Tag Archives: dating advice

Facing Your Fears: 4 Dating Tips For People With Social Anxiety

Dating can be incredibly stressful for anyone. Now imagine how stressful it is if you have social anxiety! People with social anxiety get incredibly nervous and anxious in certain social situations, which makes things like dating very difficult. Things that may seem easy to the average person can seem like a daunting task to them when it comes to dating. With that said, you cannot let social anxiety keep you from dating. To help out, we've got four great dating tips for people with social anxiety. Check them out here:

1. Acknowledge the Problem

Denial is no way to approach a problem. If you struggle with social anxiety, you need to acknowledge it. This doesn't mean you have to disclose it to any potential partners right away. It just means that you have to acknowledge it to yourself. Recognize that because of your anxiety, you're going to feel uncomfortable in certain social situations. This will help you figure out how to address your feelings.

2. Don't Avoid Dating

Perhaps the most important dating tip for social anxiety is to actually date! You may feel like it's too scary to start dating, but you cannot let this stop you from going out. Avoidance is a symptom of social anxiety and it doesn't help the situation. It will only make your anxiety even worse. You have to confront your anxiety head-on and jump right in to the dating scene!

3. Don't Be Afraid To Take Small Risks

Dating is going to involve certain risks. There will be times you feel uncomfortable. Now, we are not suggesting you do anything that puts yourself in danger. If you feel unsafe with someone or in a certain situation, you should leave it. We're talking about confronting minor discomforts. For instance, some people feel uncomfortable eating around potential partners. This is an anxiety issue that needs to be conquered! Consider this a “small risk” that you can tackle. The more you face certain discomforts, the less they'll be able to affect you.

4. Be Prepared For Failure

It sounds harsh, but this is reality. All of us experience failure and rejection when it comes to dating. While most of us can bounce back from it smoothly, people with social anxiety have a harder time. You may feel like you're done with dating after one failure, but you shouldn't be! Dating is full of up's and down's for everyone, and this needs to be realized. Once you can accept that dating is going to involve some failures and rejections, you'll be prepared to conquer whatever comes your way.

Social anxiety

Older and Wiser: 40 Pieces of Relationship Advice From Seniors

We could all use a little help sometimes, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. We often go to friends for relationship advice, but maybe there's a better group of people we should be asking. Our elders are the wisest, because they've been through it all already! Certainly they've got the best words of wisdom when it comes to love. We've gathered 40 pieces of relationship advice from seniors that you'll want to take to heart! Check them out below:

  1. Always be a good listener.
  2. Take responsibility for your actions.
  3. Never try to control your partner.
  4. Don't complain about your partner to your friends and family.
  5. Love is not just a feeling. It's a choice.
  6. Don't blame your partner for your own shortcomings.
  7. Give love to receive love.
  8. Let love come to you. Don't search for it all the time.
  9. Ladies, don't chase after a man. Let him chase after you!
  10. Avoid jealousy at all costs.
  11. Smile every chance you get.
  12. Actions speak louder than words. Show your partner you care.
  13. Looks will fade, so make sure there is something more.
  14. Always keep your word.
  15. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
  16. Passive aggressive behavior will always backfire on you.
  17. Take time for yourself after a breakup.
  18. Don't forget to spend time with your friends.
  19. Make family a priority.
  20. Love yourself before you love someone else.
  21. Don't obsess over exes or previous relationships.
  22. Don't expect someone else to save you.
  23. Setting your expectations too high will only hurt you.
  24. Do little things every day to show your partner you care.
  25. Be generous with compliments.
  26. Don't be afraid of rejection.
  27. Show your vulnerable side.
  28. Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner.
  29. Always be honest and faithful.
  30. Be open with your partner about your fears and insecurities.
  31. Practice empathy and kindness at all times.
  32. Don't let bad habits ruin your relationship.
  33. Go out of your way to keep the passion alive.
  34. Change things up every so often.
  35. Don't compare your relationship to other couples.
  36. Pick your battles.
  37. Show your partner respect even when they're not around.
  38. Don't play games with your partner.
  39. Support your partner through hard times.
  40. Remember that things won't always be easy.

senior dating

Ladies Know Best: 8 Relationship Tips From Women to Men

Most men like to think they know it all, but ladies know that just isn't the case! Love and relationships is an area where men often struggle, and women can lend a helping hand. We've got eight great relationship tips from women to men:

1. It's Okay to Be “Uncool”

The first of our relationship tips from women is to not worry about being “uncool”. You don't have to jump through hoops to portray a certain image to a woman. If you consider yourself a nerd and like comics, that's great! Don't hide these things, because the perfect woman for you is one who has these “uncool” things in common with you.

