Tag Archives: cheating

11 Signs That Show Your Partner Might Be Cheating

Cheating is common in many relationships today. When a partner is cheating, there are always signs. No matter how hard they try, cheating boyfriends or girlfriends will show hints of their unfaithfulness.

Here are eleven signs to look out for if you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you:

1. Your partner is overly obsessed with himself or herself. He/she is always checking on how they’re dressed or how they look in a mirror. It’s obvious that your partner might be trying to look attractive to impress the other person. If you see a drastic change in the appearance of your partner, pay attention.

2. You see your partner, who used to dress moderately, suddenly starts wearing expensive shoes, trousers, shirts and perfumes. If you find lipstick stains on him that are not your's or smell a perfume from another lady or man, you may have an indication that he/she is cheating on you.

3. Your partner starts to spend more time with his/her new love interest. This new love interest can be a friend, a colleague, a companion or even an associate of your's. If he/she is a guy or a gal, you might need to know more about this relationship, as it’s highly likely it’s an affair.

4. Your partner suddenly begins to argue with you over irrelevant things. He/she is trying to blame you for something you had nothing to do with, and you realize that they’re doing it to pick a fight with you. This could be a sign that your partner is cheating.

5. All of a sudden, your partner begins seeking privacy. He/she makes secret calls and sends texts or emails without you knowing anything about it and also will not want you to know about some things.

6. Your partner goes on a sudden vacation or business trip without telling you about it. Apparently, your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t want you to know where he/she goes or doesn’t want to tell you about it. All this makes you even more suspicious that your partner is cheating on you.

7. He/she is always texting and chatting online. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is always on the computer chatting with someone, or texts on his or her phone for a long period even while you are there in front of them. You better find out soon what’s going on, because he/she isn’t chatting or texting their friends or family.

8. He/she becomes less romantic and affectionate. Lack of communication and misunderstanding will hurt romance and affection. If you notice that your partner is less romantic to you, or when you try to be intimate or close to him/her, he/she rejects you without giving any solid reasons, it is a bad sign and cheating can be the reason.

9. He/she tells unnecessary lies. When your partner lies about things that don’t matter to you much, be careful. If your boyfriend/girlfriend begins to twist his/her words or explain things that are out of context, or simply that aren’t important to you, you better take a closer look.

10. It is good to have friends, but when your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, even more than yourself, and you’ve never met most of them, be watchful. Notice his reactions, when you tell him that it’s making you feel insecure and uncomfortable that he’s hanging out them.

11. Your partner might show little or no interest in being physically intimate with you. He/she seems disinterested in having sexual relations with you and also in everyday life activities.

3 Steps to Help You Move Forward After Being Betrayed By Your Partner

So, you’ve been struck with a betrayal. You feel your whole life is spinning out of control. Your emotions and thoughts are running thin. You feel sad, angry, desperate and resentful of your partner. You keep asking yourself, “what did I do to deserve this?” Your mind tells you that you can’t come out of this betrayal hole, and your life has stopped moving.

What can you do to get out from this mess? Here are three steps to help you move forward after being betrayed by your partner:

1. Practice Forgiveness

You feel guilty, hurt and resentful that your partner has betrayed you. If you want to get over this and move on from this painful chapter of your life, it’s time to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself will make you get rid of all the anger, pain, and confusion. Your heart, soul, and body will become toxic unless you forgive yourself as well as considering forgiving your former partner. Don’t make yourself the victim and stop with the self-loathing. Practice forgiveness, as it is the ultimate pathway to healing. Also, remember not to punish your future partners for your ex’s transgressions. Be strong, kind, and confident to give them the trust they deserve.

2. Blame vs. Self-Worth

Instead of blaming yourself for your partner betraying you, appreciate your self-worth. Tell yourself that you’re enough as who you are. Acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend betraying or cheating on you has nothing to do with you. On the flip side, if you’re still angry and blaming your partner for betrayal, you need to deeply consider if you can let go of this unfortunate incident, rebuild your relationship, or if it is in your best interest to  leave the relationship and move on. If you have a hard time choosing the right course of action here, you first need to understand why people betray or cheat on their partners. Usually men and women who have low confidence and self-esteem cheat on or betray their mates. They also possess a high need for acceptance and approval. Therefore, if your spouse fits any of the descriptions above, you have to determine whether you want to heal this relationship or totally end it for you to recover.

