Tag Archives: breakups

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: The 7 Stages Of A Breakup

They weren't lying when they said, “breaking up is hard to do.” (We're not exactly sure who “they” are, but they're right!) Breakups are stressful, painful and sometimes downright traumatizing. In fact, breakups are such an ordeal, they occur in multiple stages! Let us fill you in on the seven stages of a breakup:

1. Shock

Immediately after a breakup, you're likely to be in shock. You'll wonder how it happened or why you didn't see it coming. You may feel totally blindsided and not able to comprehend that your relationship is over.

2. Denial

Denial is one of the most difficult stages of a breakup to get past. You'll spend a lot of time denying the fact that you're relationship is really over. You'll convince yourself that you and your ex are just going through a hard time and you'll get back together soon. You'll tell yourself anything, even if it's totally delusional.

3. Isolation

Once the denial has passed and you realize that your relationship is truly done, you'll want to isolate yourself from the world. You might lock yourself in your room and listen to music. You may isolate yourself to your apartment and binge-watch television. You'll avoid your friends and spend all of your time to yourself.

4. Anger

At this point in the breakup, anger is going to set in. You'll start to lash out at the mere mention of your ex. You may even reach out to them and fight with them, telling them how wrong they were to end the relationship. You're feeling a lot of anger and resentment at your ex for putting you in this position.

5. Bargaining

This stage of a breakup is when you start imaging a reunion with your ex. You may start thinking of trying to get them back. You'll start figuring out ways to win them back, like changing your appearance or taking up new hobbies.

6. Depression

This is one of the hardest stages of a breakup. Your stuck in the transition between bargaining and acceptance. Part of you still wants your ex and the other part of you has accepted that it is over. This combination makes you feel incredibly confused and depressed. You'll probably think that you cannot move on with your life because your heart is at a standstill.

7. Acceptance

This is the final stage of a breakup. You have fully accepted that the relationship is over. While you may not be entirely ready to move on, you have at least accepted that you're not going to be with your ex. You can acknowledge why the relationship ended, where both you and your partner went wrong, and how you plan to move forward.

stages of a breakup

Moving On: 5 Ways To Move On From A Long Term Relationship

Breakups are rough, but they're even worse if it's the end of a long term relationship. The longer you've been together, the harder it will be to get past the breakup. You may feel like you'll never get over it but if you take the right steps, you'll be able to move on. We want to help you move forward with your love life, so we've got five ways to move on from a long term relationship. Check them out here:

1. Take Some Time To Yourself

The best way to move on from a long term relationship is to take some time to yourself. If you were in a relationship for years, it's been a long time since you've been on your own. You need to take this time to be alone and focus on yourself. You can start a new hobby. You can read books or watch movies you've never seen. Just take the time to enjoy being alone before you move on to a new relationship.

2. Envision A New Future For Yourself

To move on from a long term relationship, you need to start envisioning a new future for yourself. When you've been in a relationship for a long time, you probably envisioned your future being with your partner. Now that you're not together, you need to imagine what a future without them is going to look like. This may include new career aspirations or moving to a new location. It may include nothing new at all. Either way, you need to look to the future at this point.

3. Take A Critical Look At the Past

When a relationship ends, you spend a lot of time dwelling on it. We don't want you to dwell on the past, but we do want you to look back at your relationship in a critical way. Be honest with yourself about what went wrong. This will help you to realize what you're looking for in your next relationship. It will help you to see what you want in a partner and what you don't want. It will also help you to avoid making the same mistakes you may have made in the past.

4. Spend Time With Friends and Family

Another great way to move on from a long term relationship is to spend time with friends and family. Spending time with your loved ones will distract you from sitting around and feeling sad. It will also help you to see how much the other people in your life care about you and how they are there for you when you need it.