2. Remember the Little Things

It's important to never forget the little things in a relationship. Things like bringing her flowers or calling her at the end of the night may seem like small gestures to you, but they mean a lot to her. If you start neglecting and forgetting this little things, she's going to become detached.

3. Honesty Above All Else

Being honest is the biggest of the relationship tips from women. You should always be honest with your girlfriend or wife. If you're consistently lying and she cannot trust you, then it will be nearly impossible for your relationship to continue. Trust is what will drive your relationship forward and make it last.

4. Be Yourself

This is one of the most important relationship tips from women. You must always be yourself. Don't get caught up trying to impress her by being something that is not true to who you are. Also, if a woman wants you to change and be something you aren't, she's not the right woman for you.

Relationship Tips

5. Show Your Emotions

So many men are hung up on the idea that showing emotion is not manly. This is a myth. Women appreciate a man who is in tune with his emotions and is not afraid to show them. Let your girlfriend know how you feel and don't be afraid to be emotional in front of her.

6. Take Charge

Women like men who can take control in a situation. This doesn't mean you should be a control freak and dominate your entire relationship. It just means that you should be able to make decisions and call shots when it's necessary.

7. Be A Friend to Her

If you want a lasting relationship, you need to be your girlfriend's friend in addition to her partner. Be someone who she can turn to when she needs to talk. Be a shoulder she can cry on. Your girlfriend should be able to call you her boyfriend as well as her best friend.

8. Give Her Space

Sometimes women just need a little space. You can't be clingy all the time or contacting her all the time. If you're always with her or checking in on her, it will only drive her away. Trust in her and let her have time to herself when she needs it. This will only strengthen your bond.

Relationship Advice

Looking For Love Online: 10 Useful Tips For Online Dating

Online dating can be stressful and intimidating. It's hard to figure out what to say on your dating profile, what pictures to include, etc. If you make one mistake, it can send potential suitors running – or scrolling – away from you. We want to help you out on your quest for online love, so we've put together ten great tips for online dating:

1. Don't Brag About Yourself

Obviously you want to make yourself sound appealing, but you don't want to come off as a narcissist. It's okay to mention some achievements that you're proud of, but if your profile is just a resume of everything notable you've ever done, it becomes bragging.

2. Use Multiple Photos

It's important to use multiple photos on your dating profile. If you only have one photo, or even worse no photo, you look a little suspicious. Having only one photo makes you look like you're being shady and trying to hide what you look like.

3. Don't Be Too Vague

One of the more important tips for online dating is to be specific when talking about yourself. For instance, rather than saying “I love music”, you should mention what genres of music you like. This will give people a better idea of who you are.

4. Be Positive

No one likes a negative Nancy. If your dating profile is full of cynicism and negativity, people will quickly overlook you. Be positive on your profile and more people will be drawn to you and want to get to know you.

5. Don't Air Your Dirty Laundry

Keeping your dirty laundry to yourself is one of the most important tips for online dating. You'll quickly scare away any potential suitors if your profile is full of personal and private stories. So if there's any skeletons in your closet, keep them there.

Tips for Online Dating

6. Keep Innuendos to a Minimum…

…or maybe don't use any at all? Sexual innuendos aren't funny. They're just awkward and creepy. If you're just looking for sex, there are other places to do that. Mentioning sex of making sexual jokes on your dating profile will ruin your chances of finding a substantial relationship.

7. Be Honest

This should go without saying. Do not lie on your dating profile! Lying on your dating profile will not work out in your favor. People will get involved with you because of who they think you are, not who you actually are.

8. Don't Take Rejection Personal

You're going to get rejected when you're doing online dating, It's part of the process. It's helpful to not take any rejection too personal. Getting down about being rejected will only make you feel defeated and want to give up the whole dating scene.

9. Be Open Minded

When looking for a partner online, you need to have an open mind. You're going to see lots of different people, and not all of them will be exactly what you're looking for. It's worth giving some of these people a chance. You may like them once you get to know them!