3. Rebuild Trust

We understand that your partner’s betrayal made a dent in your trust. You find it hard to trust your partner, and other people, which is crucial if you want to move forward. Keep in mind that projecting your fears won’t do anything for the healing process. If you have decided to stay with your partner, the first thing you need to work on is rebuilding your trust. If you fail to forgive, then there is no point in wasting your time and energy by staying in the relationship and also making your partner pay for their past transgressions.

When you’re in a relationship, keep in mind that every relationship has its rough patches. After a betrayal, it’s very easy to get lost in the maze of anger, doubts, and uncertainty about the future. These three steps above will help you move on and ultimately build a more stable and happy relationship in the future.

4 Common Signs That Your Partner is Cheating On You

Let’s be honest: Cheating is never okay. When it comes to dating and relationships, cheating will always be a hot topic. Why? Because almost everyone at some point has been cheated on, thought of being cheated on, tempted to cheat or has been guilty of cheating. Cheating requires an action, and you and your partner have to be in an exclusive and monogamous relationship. Anything breaking or dishonoring that social contract is cheating. For example, sexual intimacy is a part of an exclusive relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is sleeping with you while they’re secretly pursuing another relationship at the same time, it’s cheating.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, you might accuse them of it or get all paranoid about it. Before you jump the gun and make accusations, take the time to really see if your partner is cheating. Here are some common signs to look for:

Cheating Sign #1
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has made some drastic changes to his or her appearance, but he or she doesn’t care whether you notice it or ask questions. You see an alluring new hairstyle, an entirely overhauled wardrobe with sexy and stylish outfits, spending long hours in the gym or beauty salon, etc. It’s all on display for someone else’s viewing pleasure. Remember, if you compliment your partner for his or her new looks, and they deflect or downplay it, be careful. It might be that your partner is simply sprucing up his or her act, or it may be to impress someone else. It can go either way.

Cheating Sign #2
Your significant other gives vague or evasive answers to simple questions. If you notice that your partner is getting all defensive or sensitive when you ask him or her their whereabouts, or any other information, it’s safe to say that this person is hiding something from you. They’re also afraid that things will become bad if it gets exposed.

Cheating Sign #3
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has become secretive. You feel disconnected from certain aspects of your partner’s life. What’s worse is that you want to know about those certain aspects. And what happens next is pretty natural: you get suspicious. Secrets arouse suspicion.

Cheating Sign #4
You notice your partner is less interested in being physically intimate or having sex with you. This particular development should be analyzed with plenty of caution. Many factors might cause a drop in a person’s libido, such as anxiety, insomnia, stress, hormonal imbalances, health problems, and so on. It could also be that your boyfriend or girlfriend is losing interest in the relationship. It is this sign that you should keep your eyes peeled.

Infidelity is common when you’re in a committed, romantic relationship. So, if you’re dating someone and you feel suspicious that your boyfriend or girlfriend may be cheating, don’t waste any time, and have a direct conversation with him or her and expect direct answers about what’s really happening.

Preventing Emotional Infidelity in Relationships

Emotional infidelity happens when you or your significant other is emotionally attracted or connected with someone outside the realm of your relationship. But just how precarious can emotional infidelity be in a committed relationship or marriage? The truth is, emotional infidelity can be really alarming. It can take away time and energy from the marriage. If left unaddressed, it can lead to sexual infidelity, and ultimately destroy the marriage or the relationship.

Emotional infidelity is an outcome of preexisting problems within a marriage. This happens when couples aren’t emotionally and physically intimate with their partners in their current relationship, and each person is vulnerable to some infidelity. It can be either physical or emotional. So, instead of blaming the affair for all the problems in your relationship, why not take care of the primary issue in the first place?

