Divorce can be the hardest thing a person has gone through in their life. It's agonizing to see your marriage end. After all, you marry someone because you think you're going to be with them forever, right? Well, as awful as divorce may be, it doesn't mean your romantic life is over. Most people find love again after divorce, even if it's not easy. If you've just gone through a divorce and you're feeling down about ever finding love again, take a look at these twenty helpful tips about dating after divorce:
- It's okay to take some time before re-entering the dating scene. Don't dive in if you're not ready.
- Don't do anything you're not comfortable with – even if friends and family are pushing you to “get out there,” always do what feels right.
- Know exactly what you want. The only thing worse than getting divorced is getting divorced again. So know in advance what you want in a future partner.
- It's okay to feel insecure and be unsure of yourself.
- Don't let your past relationship weigh you down.
- Never settle for less than what you deserve.
- Don't take yourself too seriously. The past may have made you jaded, but remember that dating should be fun!
- The people you meet won't be perfect. Don't have unrealistic expectations of someone.
- Don't go into anything trying to make your ex jealous. Leave the past in the past.
- If you have children, be open with them about what is happening. Make sure they are comfortable with any changes that may occur in your life or theirs.
- Be aware of your own shortcomings. If there were mistakes you made in your marriage, own up to them and don't repeat them this time around.
- You may need some help and that's okay. If a friend or family member wants to set you up, give it a chance!
- Don't get too involved with anyone too fast.
- Don't be afraid to be vulnerable.
- Don't jump into bed with anyone new too quickly.
- Accept that the dating scene has likely changed since you were last in it. You may have to adapt a little!
- Technology is your friend (i.e. dating apps).
- Don't think that your next relationship will definitely work out. You may have to date several people before you find the next one you'll settle down with.
- Don't be concerned with what your ex is doing/how they're moving on.
- You will find love again!
Over half of all marriages will end in divorce. It's a sobering statistic, but it's the reality. We know that most marriages just don't work out, but in spite of all the relationship experts and marriage counselors in the world, the reasons that couples choose to get divorced is still poorly understood. While it's hard to determine exactly why so many marriages are ending, a major trend has appeared when it comes to who initiates the divorce and why they've made that decision…
Who is more likely to want a divorce, the husband or the wife? As it turns out, women are ones to ask for a divorce more than 80% of the time. Now that's a pretty hefty statistic! So why is it that women are more likely to make that final call and end their marriage? Are men more willing to fight for the relationship? The answer to that second question is “no.” Sure, there are plenty of men who fight to save their marriages, but that's not the reason so many divorces are initiated by women.
There are several reasons wives are typically the ones to ask for a divorce. The first reason is that men are more likely to screw up the relationship. Sorry guys, but you know it's true. Obviously women are capable of doing everything wrong in a relationship. Women can be unfaithful. Women can be abusive. Women can be neglectful. With that said, it's far more common for men to behave in these toxic ways. Men have been found to commit infidelity far more often than women. Men have also been found to be physically and emotionally abusive to their partners more often than women are. So when a guy cheats on his wife or abuses her, it only makes sense for her to want out of the relationship.
Another reason that women are more likely to want a divorce is directly correlated to a female's emotional needs. Most women have a natural urge to be supported, appreciated, and acknowledged. Men have these needs too, but they are rarely put in a position where they go without them, as women typically show their husbands all of these things without provocation. Men, on the other hand, can often be very dismissive of their wives. They have difficulty showing their appreciation to their wife or showing her how much she means to them. Many women can only tolerate this for so long and eventually decide to leave the marriage so that they can find emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
Obviously these generalized statements do not apply to every single man and woman on Earth. However, the statistics do speak for themselves. More women are asking for divorces than men are, and it seems to be that the reasoning is pretty clear. If you feel that your marriage is headed for divorce, take the time to speak to your partner and see if any of these issues are behind your marital trouble.