10. Stay Safe

The most important of all the tips for online dating is to always stay safe. It's hard to read people online and you never know if someone is actually who they say they are. If you get a bad feeling about someone, or something doesn't seem right, don't do it.

Online Dating Advice

Is He Into You?: 7 Foolproof Ways to Tell Your Date is Into You

We all know that people are hard to read. It's especially hard to read someone when you're on a date. You're wondering: “Does he like me? Am I annoying him? Does he want to see me again?” These questions can be stressful and agonizing, ultimately ruining your date. Fortunately, you can stop the worrying. We've got seven foolproof ways to tell that your date is into you. Check them out here:

1. He Actually Finishes the Date

This is the first sign that your date is into you. If he actually finishes the date and doesn't ditch you halfway through, you're obviously doing all right. Don't get carried away with this one, though. He may have just finished the date to be polite. Read the rest of our signs to see if he's really into you.

2. The Date Becomes Longer Than Expected

It's midnight when you planned on being home at ten! This is a big sign that the date is going well. If he keeps finding reasons or making excuses to not go home, he's obviously enjoying spending time with you (or he's homeless). If he wasn't into you. he would've run away at the first chance.

3. He Asks For Another Date

This is a definite, absolute sign that your date is into you. Asking for another date will never happen if someone is not interested. So if he asks to see you again, it means he liked you and wants to get to know you more.

4. He Wants Time Alone With You

If your date suggests you leave the crowded bar and move to a more quiet destination, he probably wants to get to know you better. If a guy isn't into you, he'd never want to spend alone time with you. So if he asks to see you one-on-one, look at this as a good sign.

5. He Follows Up With You Soon After the Date

This is an important thing to look at when wondering is your date is into you. If he follows up with you relatively soon after the date, he obviously couldn't wait to speak to you. This means he's interested! Now, on the other hand, if he doesn't follow up for like three weeks, he's just not that into you.

6. He's Not Dating Anyone Else

This sign should go without saying. If your date is really into you, he'll stop seeing other people. If he's still playing the field, then you haven't made that big of an impression on him. He's still interested in seeing what's out there. Don't settle for being an option when you could be a priority.

7. He Plans a Thoughtful Date

Planning a thoughtful date is a big sign that someone is really into you. If a guy just takes you to the same restaurant he takes all his dates, he's not that interested. If he puts in some effort and fins out a specific place you'd like to go, he cares about what you like and that's a great sign that he's really into you.

How to Tell Date Likes You

4 Harsh Truths About Dating That Everyone Should Know

There are some brutally honest truths that most dating coaches will tell you, and yes they are telling you the truth. It makes sense when they say that an obese man will struggle to get attention online, a man with no social skills will not get a second date, or a chronically unemployed man will have a hard time finding a girlfriend. We can conceal these harsh truths to make people feel better, but that wouldn’t be of much help to them, right? The only way to help these men find a relationship is by telling them that they should stop calling women “picky” and “high-maintenance.” They should take responsibility for their own love life. The truth hurts, but it's better to face it head-on than to hide from it in fear.

Here are four harsh truths that men should know when dating:

1. Finding love requires effort.

Nothing in this world is effortless. Don’t believe someone if he or she tells you that you can manifest a girlfriend by just thinking about her in your room. You can’t have a date without meeting a woman, and meeting the right woman requires effort. You need to put effort into your appearance and your personality. You also need to step out of your comfort zone sometimes.

2. Dating becomes trickier as you get older.

I know most of you will say that it’s not fair…but it is true. There is little that can be done about it. As you age, you accumulate more baggage. The more baggage a person accumulates, the less desirable they become. It's hard to find a woman to go out with you when you have years of issues from previous relationships.

3. Men and women are equal…but still different.

Let’s be honest: most relationship experts admit that there are differences between men and women. However, you won’t find anyone telling smart, strong, successful men how to create a healthy, long-lasting relationship with smart, successful women. This needs to change, and there is one thing most of us don’t like to do – change.