People find emotional infidelity irresistible as it’s very easy to be intimate with a person with whom we have no shared responsibilities like money issues, children or chores. We feel comfortable to share our deepest feelings, thoughts, and fears with someone we have no personal conflicts with or shared interests. In other words, it’s an easy way of not dealing with the real issues at hand. If continued, this emotional infidelity will jeopardize your marriage, and eventually will lead to a divorce. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, the relationship won’t result in a marriage. You will end up with the same problems that you had before being in a committed relationship or getting married. So, why waste your time? Why not resolve the problems now?

The primary issue that leads to emotional infidelity is an emotional disconnect between partners. Emotional distance or disconnect occurs because there are deeper issues within the relationship. These problems might be:

1. One or both partners want to control the relationship through anger, blame, and criticism.

2. One or both partners want to control the relationship by care taking. This is done by one person taking care of their wants and needs and taking responsibility for the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

3. One or both partners want to control the relationship by withdrawing and resisting being controlled by the other person.

4. One or both partners don’t want to take any emotional responsibility for his/her feelings of happiness, joy, and pain. Both partners have abandoned themselves emotionally. They’re self-bashing, making the other partner responsible for their feelings, and ignoring their own emotions through addictions.

All the above problems grind down the love in your relationship making you disconnected from your significant other and lonely in the relationship. This is the perfect situation for emotional infidelity to manifest and thrive. These patterns, under general circumstances, don’t usually show up early in a relationship or when you’re in an emotional or physical affair.

These patterns also don’t disappear when you embark on a new relationship. These patterns will again return, when your new relationship is on the path to becoming a committed and exclusive relationship. If you’re thinking of dating someone, take responsibility of your own feelings, and your ability to love and care for someone genuinely. It’s only you that can prevent your wonderful relationship from being hijacked by emotional infidelity.

5 Ways To Walk Away After Your Partner Has An Affair

If you've found that your partner has been cheating on you, it's time to move on and find a real relationship. Whether the love affair is one-sided or mutual, being in a relationship with a cheater hardly works out in your favor in the end. It brings nothing except sadness and pain. Once you’ve determined that remaining in the relationship with someone who cheated on you is only going to give your more pain and make your life more complicated, that relationship needs to end.

Here are five steps that will help you walk away from your relationship after your partner has had an affair:

1. Find A Distraction

Fall in love with someone, of course, a single and available one. Get out of there and explore other possibilities. It’s hard ending a relationship with someone you’re still in love with, but it can be easy if you get involved in another relationship because it will work as a distraction.

2. Start Asking For Money

While in the relationship, if you’ve never actually asked for gifts or money, now is the time to start asking. When you ask, ask for more. Though he might conform to your requests, he’ll consequently get annoyed with your constant requests. This will create a rift in the relationship, which is what you want to happen. In the meantime, save all money for a rainy day when the relationship finally ends.

3. Spend More Time Together

This is another tactic to deploy if there is a possibility. Consider spending more time with your boyfriend. The more time you spend together, the better. Most people tend to show their best sides if someone spends brief periods of time with them. Therefore, spend a few days with him, and you might get surprised at how little you actually like him. Allow yourself to experience all those small things that annoy you, and don’t hesitate to argue with him about it.

4. Show Your Bad Side

Stop being the nice girl and show your bad side. Your partner has only seen your good side, and he too has only shown you his good side. Now the moment has arrived to let it all hang out. Cry, shout, yell, nag, complain, and expect more from him. Take all of this as an act, and do it as though this is a healthy relationship. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly Mr. Perfect loses his cool and shows his real personality. You’ll start wondering how come you ever fell in love with him in the first place.

5. Love Yourself

Regardless of if you’re looking for a date or already in a relationship, fall in love with yourself. This is crucial when it comes to dating and relationships. Ask yourself why you’re still in love the person who had the affair and betrayed your trust. Remind yourself  that you’re worthy of a real and loving relationship.