5. Look At Things Positively

It never ever hurts to look at things positively. This can be applied to anything in life, but especially to bad breakups. Focus on all the good things in your life. Focus on all the good things about yourself. Look to the future and think of what great things may lie ahead. This will help you to move on from the end of your long term relationship.

moving on after breakup

Bouncing Back: 4 Benefits Of Being In A Rebound Relationship

You've probably hear that “rebound relationships” are a bad idea. Throwing yourself into a new relationship immediately after a bad breakup probably seems like a disaster waiting to happen, but it's actually not. Rebound relationships can be very helpful when it comes to moving forward with your love life. Check out four great benefits of being in a rebound relationship.

It Will Distract You From Thinking About Your Ex

When you start dating someone new, your focus and energy will be invested in them. You'll be thinking of your new partner and the budding relationship so much that you'll forget all about the ex who broke your heart. The rebound relationship will help you to forget all about the relationship that just failed.

It Boosts Your Self Esteem

The beginning of a relationship is always great for someone's self esteem. If you're just coming out of a bad breakup, your confidence and self esteem may be damaged. Your new partner may be just the thing you need to boost your confidence. Seeing that someone else is interested in you other than your ex will make you feel good again.

It Keeps You From Wallowing

Focusing your energy on a new relationship will keep you from wallowing in sadness over the end of your previous relationship. After a bad breakup you're often left wondering what went wrong or what you could have done differently. If you jump into a rebound relationship, you can focus on that relationship instead of obsessing over the old one.

It Could Be The Real Deal

There is no inherent rule in the universe that says a rebound relationship can't turn into a legitimate thing. Many rebound relationships actually become healthy, long-lasting ones. Maybe you wound up in your rebound relationship by way of fate and things are meant to be. Don't write the relationship off as “only a rebound” when it could wind up being happily ever after.


Letting Go: 6 Great Ways to Move On From Your Ex

Breaking up is hard to do. While your breakup may have been a great idea, you might find it impossible to move on from your ex. Whether it be obsessing over your memories together or stalking them on Facebook, you cannot let yourself be preoccupied with your ex. We understand that moving on can be difficult, so we've got a few tips to get you started. Check out six great ways to move on from your ex:

1. Cut Off All Contact

The first step to move on from your ex is to cut off all contact with them. Don't call them. Don't text them. Delete them from your social media accounts. Staying in touch with your ex will make it impossible to drop your feelings for them. If you really want to get over them, you need to avoid them.

2. Spend Time With Friends and Family

A great way to get your mind off your ex is by spending time with your friends and family. Go out with your friends. Have dinner with your family. Spending time with people who care about you will help boost your self esteem and make you feel better about moving forward.

3. Start A New Hobby

Picking up a new hobby is an excellent way to move on from your ex. Focusing on a new hobby will distract you from obsessing over your ex. Whether it be painting or taking a cooking class, you might find that your love your new hobby! If not, you can always try several different things until you find what suits you. Either way, a new hobby will take your mind off your ex.

4. See A New Place

Exploring a new place will definitely help you move on from your ex. Take a vacation with some close friends or go on a family trip. Seeing a new place helps to show you how big the world is and that there are so many other things out there. You'll forget all about your previous relationship once you see what the rest of the world has in store for you.

5. Avoid Memories of Them

A huge part of moving on is letting go of old memories. If you want to move on from your ex, you need to avoid obsessing over the memories you share. Don't look at old photo albums. Don't listen to their favorite song on repeat for hours. Avoid all the things that remind you of them. We're not saying you have to throw out old pictures or gifts they gave you. You just need to avoid them until you are sure you've moved on.

6. Meet New People

The best way to move on from your ex is to meet new people. We understand you may not be ready to start dating again, and you don't have to date anyone. You can just get out there and meet new people to hang out with. You don't need to dive into anything serious. Just hanging out with new people will show you that there are plenty of other fish in the sea and before you know it, you'll forget all about your ex.