4. Most people act selfish, but they're good at heart.

It’s easy for people to dish out relationship advice to others and validate their complaints about women without taking a closer look at the situation. Why? The answer is pretty simple. It’s easy and it keeps you out of trouble. Many relationship gurus are terrified of criticism. They are afraid people won’t watch their talk-shows or won’t buy their products. But, being honest is the bedrock of a healthy and lasting relationship or marriage. You should always tell the truth, even if it threatens your relationship. That doesn’t mean that you are selfish or heartless. It means that you love and care about your girlfriend so much that you want to be honest with her, even if it makes her upset.

Dating After Divorce: A Comprehensive Guide

After a divorce, your self esteem can be completely shattered and you may feel like you are doomed to a life of lonely solitude. You are not alone – and you are certainly not doomed to be alone forever. Consider the fact that about 30% of all marriages involve people who are remarrying. In fact, nearly half of divorced people will remarry within 5 years of divorce! To get to that point, these divorced people needed to start dating again. Continue reading

Dating Advice for Men

It doesn’t matter if you are new to dating, have been out of the dating scene for a while, or are just hoping to up your game, pretty much ALL men could use some dating advice. In fact, the men who need dating advice the most are usually the ones who are successfully dating. They get too comfortable with their dating style and fall into ruts of boringness and predictability (which leads to some pretty lackluster relationships!). So, here are some vital pieces of dating advice for men from women.

dating advice for men

The BAD Advice

Before we get into all of the dating advice which will improve your love life, it is absolutely essential to get all of the bad advice out of the way. And there is a LOT of bad advice out there for men!

Bad Dating Advice #1: Sleep with as Many Women as Possible

Apparently, this advice is so you can “get it out of your system” before you settle down with the right girl. Let’s be honest: it is never going to get out of your system (why do you think Viagra is so popular?). All sleeping around will do is increase your chances of getting a venereal disease (condoms don’t protect against everything genital warts and other forms of HPV).

By the way, sleeping around will NOT help you get better in bed. Men improve their lovemaking skills by being with one woman for long enough to learn things like where her g-spot is located and to get comfortable experimenting with new sexual positions.

Bad Dating Advice #2: Wait 3 Days before Calling

I blame the 90s movie Swingers for popularizing the stupid notion that you’ve got to wait a set amount of time before calling a girl. Supposedly, the 3 day rule will make her want you more because it shows you aren’t all that interested. Really, it will just piss her off.

Bad Dating Advice #3: Act Like You Aren’t That Into Her

The “3 Day Rule” for calling falls into this advice. Supposedly, women want what they can’t get. So, if you do things like wait to call her, blow off dates, or insult her (the infamous “neg” used by pickup artists), then she will be more into you.

Actually, this advice does have some truth to it. By acting like you aren’t so into her or insulting her, you prey on her low self esteem, so she might jump into bed with you. I guess that is fine if your goal is to have a one-night stand (read our guide on how to pick up girls). But, if you want to date a woman, this advice is going to hurt you more than help. You’ll just end up with girls who have serious confidence and self-esteem issues!

Bad Dating Advice #4: She’s Out of Your League

When you think about it, this dating advice is either ridiculously sexist or pathetic. It is sexist because it comes from the 1950s-era idea that a man has to be the breadwinner. He would feel emasculated by a woman who makes more money than him! Get over it or you will only be with losers instead of smart, confident and successful women.

Or, maybe you follow this advice because you have terrible self esteem and think that a super hot girl would never be into you. In the unlikely situation that she is interested in you, you’ll always have to worry about other guys hitting on her. Well, this is pretty pathetic! Don’t let your insecurities stop you from dating beautiful women!!!

Bad Dating Advice #5: Don’t Compliment Her

Apparently, you shouldn’t compliment beautiful women because attractive women are so used to getting compliments that it is verboten. The advice goes on to say that, if you do compliment a woman, then you should do it for something which she normally doesn’t get complimented on – like her shoulders or earlobes or something else stupid.

I agree with this advice, but only in the sense that you should never compliment a woman just to get into her pants. If the compliment is genuine (unlike complimenting her earlobes would probably be!), then it will have a positive effect. Oh, and don’t assume that pretty women know how attractive they are! They often don’t realize it and it will make them happy to hear a compliment.



