Tag Archives: bad dates

Doomed From The Start: 5 First Date Dealbreakers

First dates can be stressful and nerve-wracking, but every great relationship starts with a first date. The first date determines whether or not you want to pursue a relationship with someone. If the date goes well, you may have found your match. On the other hand, if the date goes horribly, this person will want nothing to do with you. So how do you make sure the date goes well? What should you do to make it a great first date? Well, we know what you shouldn't do! We've got five first date dealbreakers that you will want to avoid:

1. Talking About An Ex

Nothing will send a new beau running faster that talking about your ex. Keep any and all conversations about exes to a bare minimum. You should only mention exes if you are directly asked about them, and even then keep it to a minimum. Talking about your ex will only make your date think that you are still hung up on an old flame.

2. Constantly Being On The Phone

Using your phone too much is one of the worst first date dealbreakers. It's okay to use your phone in an emergency, but it's downright rude to keep checking your texts or taking phone calls when you are out with someone. This just shows your date that you are not interested in them at all and it is incredibly disrespectful.

3. Complaining Too Much

No one likes a negative person. If you complain too much on your first date, it will give them a glimpse into what a relationship with you would be like: a nightmare. It's one thing to voice your concern over something you don't like, but if you're picking everything apart, it will just show that you are a negative person who is difficult to please.

4. Being Rude to Waiters/Servers

One of the worst first date dealbreakers is being rude to wait staff. Being rude to your waiter or waitress shows your date that you have no respect for other people. This includes not leaving your server a tip. Not leaving a tip for a server, or leaving a miniscule tip, is insulting. Your date will not appreciate your disrespect or insensitivity towards other people.

5. Canceling At The Last Minute

The worst of all the first date dealbreakers is not having a date at all. It's understandable if there is a genuine emergency. Your date will likely understand that. But if you cancel at the last minute because you forgot, or because you've made other plans, you are not being respectful of your date's time. This will show your date that you are flakey and cannot be counted on. It also shows that meeting them was not worth your time.

First Dates

4 Ways to Steer Clear of Bad Dates

We have all gone on bad dates. Some of these bad dates are so bad that they can be classified as dating horror stories. Okay, maybe we are overreacting. Most bad dates fall into one of two categories. One, the person doesn’t sound or look anything like what you expected. Two, they did or said something outside of acceptable dating behavior, such as they making crude jokes, wearing inappropriate clothes or just being rude.

Unfortunately, going on an occasional bad date is part of the online dating process. However, if you consistently find yourself on disappointing dates, then something is wrong. Yes, you can’t control the people you get attracted to you, but you can take steps to be in bad dates less often. Here’s how:

1. Know your dates beforehand

Go through tons of emails or several rounds of phone calls while dating online. Doing some preliminary communication will reveal important information about your match. We aren’t talking about the basics here. You can learn those by reading someone’s profile. Instead, you should know about the more subjective information. Things like: does she have a sense of humor? Does she return calls, texts or emails promptly? If the communication feels slow or off-beat, then it’s safe to assume that you both won’t have a great connection when you meet.

2. Ask for more photos

Be subtle while doing this. It’s not appropriate for you to write to your match that you don’t like the existing photos in her profile and she should send you the current ones. Instead, entice your match to share more pictures by sending some of your own. Also, don’t forget to include a message while sending the photos. You can write to her that you are hanging out at your friend’s barbeque and having fun. Then attach a photo of you showing off your grilling skills, eating a giant burger, or a photo of yourself with your friends. By sharing your life in pictures and words, you will inspire your match to do the same.

3. Pick the right spot and control the conversation

The place you go for the first date can influence whether you feel relaxed and comfortable. Meet your match at a place that’s convenient, not crowded, and quiet enough so that you can hear each other. You can’t control what your match says, but you can ask relevant questions. Tell engaging stories. Try to enjoy yourself even if your date is a dud. Learn something about her during your time together.

4. Give your match the benefit of the doubt

When it comes to first dates, it’s common that she will be late because she was stuck in traffic or her dress got ruined in the rain. Or you have forgotten to reconfirm your reservation at the restaurant and now have to hustle to find a new place. Or you will find her looking a little different compared to how she looked in her profile photo. Whatever the situation, try to deal with it. You should bring the best of yourself to the table. Take control of what you can. Figure out the deal breakers later. No matter how bad the date is, enjoy the dinner, have a pleasant chat and move on.