Why Monogamous Relationships Aren’t Natural

What is a monogamous relationship? In short, a monogamous relationship is where two people aren’t pursuing other partners romantically. Contrary to an open relationship, couples in monogamous relationships must be faithful, committed and respectful to each other. So what is the fuss about monogamous relationships not being natural?

When it comes to monogamous relationships, some people assume that “monogamy” and “sex” can’t be mutually exclusive. Monogamous couples admit that they are often teased by people asking how are they feel comfortable having sex with a single man or woman for the rest of their lives. Yes, having sex with your partner for a long time can become boring, routine and less enjoyable than the time you both first started dating. The truth is monogamous relationships can work for some people and not for others. It all depends on their personal preferences.

Often, people feel a sense of romanticism when they think about monogamy. Being in a relationship with someone who knows you very well inside and out, both emotionally and physically, for the rest of your life is a beautiful thought. Besides, being romantically involved with one person makes life simpler and a lot less stressful. But just how natural does monogamy feel? Is it possible to be in a monogamous relationship for an extended period of time?

Well, science tells us it’s not. And here are the reasons for it:

Men and women lose interest in sex over time.

Women lose interest in sex faster than men. You can make an effort to spice things up with sexy lingerie or sex toys, but science tells us that ladies can’t hold up their sexual desire for the long-term. Various research show that there is a tendency for women to be more compassionate instead of being passionate when it comes to love. This means the relationship becomes more of a platonic friendship than a romantic relationship. Meanwhile, a man’s sex drive also suffers in monogamous relationship. One of the primary reasons is that there tends to be more conflicts in a long-term marriage or relationship which hinder sex. However, when a man finds a new partner, sexual excitement returns to normal.

Men and women naturally want to cheat.

People’s monogamous behavior relies on hormones and receptors that the brain releases and these hormones and receptors vary from person-to-person. This is the reason why we see some men and women have a higher tendency to cheat than others. So, if your girlfriend has cheated on you, it’s relatively safe to say it will be challenging for her to stay in a monogamous relationship. But, don’t panic or get disappointed, it’s possible that she might come back to you because she loves you.

Monogamous relationships affect a woman’s best years of sex.

Perhaps you already know that a guy’s sex drive reaches its prime in their 20's, while for women it’s in their 30's and 40's. Moreover, it’s scientifically proven that women who are in monogamous relationships during these prime years have low libido, when in reality it’s during these years they should be having the best sex of their lives!

The Surprising Reason People Are Cheating More Than Ever

Despite the fact that cheating is an extremely frowned upon act, we are cheating more than ever before. It’s like we have entered a “Golden Age” of cheating. Ask any of your friends, co-workers, and even your existing girlfriend, if they have cheated on someone before. They will all probably tell you they didn’t. But, it’s also likely that they are lying. The truth is that cheating is way more common than you think. How common is it you may ask?

According to Andrea Miller, author of the book Radical Acceptance: The Secret To Happy, Lasting Love, in partnership with Ashley Madison, is trying to find an answer. They surveyed more than 1,300 people to get a clear picture of the current state of relationships and marriage across the world, and the results are truly fascinating. The survey revealed that 64 percent of individuals had been victims of cheating.

So what’s the deal? Why are people unfaithful? The survey showed that 51 percent of people think people cheat because of superficial reasons. They said that people cheat on their partners because they want more sex or just find cheating exciting. But the real cause of individuals committing infidelity is a bit more complicated than that. The results of the survey showed that 65 percent of respondents admit that mutually satisfying sex is essential for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. That's fine by all means, but here's where it gets interesting. The survey unveiled that 85 percent of respondents said that they want to have sex multiple times a week when they are in a relationship. However, only 38 percent actually have sex that many times, according to the survey. So, that means a lot of couples who are married or in a relationship are having unsatisfactory sex.

That’s not all. There are other reasons people cheat and it’s more than sex. Sure, sex is important, but the emotional connection in the relationship is much more important. The topic of emotional connection becomes a priority when a couple is thinking about getting married or hoping to take their relationship to the next level. But things are dim here. According to the survey, sadly, only 49 percent of participants are emotionally well-off in their current relationship.

