Tag Archives: dating tips

Facing Your Fears: 4 Dating Tips For People With Social Anxiety

Dating can be incredibly stressful for anyone. Now imagine how stressful it is if you have social anxiety! People with social anxiety get incredibly nervous and anxious in certain social situations, which makes things like dating very difficult. Things that may seem easy to the average person can seem like a daunting task to them when it comes to dating. With that said, you cannot let social anxiety keep you from dating. To help out, we've got four great dating tips for people with social anxiety. Check them out here:

1. Acknowledge the Problem

Denial is no way to approach a problem. If you struggle with social anxiety, you need to acknowledge it. This doesn't mean you have to disclose it to any potential partners right away. It just means that you have to acknowledge it to yourself. Recognize that because of your anxiety, you're going to feel uncomfortable in certain social situations. This will help you figure out how to address your feelings.

2. Don't Avoid Dating

Perhaps the most important dating tip for social anxiety is to actually date! You may feel like it's too scary to start dating, but you cannot let this stop you from going out. Avoidance is a symptom of social anxiety and it doesn't help the situation. It will only make your anxiety even worse. You have to confront your anxiety head-on and jump right in to the dating scene!

3. Don't Be Afraid To Take Small Risks

Dating is going to involve certain risks. There will be times you feel uncomfortable. Now, we are not suggesting you do anything that puts yourself in danger. If you feel unsafe with someone or in a certain situation, you should leave it. We're talking about confronting minor discomforts. For instance, some people feel uncomfortable eating around potential partners. This is an anxiety issue that needs to be conquered! Consider this a “small risk” that you can tackle. The more you face certain discomforts, the less they'll be able to affect you.

4. Be Prepared For Failure

It sounds harsh, but this is reality. All of us experience failure and rejection when it comes to dating. While most of us can bounce back from it smoothly, people with social anxiety have a harder time. You may feel like you're done with dating after one failure, but you shouldn't be! Dating is full of up's and down's for everyone, and this needs to be realized. Once you can accept that dating is going to involve some failures and rejections, you'll be prepared to conquer whatever comes your way.

Social anxiety


What A Guy Wants: 6 Dating Tips For Women From Men

Sometimes we all need a little help when it comes to relationships. There's no definitive way to know what's right or wrong when it comes to dating. With that said, a good way to get some insight is to find out what others think is okay and what is an absolute deal breaker. Women often struggle to figure out what men want, and the best way to find out is to ask men! To help you ladies out, we've got some dating tips for women from men.

1. Play It Simple

This is one of the easiest dating tips for women, because it requires doing less work. Guys like when you keep things simple. You don't have to go all-out for a date. You can keep things totally casual. Men actually prefer a casual date over a fancy date in an expensive restaurant.

2. Don't Assume You're Exclusive

When you've only been dating someone for a short time, never assume that you're exclusive. If you want to be exclusive, it needs to be explicitly said. Never assume that you and a new guy are on the same page unless you have a conversation about it. If you never say that you want to be exclusive, it's only going to lead to hurtful misunderstandings.

3. Keep Contact To A Minimum

One of the most important dating tips for women is to not overload someone with contact. Don't call him all the time. Don't text him constantly. Give him some space. If he wants to talk, he'll contact you. If you're incessantly calling, you're only going to annoy him and drive him far, far away.

4. Don't Hookup On the First Date

There's some debate surrounding this tip. Obviously most guys will want to hook up with you on the first date…but you still shouldn't do it. A lot of guys still have old-school ideas about girls that have sex on the first date. For these guys, a girl who does this is not girlfriend material. So, if you want to have a second date, it's better to just not hookup on the first one.

5. Recognize That All Men Are Different

A major tip is to remember that all men are different. If you've been burned by a guy in the past, don't hold it against any guys you date in the future. Don't expect your new beau to make the same mistakes your last one did. If you judge your new guy by how awful your old guy was, it's never going to work.

6. Be Yourself

Most importantly, always be yourself. Don't waste your energy trying to be someone you are not. If a guy doesn't like the person you are, then he's not the right guy for you. If you present yourself honestly and authentically, things will work out better for you in the long run.