Moving On

To Be Or Not To Be: 6 Awful Reasons to Get Back With An Ex

Getting back together with an ex is a pretty common thing. Maybe you broke up hastily or for the wrong reasons. Maybe you realize that you're miserable without them. There are definitely good reasons to get back with an ex, but there are more bad ones. Most breakups should stay permanent. If you're wondering whether you should get back with your ex or not, consider your reasoning. To help you out, we've got six awful reasons to get back with an ex.

1. You're afraid of starting over with someone new.

Change can be scary; we understand. With that said, sometimes change is for the best. Don't let the fear of starting over in a new relationship scare you right back into the arms of your toxic ex. Sure, starting all over again can be hard, but it can also be exciting! Starting over with someone new could lead to a happy, long-lasting relationship.

2. You don't think you can do any better.

One of the worst reasons to get back with an ex is insecurity. You may feel like they were the best you could ever get, but this isn't the case. Surely you've heard that “there's plenty of other fish in the sea”, and a lot of those fish are better than the one you had! If you're settling for your ex because you don't think you can do better, you're settling for a life of unhappiness.

3. “They've changed.”

We've all heard this one before. Your ex says that they've “changed”. How much can someone change, really? People can only change so much. Sure, your ex may be able to change some small things that led to your breakup. However, if it was bigger issues, like abuse of infidelity, those things cannot be changed.

4. The sex was great.

This is certainly one of the stupider reasons to get back with an ex. So the sex was great. Maybe it was the best sex of your life. So what? If the sex was great but everything else in the relationship was bad, there's no reason to go back. You can have great sex with a new partner, and if not, sex isn't everything, right? (Okay, we know it's important, but it's not everything.)

5. Your friends think you should.

If you and your ex have mutual friends, they may urge you to get back together. Maybe the breakup has made it awkward for them to hang out with the two of you. Or maybe they just think you broke up for the wrong reasons. Either way, the opinions of your friends shouldn't make you get back with your ex.

6. You have memories together.

For many people this is one of the main reasons to get back with an ex. They share a history together and they've made so many memories together. We want to tell you: this is not a good reason! We understand you have memories with this person. Your breakup doesn't erase those memories. You can hold onto the memories without holding onto the person.

Getting Back With An Ex

Happy Holidays, It’s Over: 4 Reasons Guys Choose to Break Up During the Holidays

Getting dumped is never easy. You're left heartbroken and wondering what went wrong. Getting dumped is even worse when it happens during the holidays. You're left wondering why this jerk chose the happiest time of the year to bail on you. As it turns out, breaking up during the holidays is a very common thing. It's definitely not cool and we don't recommend it, but it happens often. Just to give you some insight as to why this guy dumped you now of all times, we've got four reasons people choose to break up during the holidays:

1. He Doesn't Want You to Meet His Family

If your relationship was relatively new, then you may have not met his family yet. It could be that he's ashamed of them (or worse, ashamed of you). His family might embarrass him by telling childhood stories or talking about his ex girlfriends. There are endless reasons a guy might not want you to meet his family. He's managed to dodge this bullet all year round, but it's almost unavoidable during the holidays. His family will be insisting that he brings his new girlfriend to their holiday dinner, and the only way out is to not have a girlfriend at all. It sounds crazy, but it's one of the most common reasons that guys choose to break up during the holidays.

2. He Doesn't Want to Meet Your Family

So maybe it's not his family that's the problem. A lot of guys dread meeting a girl's family. Meeting a girl's family means they need to be on their best behavior and live up to certain expectations. It's incredibly stressful and not fun for anyone. What guy honestly wants to sit at Christmas dinner and answer a million questions about himself? Not many of them.

3. He Doesn't Want to Get You a Gift

We know this sounds so trivial, but more people have done it than you think. There's a lot of pressure for people to get their partners a great gift during the holidays. If it's a new relationship, do you even know what to get her? Do you have to meet a certain budget? Do you have to get expensive jewelry? These are all nagging concerns surrounding gift-giving, and some guys just can't take the heat. So they take the easy way out and break up. No girlfriend, no gift-giving.

