give you the most boost and encourage you.
2. What am I scared of most?
You’ve discovered your personal, “must haves”, in the previous question. Now, it’s time you make a list of the things that your dread the most. We humans all have some particular fears with it roots since our childhoods. Maybe you’re scared of abject poverty, drug addiction, uncontrollable anger, or inability to meet your personal goals. Now, check your fears with your matches, and decide which partner is best equipped to help you avoid it.
3. Where do I excel?
Find out what are your strengths are, the things you love to do, and the things that you’re good at. Now, think about all the qualities your potential partner should have that will compliment your own potential. Relationships aren’t about one person. A loving and healthy relationship nourishes and brings the best of each other. When deciding between two equally qualified partners, think about your strengths, and determine which match might magnify or diminish them.
4. What are my weaknesses?
Naturally, we all have our strengths and our weaknesses. The key is to know yourself better to pinpoint the areas you need help. Do you often struggle with overeating? Do you self-sabotage at work? Do you have problems managing your finances? Some people will perfectly counterbalance these issues, while others will make it worse than it already is. The more you know yourself and confident, the easier it will be for you to make a choice.
5. Where do I hope to see myself after 10, 15, 20, 30 years?
Predicting the future is impossible. But, that shouldn't stop you from making projections about how you hope to see yourself in the coming decades regarding your life goals and dreams. You should choose someone who supports and is willing to make some room for your hopes, dreams and life goals.
Life and relationships are uncertain and never comes with a guarantee. No matter, how hard you try, no choice can perfect. When you’re searching for a partner, and you pick between many people, it’s you who is the best bet.