One of the trickier questions when it comes to relationships revolves around getting engaged. With the recent whirlwind romance of Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, many people are asking, “How soon is too soon to get engaged?” We're discussing the controversial topic right here!
Ariana and Pete got engaged after just a few weeks and the world erupted into a collective frenzy. Many people called it “nonsense” and “crazy.” Others called it romantic and said that “when you know, you know.” So who is right? Is it crazy to get engaged early on in a relationship? Or is it okay if you know that this person is the one? Here's what we think…
In the vast majority of cases, it's crazy to get engaged only a few weeks into a relationship. We would suggest that you date someone for at least a year before you get engaged, honestly. You just don't know someone well enough when you've only been dating for a few weeks or months. It's likely that you haven't even met their close friends or family yet. You may not even know basic things about them, like where they went to elementary school or what their favorite color is. These things aren't vital for a healthy marriage, but you do want to know the person you're going to marry! Getting engaged too early in a relationship usually leads to disaster because both partners didn't know each other well enough. They didn't know what the other person wanted in life. They didn't know what the other person liked or disliked. And in most cases, when you've only dated someone for a few weeks, you have an idealistic idea of them. During the early stages of a relationship, most people are on their best behavior and only show the positive aspects of themselves. If you get engaged too soon, this means that the realistic, sometimes problematic aspects of a person only come out once you're married.
With all that said, we will admit that there is one instance in which it is totally okay to get engaged early on in a relationship. It is totally okay to get engaged early on in a relationship if you were friends with your partner for a long time beforehand. This means that you do know the other person well. You have a history with them and you know their likes and dislikes. You have a pretty firm grasp of who they really are and you know what you are getting into. As far as we know, in the case of Ariana and Pete, they were friends before they started dating! Who knows how close their friendship was, but they obviously feel that they know each other very well. If that is the case, then we're totally on board with their engagement and wish them the best!
So you're thinking of proposing to your partner – or you have an idea that your partner may propose to you. Either way, getting engaged is a huge step to take in a relationship. It means that “holy matrimony” is on the horizon! While you obviously love your partner, and you probably think you know everything there is to know about them, there are some important questions to ask before getting engaged. There are certain, well, deal breakers you should know about before you exchanged those everlasting vows. You don't want to wait until after you're married to find out that you and your partner are on very different pages about some very important things. Before you decide to get married, check out these three important questions to ask before getting engaged:
1. Do You Want Kids?
This is undoubtedly the most important thing you need to know before marrying your partner. Many marriages have ended because one partner wanted kids and the other did not. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting kids (those pesky little devils can be so annoying, right?) There's also nothing wrong with definitely wanting kids (they enrich our lives in a way we could never imagine, right?) Before taking the next step, you need to know if you and your partner are in agreeance about having children. If not, it could mean the end of your marriage.
2. Where Do You Want To Live?
Where you're going to live is a huge decision you'll have to make once you get married. Do you want to continue living wherever you already are? Do you want to move somewhere new and start with a clean slate? Do you want to live in an apartment or a big house? Do you want to make sure that you live far, far away from your in-laws? These questions surrounding living quarters are very important and can make or break a marriage.
3. What Do You See For Your Career?
It's important to know what your partner has in mind for their career, if anything. Maybe they want to be a stay-at-home parent. Maybe they have huge ambitions and want to start their own business. It's also important to know what you want to do with your career. If your partner wants to be a stay-at-home parent, you'll have to be prepared to carry the financial stability in your household. This is something you need to know and agree to in advance, otherwise your marriage is headed for splitsville!
Weddings can be stressful and some brides end up turning into “bridezillas” when planning their weddings. We'd like to say: it doesn't have to be so hard! Many brides feel like there are certain rules or traditions they need to adhere to at their wedding, when the reality is that they can do whatever they choose! While it's totally okay to play by the rules and have a more traditional wedding, some women want to step outside the box. For those women, we've got five wedding rules every bride should break:
1. Keeping Things Classy, Not Fun
When it comes to weddings, there's a lot of pressure to keep things classy, especially from mothers and mother-in-laws. Here's the deal: your wedding day is yours. If you want to make it more fun and less traditional, go right ahead. Maybe you've been told you should wear white flats with your dress when you really want to wear a pair of sneakers. Wear the sneakers, ladies!
2. Wearing A Modest Dress
Perhaps the most important part of a wedding, aside from the actual ceremony, is the wedding dress. A lot of brides feel that they should wear a modest wedding dress that is not over-the-top and does not show a lot of skin. This is absolutely fine if it's what you prefer, but if you want to wear a flashy dress that shows some cleavage, go ahead! Wear the dress that you feel most comfortable in.
3. Inviting Everyone You've Ever Met
You don't need to invite everyone who has ever been in your life to your wedding. Your mother may be insisting that your third cousin twice-removed needs to be invited, but they don't. Only invite who you feel should be there to share in your special day. There's no obligation to invite family, friends, co-workers or anyone else. Some people only want their immediate friends and family at their wedding, and that's perfectly okay!
4. Talking To All Of Your Guests
This is easily one of the most annoying wedding rules. If you end up inviting 100 people to your wedding, you don't need to interact with all 100 people at the ceremony or reception. It's totally okay to address people as a group, perhaps by table or however it is convenient for you. Your guests will just appreciate being invited. They don't need you to spend your entire day conversing with them.
5. Wearing White
Perhaps the most antiquated of all wedding rules is the idea that a bride needs to wear white. No. Just no. You do not have to obsess over finding a white dress. You can wear whatever you want in whatever color you want. In fact, wearing a color other than white will only make your wedding ceremony more unique, memorable and special.