The Best Dating Advice for Men

Now that we’ve got the bad dating advice out of the way, let’s get into the good advice that every man should be following if he wants to get and keep a woman.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

Too often we hear the advice “be yourself.” This is supposed to mean that you shouldn’t act like a phony, lie, or try to emulate Harrison Ford or some other douche.   But, somewhere along the lines, men translated “be yourself” into “don’t bother putting in any effort.”

Instead of being yourself, you should be the best version of yourself. This means getting out of those sweat pants you wear around the house and putting on a nice suit, taking the time to really groom yourself properly, and being on your best manners.

Also, it is okay to show you care about the date! Acting “nonchalant” by showing up to the date unshaved and without a plan for the evening will not do you any favors.

grooming advice for men



Dousing yourself in cologne does not count as grooming! Neither does taking a shower before your date (though this is part of it). Grooming means that all of your body is going to be appealing for a sexual encounter with a woman. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine was dating a guy and they ended up back at his place. He hadn’t bothered to cut his fingernails, which completely destroyed the foreplay. Obviously it was a big deal since my friend told me about it.

Guys, pay attention to the details. If you expect (or hope) that the date will end sexually, make sure to:

  • Brush and floss
  • Shave (a trimmed beard is okay, but a few days of stubble is going to feel like a porcupine when you kiss a girl!)
  • Shower and use a loofa or other brush to really scrub your body
  • Trim your pubic hair (not absolutely necessary but most women appreciate this)
  • Cut your fingernails and toenails
  • Avoid going overboard with the cologne; one squirt will do it
  • Use lip balm if your lips are chapped
  • Fix your out-of-control eyebrows, and trim nose hair if that’s a problem
  • WASH YOUR HANDS before foreplay begins!!!


Work on Your Confidence

Forget about rock hard abs or a bankroll the size of Montana. What women are really attracted to is confidence. Women are even attracted to ugly men, unsuccessful men, and overweight men, so long as they have confidence.

Do whatever it takes to get your confidence up! This can be as simple as talking to more women in social situations (see our post about how to meet women). It can mean joining a gym to get in shape. Consider getting a hobby. Even something as trivial as a joining a weekly hiking group will make your life more interesting and give you something to talk about.

While on the issue of confidence, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT SHE LIKES YOU! If you are in the middle of the date and start having doubts about how things are going, give yourself a pep talk, reminding yourself that she is into you. This will get your confidence up and that confidence will get her interest in you up!


Do Your Research before the Date

It might seem okay to “wing it” and see where the evening takes you but, without proper planning, the date will probably take you to a dead end. For example, if fail to make reservations at the nightclub and get turned away by the bouncer.

For first dates, find out some vital information before you plan the date. You wouldn’t want to take her to a steak house only to learn she is a vegetarian! You can straight-out ask her what types of things she likes to do, or which food she likes to eat. Or you can scout for clues on her Facebook profile or by asking her friends.

Always make sure to scout out a venue before you take a girl there on a date. That “cool hipster bar” might actually be a tavern frequented by aging drunks, or the “little bistro” might actually be an upscale restaurant.

dating advice

Don’t Go Anywhere Where You’ll Feel Uncomfortable

You want to impress her by taking her to a poetry reading, but you actually don’t know jack about poetry and being amongst all those turtleneck-wearing poets makes you feel awkward. You want to take her to a fancy restaurant, but you still don’t know how to properly knot a tie.

If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, you will have a hard time relaxing and focusing on your date. When you just start dating, it is generally best to stick to familiar ground for your dates. Forget the swanky new place which opened up. Take her to your local hangout. She will be impressed when the bartender greets you by name and you sit at “your” table.


Don’t Ever Talk about Your Ex

The absolute WORST thing you can do on a date is talk about your ex.   Yet, this somehow almost always ends up being a topic of conversation. Talking about your ex is a sign that you aren’t over her yet, and no girl wants to feel like she is in competition with another woman. Plus, I doubt you have a lot of good things to say about your ex, so the conversation will probably be bitter, depressing, creepy, or all of the above.


No “Nights In” Until Date 4

A night in can be a great date – like cooking dinner together and then watching a movie. But you probably shouldn’t have an at-home date until you’ve been dating for a while (after the 3rd or 4th date seems like a good standard). When women hear “night in,” they know it is code for a hookup. So, if you ask her to your place before the 4th date, she will think you are only interested in sex.


Call Her!