Dating Tips


Times Have Changed: 5 Old Dating Rules You Need to Ditch

When it comes to dating, some people like to play by the rules. There are certain dating rules that seem to be as old as time. People are following rules that were made up decades ago, and then wondering why their love life isn't working out the way they had hoped. We are here to tell you that it's time to move forward! The dating scene has changed and so have the rules! We've got five old dating rules that you absolutely need to ditch:

1. Guys Always Making the First Move

Ladies, it is time to take the reigns! It is a whole new world out there, my friends. You no longer have to wait for men to make the first move. It is totally and absolutely okay for you to approach a guy you're interested in and ask him for a date. Back in the day, women would obsess over sending a guy signals, hoping to encourage him to ask them out. Thankfully, that's a thing of the past. If you like a guy, ask him out. In this new day and age, he'll find it attractive how forward and confident you are.

2. Setting Ridiculous Standards

This is definitely one of the old dating rules that has got to go! We're not saying you need to drop all your standards and settle for just anyone, but you do need cut people some slack. It's okay to have some basic standards, like a potential partner needing to have a job and a car. However, if your standards are that they're a doctor with a Mercedes, you need to reconsider how high you set the bar. If your standards are freakishly high, you need to evaluate what's really important to you and set new standards.

Dating Rules to Drop

3. Making Sure Their Friends and Family Like You

There's some skepticism surrounding this rule. Obviously you want your partner's friends and family to like you, but you don't need to bend over backwards to make that happen. It used to be that someone would jump through a million hoops to get the approval of their partner's friends and family. That's no longer the case, and rightfully so. If your partner's friends and family don't like you (for no good reason), then that's fine. You're not dating them. You should focus on how your partner feels about you, not how their friends and family feel.

4. Not Sleeping Together On the First Date

This is one of the old dating rules that we are so happy to do away with. Back in the day, if you slept together on the first date, well…there was a certain “image” it would convey. Fortunately, this idea seems to have died off over the years. In fact, it's actually considered practical to sleep with someone on the first date, because it shows you early on if you have sexual compatibility. If the sex is awful, you can bail on the situation before either person develops feelings.

5. Waiting Three Days to Contact Them After a Date

This has always been one of the dumbest dating rules, but so many people follow it! After a date, you don't want to come on too strong or seem desperate, so you wait at least three days to contact the other person. We want you to know: it is time to ditch this rule. This rule only confuses both people involved and makes you both think that the other person isn't interested. It turns into a stand-off of who will contact the other one first. Not only is this silly and childish, but stressful, too! So go ahead and contact the guy or girl you just went out with last night. Odds are they'll be glad to hear from you and it will lead to a second date sooner!Dating Rules Not to Follow


Is He Into You?: 7 Foolproof Ways to Tell Your Date is Into You

We all know that people are hard to read. It's especially hard to read someone when you're on a date. You're wondering: “Does he like me? Am I annoying him? Does he want to see me again?” These questions can be stressful and agonizing, ultimately ruining your date. Fortunately, you can stop the worrying. We've got seven foolproof ways to tell that your date is into you. Check them out here:

1. He Actually Finishes the Date

This is the first sign that your date is into you. If he actually finishes the date and doesn't ditch you halfway through, you're obviously doing all right. Don't get carried away with this one, though. He may have just finished the date to be polite. Read the rest of our signs to see if he's really into you.

2. The Date Becomes Longer Than Expected

It's midnight when you planned on being home at ten! This is a big sign that the date is going well. If he keeps finding reasons or making excuses to not go home, he's obviously enjoying spending time with you (or he's homeless). If he wasn't into you. he would've run away at the first chance.

3. He Asks For Another Date

This is a definite, absolute sign that your date is into you. Asking for another date will never happen if someone is not interested. So if he asks to see you again, it means he liked you and wants to get to know you more.

4. He Wants Time Alone With You

If your date suggests you leave the crowded bar and move to a more quiet destination, he probably wants to get to know you better. If a guy isn't into you, he'd never want to spend alone time with you. So if he asks to see you one-on-one, look at this as a good sign.

5. He Follows Up With You Soon After the Date

This is an important thing to look at when wondering is your date is into you. If he follows up with you relatively soon after the date, he obviously couldn't wait to speak to you. This means he's interested! Now, on the other hand, if he doesn't follow up for like three weeks, he's just not that into you.

6. He's Not Dating Anyone Else

This sign should go without saying. If your date is really into you, he'll stop seeing other people. If he's still playing the field, then you haven't made that big of an impression on him. He's still interested in seeing what's out there. Don't settle for being an option when you could be a priority.

7. He Plans a Thoughtful Date

Planning a thoughtful date is a big sign that someone is really into you. If a guy just takes you to the same restaurant he takes all his dates, he's not that interested. If he puts in some effort and fins out a specific place you'd like to go, he cares about what you like and that's a great sign that he's really into you.