Relationship expert Charles J. Orlando said that one of the primary reasons for women cheating on their husbands or boyfriends is lack of attention from their partners and contentment. Charles also said that he found women telling him they cheated on their spouses because they felt emotionally and physically unsatisfied. They were looking for passion and physical satisfaction and their partners failed them in that department. They feel lonely, less valued, less desired, and their partners won’t touch, talk or have sex with them.

Another form of cheating is an emotional affair. Men and women, who are not experiencing physical intimacy in their relationship, will have a physical affair. When they are not experiencing emotional intimacy in their relationship, they will have an emotional affair. The survey reported that 25 percent of individuals don’t feel sexually satisfied in their relationships or marriages, and 27 percent are left emotionally unfulfilled. This demonstrated that emotional connection is crucial to prevent cheating and are key to a healthy and fulfilling relationship or marriage.

Infidelity Isn’t the Problem – It’s the Outcome of the Problem

Most people have a strong belief that if someone truly loves and cares for their partner, he or she will not cheat on them. These people also think cheating should be the ultimate reason to end a relationship or marriage. There shouldn’t be any second chances or forgiveness when it comes to infidelity, despite what a lot of relationship counselors or therapists say. For most couples, cheating is the ultimate way to break the promise of being monogamous to each other. With that said, many people keep asking the age-old question, “Why do men cheat?” “Why do women cheat?” Answering these two questions isn’t easy.

Cheating doesn’t come naturally. Most people don’t plan or decide to cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends/partners all of a sudden. Sure, we will admit that there are people who will cheat in all of their relationships and marriages. In this case, it’s not your problem. But, some events will compel a person to cheat on their spouses.

Before that, let’s make one thing clear: there is no excuse to cheat on your partner. There are many reasons why people commit infidelity. It might be that there has been a lot of miscommunication or distrust in the relationship for a long time. It may be that one partner has been frustrated or depressed about something, but hasn’t talked about it properly to the other partner. Or, perhaps, it might be they have already expressed the issue to them and there hasn’t been any effort to address it. Another reason why people cheat is because of a physical challenge or an ailment that is causing some sexual problems. People also cheat on their spouses if they are in long distance relationships or have been apart from one another for a long time. These are some of the main issues, and cheating is simply the outcome of it.

Let’s consider a normal relationship where the couple sees each other frequently and there aren’t extreme situations. What will happen if one of the partners cheats? Should they forgive each other and work on their relationship? Or should they end the relationship and move on? What would the correct advice be? Some people will say that the relationship is over. Some folks will tell the couple to work on their communication and other issues in the relationship. Some people will advocate giving the relationship a second chance. All of the following advice seems rational; who knows? The relationship might survive after all. But, before that, let’s tell you why people cheat. Cheating occurs when you start hiding things from your partner that you don’t want them to know about.

The fact is that if someone allows things to become so bad in their relationship that they act out with infidelity, then there are some issues that are more complicated than communication issues. No mature adult will think of cheating on his or her partner to get away from a problem or skip a discussion. He or she should have the integrity, courage, dignity, and respect for themselves and sit down with their partner and have a conversation about their frustrations in their relationship. If they can’t do that, then they should consider terminating the relationship.

5 Things All Couples Should Do To Avoid Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most unfortunate and heartbreaking incidents in a marriage or committed relationship. Infidelity is also one of the primary causes of relationships ending. You need to protect your marriage or relationship from infidelity. But, you also need to realize that you can heal from infidelity and there are many couples who have made their relationships stronger after a cheating scandal. With that said, being faithful to your girlfriend or spouse has many advantages. These advantages are that you don’t feel anxious or guilty about your secrets, you feel intimate with your partner, and you focus on increasing the intimacy, both physical and emotional.

So, what can you do to never cheat on your spouse? Below are the five rules of fidelity and if you follow these rules, you can resist your temptations and lead a happy, faithful, long-term relationship.