4. He Wants a New Girl for The New Year

There's just something about the holidays that makes people want to change… Oh, right, it's the whole “new year” thing. People often set goals for themselves when a new year rolls around, and one of those goals might be getting into a new relationship. He may have wanted to break up the entire year and been putting it off, but the new year has finally kicked him into action. It's part of that whole “new year, new me” philosophy. It's crazy self-centered of him, but it could be why he chose to break up during the holidays.

Guys Break Up During Holidays

6 Ways to Make Your Ex Regret Dumping You

So you got dumped. Don't feel bad; it happens to the best of us. While most breakups are usually a good idea and lead to better things down the road, there are some breakups that are not destined to be permanent. Do you find yourself still pining for your ex? Do you feel that the breakup was a mistake? It's possible that your ex will regret the breakup and want to reunite. If you feel that this is the case, your ex might need some encouragement to see the light and realize that dumping you was a huge mistake.

Here are six things to do that will make your ex regret dumping you:

1. Cut Off Contact

The first thing you want to do after a breakup is cut off all contact. This will give your ex an opportunity to see what life is like without you. Once they haven't heard from you in a while, they'll begin missing you. If you continue to contact them after the break up, you'll only annoy them and confirm that they made the right choice. Do not text them, call them, or engage with them in any way. This will show them what a world without you in it looks like, and they'll quickly regret dumping you.

2. Delete Their Number

This step will help you to cut off contact with your ex. Delete their number from your phone. Delete them off your social media. Remove any temptation to contact them. This will also help you to heal from the breakup because you will not see constant reminders of them in your contacts or on your social media. It will help to put a “nail in the coffin” so to speak. While you are erasing traces of your ex, they will begin remembering your relationship.

3. Have Fun

After the breakup, you will need to fill your life with fun things to do. Go out with friends. Spend time with family. Find a new hobby. Go on that vacation you always wanted to go on. Not only will fun activities distract you from thinking about the breakup, it will show your ex that you are fine without them. Whether they see pictures of you having fun online, or they hear about it from mutual friends, your ex will see that you are doing okay. This will only make them desire you more and have serious doubts about breaking up with you.

4. Make Them Jealous

Making your ex jealous is a foolproof way of filling them with regret. Let them see you having fun with other people. Let them see you talking to other potential love interests. The thought that someone else is enjoying your company will drive them crazy. They will hate the idea of you making new memories with someone else and forgetting all about your life with them. Before you know it, they will seriously regret dumping you.

5. Make Big Changes

Whether it be physical or emotional, you're going to want to make some changes. Show your ex that you can move forward with your life. It could be a new haircut that boosts your confidence, or a new job that challenges your skills. A major life change will not only make you feel better, but it will also show your ex all that you are capable of. They'll be amazed seeing a new side of you and it will only make them want you more.

6. Communicate Again…Eventually

While you want to cut off all contact initially, you'll want to start talking to your ex again eventually. After taking the appropriate time to move on (typically a few months, depending on how long the relationship was), initiate contact with your ex again. Keep it short and simple, and definitely do not let on that you want them back. Keep things friendly at first and see where they stand. Maybe meet up for coffee or go for a walk. Let your ex see how much they missed spending time with you. After hanging out as friends a few times, your ex will see how much you mean to them and they will regret dumping you.

Obviously before you begin doing any of these things, you need to consider if you really want to get back together with your ex. Some breakups are for the best. It's possible that the sadness you are feeling is just loneliness, not actually missing your ex. However, if you truly feel like your breakup was a mistake, then by all means do what it takes to make your ex regret dumping you!

6 Ways to Make Your Ex Miss You Like Crazy

So your relationship ended. These things happen, and sometimes they're for the best. However, some relationships are not meant to end. If you're going through a breakup and feel like it was a mistake, you may want to reunite with your ex. Before you can even begin to think of reuniting, you need to make sure that your ex also wants to get back together. For your ex to reunite with you, they need to first miss you. How can you make sure that your ex misses your relationship?