How to Tell Date Likes You


Dating Advice for Men

It doesn’t matter if you are new to dating, have been out of the dating scene for a while, or are just hoping to up your game, pretty much ALL men could use some dating advice. In fact, the men who need dating advice the most are usually the ones who are successfully dating. They get too comfortable with their dating style and fall into ruts of boringness and predictability (which leads to some pretty lackluster relationships!). So, here are some vital pieces of dating advice for men from women.

dating advice for men

The BAD Advice

Before we get into all of the dating advice which will improve your love life, it is absolutely essential to get all of the bad advice out of the way. And there is a LOT of bad advice out there for men!

Bad Dating Advice #1: Sleep with as Many Women as Possible

Apparently, this advice is so you can “get it out of your system” before you settle down with the right girl. Let’s be honest: it is never going to get out of your system (why do you think Viagra is so popular?). All sleeping around will do is increase your chances of getting a venereal disease (condoms don’t protect against everything genital warts and other forms of HPV).

By the way, sleeping around will NOT help you get better in bed. Men improve their lovemaking skills by being with one woman for long enough to learn things like where her g-spot is located and to get comfortable experimenting with new sexual positions.

Bad Dating Advice #2: Wait 3 Days before Calling

I blame the 90s movie Swingers for popularizing the stupid notion that you’ve got to wait a set amount of time before calling a girl. Supposedly, the 3 day rule will make her want you more because it shows you aren’t all that interested. Really, it will just piss her off.

Bad Dating Advice #3: Act Like You Aren’t That Into Her

The “3 Day Rule” for calling falls into this advice. Supposedly, women want what they can’t get. So, if you do things like wait to call her, blow off dates, or insult her (the infamous “neg” used by pickup artists), then she will be more into you.

Actually, this advice does have some truth to it. By acting like you aren’t so into her or insulting her, you prey on her low self esteem, so she might jump into bed with you. I guess that is fine if your goal is to have a one-night stand (read our guide on how to pick up girls). But, if you want to date a woman, this advice is going to hurt you more than help. You’ll just end up with girls who have serious confidence and self-esteem issues!

Bad Dating Advice #4: She’s Out of Your League

When you think about it, this dating advice is either ridiculously sexist or pathetic. It is sexist because it comes from the 1950s-era idea that a man has to be the breadwinner. He would feel emasculated by a woman who makes more money than him! Get over it or you will only be with losers instead of smart, confident and successful women.

Or, maybe you follow this advice because you have terrible self esteem and think that a super hot girl would never be into you. In the unlikely situation that she is interested in you, you’ll always have to worry about other guys hitting on her. Well, this is pretty pathetic! Don’t let your insecurities stop you from dating beautiful women!!!

Bad Dating Advice #5: Don’t Compliment Her

Apparently, you shouldn’t compliment beautiful women because attractive women are so used to getting compliments that it is verboten. The advice goes on to say that, if you do compliment a woman, then you should do it for something which she normally doesn’t get complimented on – like her shoulders or earlobes or something else stupid.

I agree with this advice, but only in the sense that you should never compliment a woman just to get into her pants. If the compliment is genuine (unlike complimenting her earlobes would probably be!), then it will have a positive effect. Oh, and don’t assume that pretty women know how attractive they are! They often don’t realize it and it will make them happy to hear a compliment.

 

 

The Best Dating Advice for Men

Now that we’ve got the bad dating advice out of the way, let’s get into the good advice that every man should be following if he wants to get and keep a woman.

Be the Best Version of Yourself

Too often we hear the advice “be yourself.” This is supposed to mean that you shouldn’t act like a phony, lie, or try to emulate Harrison Ford or some other douche.   But, somewhere along the lines, men translated “be yourself” into “don’t bother putting in any effort.”

Instead of being yourself, you should be the best version of yourself. This means getting out of those sweat pants you wear around the house and putting on a nice suit, taking the time to really groom yourself properly, and being on your best manners.

Also, it is okay to show you care about the date! Acting “nonchalant” by showing up to the date unshaved and without a plan for the evening will not do you any favors.

grooming advice for men

 

GROOMING!

Dousing yourself in cologne does not count as grooming! Neither does taking a shower before your date (though this is part of it). Grooming means that all of your body is going to be appealing for a sexual encounter with a woman. Let me give you an example. A friend of mine was dating a guy and they ended up back at his place. He hadn’t bothered to cut his fingernails, which completely destroyed the foreplay. Obviously it was a big deal since my friend told me about it.