1. Spend more time together.

This is a no-brainer. The more quality time you spend with your girlfriend or committed partner, the more intimate you will be with her. Spend ten quality minutes (at least) with your partner. It’s not a lot of time, but it’s enough for the both of you to focus on each other’s feelings, emotions, and desires. These ten minutes are also enough for you two to be physically affectionate with each other. And one more thing – do this every day!

2. Talk about the tough stuff with each other.

Communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Talk about things with your partner that are difficult, even if it hurts her feelings. This approach will reveal the more sensitive details of your personality and will let your partner know who you really are as an individual.

3. Instill trust in your partner.

If you want or need to talk to someone of the opposite sex, let your partner know about it. Also, make sure your partner gets to meet this person later. If the person you are meeting insists on meeting against your spouse's wishes, let this person know that you are unwilling to meet him or her alone. It is a sign that the other person has no respect for your committed relationship.

4. Communicate when you are apart.

If you need to travel out of the city or country for business or another purpose for a few days or longer, contact your partner frequently. Also, while you are traveling, don’t drink too much or use illegal drugs as these might cloud your judgment.

5. Think about the long-term consequences of cheating.

If you are having thoughts about cheating on your partner, take some time and think about the consequences of infidelity. Now, compare them with the benefits of being faithful. Sure, you might have some temporary pleasure if you cheat, but thinking beforehand of the long-term consequences of cheating will help to let go of your temptation. The main purpose of being faithful to your partner is to create a happy, healthy, balanced and passionate, long-term relationship. Remain focused on that goal and don’t let others or your temptation drive you to commit infidelity.

The Overlooked Victim: Why Infidelity Can Be Painful for the Cheater

When it comes to infidelity in a relationship, the person who was betrayed isn’t the only victim. The pain of infidelity hurts both parties in the relationship. Most people feel that the person who was cheated on feels the most pain. However, that isn't always true. Everyone close to the couple feels saddened by the betrayal. This includes their kids, families and close friends. Often overlooked, cheating hurts the cheater too. You're probably wondering how that is even possible. The partner who cheated did so willingly and knew what the consequences would be. How could they be hurt?

The reality is this: Infidelity in a committed relationship hurts the cheater too. The effects are profound. Their actions hurt their partner first and foremost, but it also hurts them. Their marriages and all of their other important relationships have been affected, and in some cases ruined. Sure, cheating feels thrilling at the beginning, but infidelity ultimately has a negative impact on the cheater. It’s not uncommon to see cheaters feeling ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxious, regretful, self-loathing, confused, and embarrassed. All of these feelings make them contemplate how their selfish actions have negatively impacted the people around them. They feel guilty and embarrassed that they cheated on their partner. They keep asking themselves why they cheated on their spouse in the first place. When they think about the actions and experience the negativity associated with their actions, they feel the judgement and ridicule that comes with those actions.

For the cheater, their emotions will become an emotional roller coaster. During infidelity, the cheater is living two separate lives. In one life they enjoy the addictive ecstasy of love, while in the other life they feel the self-loathing and shame that comes with betraying their partner. Living these two lives puts a lot of stress on themselves and on their relationships. While their partners may not know what is going on initially, they will find out that sooner or later. Once the partner discovers the infidelity, the cheater will begin living with the consequences of their betrayal.

The betrayed partner continues lashing out at the cheater both directly and indirectly. The cheater will continue to bear the brunt of their partner’s anger and distrust, and if this keeps on happening, it can become abusive. This can become incredibly stressful for the cheating partner. Some cheaters will say it’s their partner who forced them to cheat and they will deny any accountability. On the other hand, some cheaters take full responsibility of the cheating, accept the punishment and continue loathing themselves for the rest of their lives. Besides their partners, other people in the cheater’s life will also continue to look down on them for what they did. Everyone from parents, friends and co-workers will now have an unfavorable opinion of the person who cheated.

The bottom line is this: When someone is unfaithful to their partner, it is easy to write that person off as a cheater and feel no empathy for them. However, we all make mistakes. It is important to recognize that even for the partner who cheated, there will be pain and shame after infidelity.