Here are six ways to make your ex miss you like crazy:

1. Cut Off Contact

The first step after any breakup is to cut off all contact. You need to delete their phone number. Remove them from your social media. If you're constantly calling or texting your ex, it doesn't even give them an opportunity to miss you. In fact, contacting them all the time will only make them glad to be away from you. In order for your ex to miss you, you need to remove yourself from their life. Once they haven;t heard from you in a long time, they'll realize that they miss talking to you.

2. Let Time Pass

After a breakup, you need to take some time to recover. The amount of time differs depending on how long the relationship was. Experts recommend that you need at least 3 weeks to a month to start recovering after a breakup. Take the appropriate time to grieve the end of your relationship. By not contacting your ex, you are also giving them the appropriate amount of time to grieve the end of the relationship. During this time, don't go crazy trying to reach out to your ex. Don't go to places where you might see them. This time is reserved for being completely apart. It will definitely be hard, but in the long run it will help to make your ex miss you.

3. Don't Show You're Sad

Obviously you will be sad after a breakup, but don't make your sadness public. The designated time period after a breakup is the time for sadness. Stay home, listen to sad songs or watch sad movies. Take the time for yourself, and keep it to yourself. You might be compelled to post sappy song lyrics on your social media or make cryptic posts about how your relationship ended. Do not do this. You can share your sadness with a close friend or family member, but don't broadcast it for the world. Letting everyone see how sad you are will embarrass you and will not make your ex miss you at all.

4. Have Fun

In order to make your ex miss you like crazy, you need to starting having a lot of fun. After you've spend the appropriate time in mourning, you'll feel better to start going out and having fun. Go out with your friends. Spend time with your family. Pick up interesting new hobbies. Go on a vacation. Doing fun things will not only keep your mind off the end of your relationship, it will also show your ex that you are doing just fine. If your ex sees how much fun you are having without them will make them crazy with jealousy and also see how much they miss you.

5. Live Your Life

After your breakup, you need to move on with your life. It may be difficult, but it is for the best. It will also help with your goal of making your ex miss you like crazy. Once they see that you are living your life without them, they'll see that maybe they made a mistake. Focus on schoolwork or things at your job. Make new friends. Go sightseeing. Continue living life without your ex and it will show them that you are strong and independent. This will only make you more desirable and make your ex miss you more than ever.

6. Create a Friendship

Once a long time has passed with no contact, you'll want to initiate contact with your ex again. You don't want to be too serious or let them know that you want them back. Keep it friendly. Make plans to do something casual like go out to lunch or to a park. Spending time with you as a friend will remind your ex of all the things  they loved about you. After you've established a good friendship, you will be comfortable to approach the idea of reuniting with your ex.

3 Ways to Cope With Romantic Rejection

The word rejection is synonymous with dating. You know you got rejected if your online messages aren’t answered, or the person you went on the first date with hasn’t returned your calls. Regardless of the various ways of getting rejected, most rejections have one thing in common. They all make us feel upset, depressed, and angry. What’s worse about rejection is that we can’t find answers to what went wrong, which might keep us wondering. All this self-inflicted punishment makes us feel miserable and can make us lose our self-esteem, confidence, and leave us feeling emotionally weak.

There is a way to rebound from rejection, though. We can get back our happiness, move on and return to the dating scene. Here’s how:

1. Stop criticizing yourself.

It's perfectly fine to be critical of yourself after a rejection, but there is little benefit in that. Many rejections have nothing to do with the personal flaws or shortcomings of a person. It’s more about the chemistry and compatibility of the two individuals. You might think the other person is interested or feels attracted to you, but in reality he or she isn’t interested enough to take it to the next level. If they feel compatible with you, there is a high chance that you too have felt it at some point. Therefore, stop with the self-blaming and bashing, and clear your mind of negative thoughts that you may feel after being rejected.