Guys, pay attention to the details. If you expect (or hope) that the date will end sexually, make sure to:

  • Brush and floss
  • Shave (a trimmed beard is okay, but a few days of stubble is going to feel like a porcupine when you kiss a girl!)
  • Shower and use a loofa or other brush to really scrub your body
  • Trim your pubic hair (not absolutely necessary but most women appreciate this)
  • Cut your fingernails and toenails
  • Avoid going overboard with the cologne; one squirt will do it
  • Use lip balm if your lips are chapped
  • Fix your out-of-control eyebrows, and trim nose hair if that’s a problem
  • WASH YOUR HANDS before foreplay begins!!!

 

Work on Your Confidence

Forget about rock hard abs or a bankroll the size of Montana. What women are really attracted to is confidence. Women are even attracted to ugly men, unsuccessful men, and overweight men, so long as they have confidence.

Do whatever it takes to get your confidence up! This can be as simple as talking to more women in social situations (see our post about how to meet women). It can mean joining a gym to get in shape. Consider getting a hobby. Even something as trivial as a joining a weekly hiking group will make your life more interesting and give you something to talk about.

While on the issue of confidence, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT SHE LIKES YOU! If you are in the middle of the date and start having doubts about how things are going, give yourself a pep talk, reminding yourself that she is into you. This will get your confidence up and that confidence will get her interest in you up!

 

Do Your Research before the Date

It might seem okay to “wing it” and see where the evening takes you but, without proper planning, the date will probably take you to a dead end. For example, if fail to make reservations at the nightclub and get turned away by the bouncer.

For first dates, find out some vital information before you plan the date. You wouldn’t want to take her to a steak house only to learn she is a vegetarian! You can straight-out ask her what types of things she likes to do, or which food she likes to eat. Or you can scout for clues on her Facebook profile or by asking her friends.

Always make sure to scout out a venue before you take a girl there on a date. That “cool hipster bar” might actually be a tavern frequented by aging drunks, or the “little bistro” might actually be an upscale restaurant.

dating advice

Don’t Go Anywhere Where You’ll Feel Uncomfortable

You want to impress her by taking her to a poetry reading, but you actually don’t know jack about poetry and being amongst all those turtleneck-wearing poets makes you feel awkward. You want to take her to a fancy restaurant, but you still don’t know how to properly knot a tie.

If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, you will have a hard time relaxing and focusing on your date. When you just start dating, it is generally best to stick to familiar ground for your dates. Forget the swanky new place which opened up. Take her to your local hangout. She will be impressed when the bartender greets you by name and you sit at “your” table.

 

Don’t Ever Talk about Your Ex

The absolute WORST thing you can do on a date is talk about your ex.   Yet, this somehow almost always ends up being a topic of conversation. Talking about your ex is a sign that you aren’t over her yet, and no girl wants to feel like she is in competition with another woman. Plus, I doubt you have a lot of good things to say about your ex, so the conversation will probably be bitter, depressing, creepy, or all of the above.

 

No “Nights In” Until Date 4

A night in can be a great date – like cooking dinner together and then watching a movie. But you probably shouldn’t have an at-home date until you’ve been dating for a while (after the 3rd or 4th date seems like a good standard). When women hear “night in,” they know it is code for a hookup. So, if you ask her to your place before the 4th date, she will think you are only interested in sex.

 

Call Her!

As I mentioned earlier in the bad dating advice, you should never follow some stupid 3-day rule for calling women. Just do what feels natural, whether it means calling her right after the date to say what a good time you had or waiting a few days to call and check in.

But remember, you should ALWAYS CALL HER AFTER A DATE– even if the date went bad and you don’t want to see her again. This is common courtesy and she will respect you more for this. If you really lack balls, then I guess it is okay to send a text instead, something along the lines of, “Thank you for a nice night out yesterday. I think you are great, but didn’t really feel much chemistry between us so I’d rather not go out again. All the best!”

 

Be Cautious about the Declarations of Love

I once went out with a Mexican guy who told me “te amo” after the first date. I burst out laughing when I heard this. Needless to say, he was shocked by my reaction, even after I explained that there was no possible way he could love me after 4 hours together. I’m pretty open-minded and I also chocked his declaration of love up to cultural differences. However, most girls probably aren’t as tolerant as me and get freaked out when they hear things like “I love you” or “you are the girl I’ve been searching for” after just a few dates.

Need some more help in the love department?  Check out the free Play It On Point guide here