There are so many difficult dilemmas when it comes to friendship and relationships. The intersection of the two can really lead to some tricky situations! One of the hardest problems to solve is deciding if you should still talk to your friend's ex after they breakup. Some friends see this as betraying them and feel that you should never communicate with their ex. However, we feel that there are some scenarios in which it is totally okay to still talk to your friend's ex. We're explaining those circumstances below:
1. You Were Friends With The Ex Before the Relationship
Let's say you were the one who set your friend up with the ex in question…because that ex was also a friend of yours. If you were friends with this person before their relationship with your other friend, then it's totally okay to stay friends with them now. You shouldn't have to choose between two friends just because their relationship didn't work out.
2. You Work With the Ex
This is a very specific, rare circumstance, but what if your friend's ex is one of your coworkers? You can't just ignore a coworker because they happen to be your friend's ex. If you want to keep things civil at your workplace, you'll have to stay friendly with this person regardless of what happened in their relationship with your friend.
3. You Became Friends With the Ex During the Relationship
Some people might argue with this idea, but we think that if you became friends with your friend's ex during their relationship, then you should be able to stay friends. We're not talking “Hi/Bye acquaintances.” We're talking about a meaningful friendship. If you developed a substantial friendship with this person, you should be able to stay friends with them in spite of whatever happened in the relationship.
There are a lot of controversial subjects when it comes to dating and relationships. One of the most debated topics is always, “Is it okay to date your friend's ex?” Just discussing this topic can end friendships! Here we are going to discuss why the answer to that question is both “yes” and “no”. Check out our explanation below…
Yes, It Is Okay To Date Your Friend's Ex…
It is totally okay to date your friend's ex under two different conditions:
- Your friend was not dating this person for very long or…
- You are not very close friends
So let us elaborate on these two things. Number one: Your friend was not dating this person for very long. What exactly is considered “not very long?” We consider anything less than one month to be not very long. While we admit that two, three, or even four and five months is not very long, we're going to keep this very conservative just to be safe. Two months may seem like a very short time, but it's long enough for a couple to start developing significant feelings. We think it is totally okay to date your friend's ex if they were together for less than one month. In one month, it is highly unlikely that your friend formed any significant or real connection with this person. This makes it far less upsetting for you to start seeing them! Number two: You are not very close friends. What exactly is considered “close friends?” Well, think about two factors: How long have you been friends with this person and how often do you talk to them/hang out with them? If you've been friends with this person for a few months, you're not close friends. It's okay to date their ex. Also, if this is a friend that you haven't seen or spoken to in over a year, it's okay to date their ex.
No, It Is Not Okay To Date Your Friend's Ex…
It is definitely not okay to date your friend's ex under these two different conditions:
- It has been a very close, long term friendship or…
- Their relationship was a very serious, long term relationship.
It is absolutely not okay to date your friend's ex if they are indeed your close, long term friend. What constitutes a close, long term friend? Well, this one you should just feel. You know when you are close friends with someone. You also know how long you have been friends with someone. If this is one of your best friends who you have known since childhood, it would be absolutely inconsiderate to date their ex. In fact, consider it the end of your friendship if you even try. The second thing is, how serious was the relationship between your friend and their ex? Were they together for several months to years? Were they living together? Were they engaged or even married? If the answer to any of those questions is “yes,” you cannot date their ex. The relationship was way too serious and involved significant feelings. It would be far too inconsiderate and disrespectful for you to start dating your friend's ex.