2. Restore your self-esteem.

Now that you’ve freed yourself of self-criticism, take steps to revive your self-esteem. The best approach for you here is to remind yourself over and over again about all the great qualities you possess, that make you, YOU! Prepare a list of attributes that you have and believe are invaluable for dating and establishing a long-lasting relationship. Stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you’re a caring, lovable, loyal, compassionate, good listener, amazing kisser, etc. Now, focus on any one of those attributes and write a short essay on it.

Explain to yourself why it’s important to have this in dating and relationships, how this has helped you with your past dates, and why your future boyfriend or girlfriend will find this indispensable, and so forth. Try to write one or two brief paragraphs, or stop only when you start to feel better about yourself. We promise this activity will have a positive impact on your self-esteem.

3. Reclaim your sense of belonging.

Rejections are painful; we won’t disagree with that. But, the main reason why rejection inflicts such emotional pain is that we start to lose our sense of belonging. Humans are naturally inclined to be “wanted,” “loved” and “need to belong” to someone else. It’s this sense of belonging that has made us very susceptible and sensitive to rejection. It’s advised that if you’ve been a victim of rejection, you reach out to your friends and family for support and to regain your sense of belonging.

When you’re looking for a date, be prepared for rejection. It will be painful, and some of you will suffer from it. Following these three steps will make your healing process faster and easier, and make you more confident for your future dates.

Are You Afraid To Date Because You’ll Get Hurt Again?

It’s very common to see someone scared of dating or trusting a man again because they got seriously hurt in their last relationship. No matter how positive they think, they find it very hard to date men and trust again. They feel like all men are just the same. Well, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid to fall in love again after your previous relationship ended badly. We all feel that way sometimes. It’s not the fear that’s the issue. After all, it’s just a feeling and it doesn’t hurt. The fear becomes a huge problem when you allow the fear to restrict your ability to move forward.

Most recently single women say that their previous relationships almost destroyed them. They believe they won’t find love again or trust a man again. Their think their lives will be over. …But, they’re still hanging on. We know that you’re extremely wounded and vulnerable, but you’re still alive. Most men and women treat the end of their relationships as some life threatening accident that will kill or maim them. Sure, after your relationship ends you’ll feel very depressed. It makes you feel appalling and sad indeed. Sometimes the emotional pain can get intense, and but we still manage to get through it.

Usually we don’t want to experience it again and that’s fine. But you have to know that without taking any risks, you can’t gain anything. When you fall in love with someone or enter into a relationship, you don’t know what will happen to you in the future. You can be happy, or you run the risk of getting hurt. You can’t get around it. So, what are you going to do about it? Well, we suggest you start small. Spare yourself a few minutes, and allow yourself to feel whatever is happening to you both physically and emotionally. Allow yourself to feel the compassion for your nervousness, and feel it without judging or self-deprecating yourself. Train yourself to be comfortable and relax in times of discomfort. Figure out ways to entertain yourself and allow yourself to enjoy the frustration and the boredom without the distraction that follows after a breakup or failing to meet the right man or woman to start a new relationship.

If you’re meeting someone new, someone you’re interested in, don’t shy away from feeling the fear or anxiety. Take a minute and feel what you are feeling at the moment, and remind yourself that even though the feeling isn’t exactly nice, it won’t kill you. You know this very well, as you’ve been through this before. This isn’t easy, but at the same time, it can be tremendously fruitful. On a side note, if you happen to be a parent, it’s best not to disappoint your children. Also, don’t introduce your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your kids until you’re entirely sure that he or she wants to be in a committed relationship with you. It’s up to you when you think it's the right time for your kids to meet your new love interest. Nonetheless, if your future life partner proves that he or she is worthy of your trust, congrats! And if they disappoint you, forgive yourself. Getting heartbroken is a part of life as well.

If you’re looking for a date after a breakup, it’s natural to feel afraid to get back in the dating scene again. But, it’s a part of life and the best approach in moving forward.