As I mentioned earlier in the bad dating advice, you should never follow some stupid 3-day rule for calling women. Just do what feels natural, whether it means calling her right after the date to say what a good time you had or waiting a few days to call and check in.

But remember, you should ALWAYS CALL HER AFTER A DATE– even if the date went bad and you don’t want to see her again. This is common courtesy and she will respect you more for this. If you really lack balls, then I guess it is okay to send a text instead, something along the lines of, “Thank you for a nice night out yesterday. I think you are great, but didn’t really feel much chemistry between us so I’d rather not go out again. All the best!”


Be Cautious about the Declarations of Love

I once went out with a Mexican guy who told me “te amo” after the first date. I burst out laughing when I heard this. Needless to say, he was shocked by my reaction, even after I explained that there was no possible way he could love me after 4 hours together. I’m pretty open-minded and I also chocked his declaration of love up to cultural differences. However, most girls probably aren’t as tolerant as me and get freaked out when they hear things like “I love you” or “you are the girl I’ve been searching for” after just a few dates.

Need some more help in the love department?  Check out the free Play It On Point guide here

Best Advice for Using Interracial Dating Sites

Considering that interracial dating was still illegal in many states not that long ago, it is surprisingly popular now. According to a study by InterracialMatch.com, nearly 83% of women fantasize about being in an interracial relationship and over 60% of them have exotic fantasies about being with a man of the opposite race. It isn’t just a sex thing either. Interracial marriage is at an all-time high. According to stats from a PEW poll, 8.4% of total marriages are between couples of different races, and 15% of new marriages are interracial.

interracial dating sites

In light of these stats, and the fact that online dating is now part of our society, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that there are many interracial dating sites which specifically match people of different races. If you are considering whether to get on an interracial dating website, here is some useful advice to help you have success.


General Dating Website or Interracial Dating Site?

Online dating is often described as a numbers game. The more members there are of your preferred sex, the better your chances of meeting your dream match.   Because of this, you might decide to choose one of the ultra-popular online dating sites like OK Cupid or Match.com.  They have millions of members whereas interracial dating sites usually only have a fraction as many.

However, you’ve also got to keep in mind that not everyone at these general websites is open to interracial dating. A recent study on data from a dating app found that women generally aren’t open to dating outside their race – unless it is with a white man. This is good news if you are a white guy, but bad new if you are Asian, Latin, or black.   If you are a black woman, you are really going to have a tough time on online dating as this group had the lowest response rate from all men. A study from OK Cupid found similar results.

interracial dating online stats

So, if you are a white guy, Asian woman, or Latina woman, go ahead and sign up for a general dating website. You won’t have any trouble finding interracial partners.

GQ has a great guide to picking an online dating site, which they sum up in this image:

how to choose a dating site


If you aren't a white guy or Asian or Latina woman and want to date outside your race, then you will probably have better luck signing up for an online dating website specifically tailored to interracial dating.

Some of the most popular interracial dating sites are:

  • Interracialmatch.com
  • Interracialcupid.com
  • Interracialdatingcentral.com
  • Interracialdating.com
  • Interracialromance.com


It Doesn’t Have to Be a Dating Website

Online dating used to have a stigma attached to it, but the taboo is so far gone that online dating is now part of our general culture. As of 2013, nearly 25% of Americans in the 25-34 age group have tried online dating. Still, if online dating websites aren’t your thing, it doesn’t mean you have to give up on the internet as a way of meeting people of the opposite race.

At last count, Meetup.com had 59 interracial singles groups found in 38 cities in 5 countries. There are also 146 interracial dating groups across the globe too.

interracial dating groups

Should You Mention Race?

On most online dating sites, they ask you to list your preferred race. They don’t ask you to list why you prefer that race though.

If you are on a general dating site, you might not need to bring up the race question – at least right away. Once you two have had a couple in-person dates, then you can ask questions like what their parents would think of them dating a person from another race.

If you are on a site specifically for interracial dating, then you might want to get the race question out there as soon as possible. Ask “why do you prefer dating ___ women/men?” It can be a good conversation starter. It is also a good way to weed out people who are seeking stereotypes or just trying to revenge their exes.


Choose Your First Date Spot Carefully

When meeting someone through online dating for the first time, you’ve got to choose the date spot really carefully. It needs to be someplace fun and conducive to conversation, but also relaxed and non-threatening. You know, in case you end up being a serial killer or something.

