Infidelity is a terrible aspect of many relationships and is a very common downfall of even the best ones. While there is no pain quite like that of betrayal, it's important to watch how you react if you have been cheated on. Emotions run high after infidelity and this can cause you to act out in anger. That's why you should be aware of the six things to never do after your partner cheats:
1. Seek Revenge
The pain of being cheated on makes many people want to retaliate. While you may want to seek immediate revenge on your partner, this isn't wise. Vengeful feelings only lead to bad decisions. Many people find themselves trying to get back at their partner by being unfaithful themselves, but this only leads to deep feelings of shame and regret. For this reason, do not act out in anger. Remember that bad choices cannot be taken back, and you will likely regret whatever revenge you try to enact.
2. Share It On Social Media
Being cheated on can make you feel very vulnerable and you will likely seek solace in friends or family. While it is okay to go to your best friend or your closest family member for support, do not seek support from the masses. Many people make the mistake of sharing their partner's indiscretions on social media, seeking comfort on a larger scale. Sure, this may lead to an influx of messages of support, but you will likely regret it later on. Once your emotions have settled and your mind has cleared, you will be uncomfortable with the fact that you just shared such private info with so many people.
3. Destroy Something Valuable
We've all heard the Carrie Underwood song “Before He Cheats,” which encourages women to destroy their partner's car after his infidelity. While it's a great song, do not do this! It may feel good to take your anger out on something that your partner really cares about, but remember that you can get into actual legal trouble this way. The satisfaction of destroying your cheating partner's car is not worth the night in jail or the cost of damages.
4. Ask For Too Many Details
When a partner reveals they've been unfaithful, it's not uncommon to want every detail. You may want to know who it was with, where it happened, when it happened, and how often. With that said, it will only hurt you more to know every single detail. It's okay to ask for the basic who/where/when, but when you start asking for intimate details, like sexual positions or what may have been said between the two, you will realize that sometimes ignorance is bliss.
5. Scrutinize Yourself
Infidelity is one of the worst things someone can do to their partner, because it immediately causes the one who has been cheated on to scrutinize themselves. If you find yourself in this position, try whatever you can to fight it off. Don't think of how the other person may have looked better than you or how they may have performed better sexually. Don't agonize over what you could've done differently to keep your partner from straying. All you will accomplish is tearing yourself apart. Instead, focus on moving forward, whether it be with or without your partner.
6. Instantly Forgive
This is perhaps the most important thing to never do after your partner cheats. You may love this person. You may want to salvage the relationship. That is fine and understandable. However, you cannot immediately forgive what your partner has done. Infidelity is truly an awful thing to do in a relationship. Your partner has violated your trust and put your relationship on the line. This is something that should not be forgiven right away. If you want to stay together, you'll have to forgive your partner eventually – but not too soon. They still need to be held accountable for what they have done. Taking some time apart may be a good way to show your partner that you are not forgiving them right away, but rather re-evaluating the relationship.