As if this weren’t difficult enough, you’ve got to keep the race factor in mind. After hanging out at interracial dating websites for a while, it is easy to forget that racism still exists. But, (as we talked about in our post about the truth about interracial dating), if take your interracial date to a country music concert, and you might get a lot of stares. This could easily ruin your date, so try to avoid anyplace which would cause you two to stand out from the crowd.

interracial date

Notice the amount of whiteness. This might not be the best place to take your interracial date!


Watch Out for People Seeking Stereotypes

As Halima Anderson points out at Date a White Guy, one of the drawbacks of interracial dating sites is that people are often seeking stereotypes (even if they don’t realize it).

If you are a black man, women might expect you to be a macho thug type.

If you are a Latin man, women will want you to be overly-passionate and a good dancer.

If you are a black woman, men will expect you to be naïve or a “strong mother” type.

If you are an Asian woman, men will expect you to be obedient and subservant…


And guess what happens when you don’t fit their stereotype? They don’t know what to do and go running!

Because of this, it is REALLY important that you get a phone number on interracial dating sites ASAP. This will save you from wasting your time on members who are only looking for stereotypes.


Watch Out for People Seeking “Someone Different from My Ex”

While you are at it, be on the lookout for people who just broke up with their ex and “want someone different.”

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because, in some cases, opposites attract. The person might be making the right move by trying to date someone different than the ex, even if it means intentionally stepping outside of racial boundaries to do so. Obviously the relationship with the ex didn’t work, so the person might be smart by moving on to new types of people.

But it could also be a sign that the person isn’t over their ex yet and is just using interracial dating as a rebound.   This is one reason why you might want to come out and ask why the person is specifically on an interracial dating website.


Don’t Talk About Your Ex (Or Ex’s Race)

The most important rule of dating is NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. No one wants to feel like they are being compared to an ex while on a date. Talking about your ex is also a big red flag that you aren’t over your ex yet.

With interracial dating, people tend to forget this rule. It is like they feel the need to list their “experience” like it’s a resume. No one cares that you’ve dated 5 black women, 4 Asians, and 2 Latinas! It will just make you sound like you are collecting dates of other races like trading cards.   Or, it will make you sound like a slut. Don’t do it.


Remember that Interracial Dating Can Be Tough

Whether you like it or not, the reality of interracial dating isn’t always pleasant. Be prepared for stares, stupid comments, and to have your relationship pigeonholed into a derogatory stereotype like “jungle fever.”   The good news is that, if you can handle these difficulties, you will be better prepared to handle the many other difficulties that come with any relationship.

interracial couple

Don’t Forget the General Online Dating Advice

Once you get on there, you will realize that online dating isn’t that much different from offline dating. However, you do need to follow some general advice. Mashable has some really good online dating tips, and AskMen has good advice on online dating profiles and pictures.

Here is an overview of what you need to keep in mind when getting started at interracial dating sites:

Profile Photo:

  • Your main profile picture should be of just you. It should show your face clearly (no sunglasses!) and ideally your body too.
  • Have someone else take the profile pic for you. If you absolutely must take a selfie, follow these selfie tips. Pay particular attention to the tip about not taking selfies in the bathroom!
  • Don’t overdo the photos. You will be judged based on your worst photo, not the best.
  • Always have one “interesting” photo in your profile, like you jet skiing or on top of a mountain.
  • Men: a picture of your penis is NOT a profile picture! While we are at it, leave your shirt on too.

Profile Description:

  • Write an intro that makes people want to learn more. There are some good examples here.
  • Avoid cliché terms like “optimistic” and “outgoing.” Instead, be specific! Use examples and action words (“Once hitchhiked through Europe” or “Start my day by going for a run than ruining it by eating a fatty donut”)
  • Get the length right. Too little information and people will be wary about contacting you. Too much information and you risk turning people off.

Making Contact:

  • Don’t wait for other people to contact you.
  • Don’t judge people based on the details of their profile. Look at the overall tone of the profile instead.
  • Don’t use form letters. Personalize each contact.
  • Always end each contact with a question which is relevant to the person.

Need help with dating in general?  Download the Play It On Point manual here.

Have you tried interracial dating websites?  We'd love to hear from you!