Tag Archives: infidelity

Is “Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater” Really True?

You've probably heard the phrase, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” at some point, right? Many people believe that someone who cheats in a relationship will continue to cheat, either in that relationship or any future ones. Is this really true, though? It turns out, this old saying may not be totally correct…

Sure, there are certain people who are serial cheaters. These people find themselves unable to commit to a relationship physically, mentally, or emotionally. These people are often narcissistic and do not care that they hurt others with their infidelity. This is why their relationships often end very quickly. They always wind up cheating on their partner and then on the next partner…and the next one. The good thing is, serial cheaters are not common.

Isolated incidences of cheating are far more common than serial cheating. Talk to literally anyone you know and odds are, they've either been cheated on or been the person who has cheated at some point in their life. Are all of these people serial cheaters? Definitely not. In most cases, infidelity occurs as a result of poor communication and a faulty relationship. When cheating occurs for these reasons, it's not because one of the partners is a serial cheater. It's because the emotional and physical elements of the relationship had fallen apart, and infidelity suddenly presented itself one way or another.

Now, this is by no means excusing infidelity. Cheating is never okay. Most people have no desire to stay with someone who has cheated, even if it's just once – and they are absolutely right to feel this way! You don't have to stay with anyone who could hurt you in such a deep way and betray your trust like that. However, there are still people who want to give their partner another chance and these are the people who wonder about the validity to “once a cheater, always a cheater.”

If you have experienced infidelity and are choosing to stay with your partner, you need to consider whether they are a serial cheater or not. Is this the first time they have done this? If so, it is likely they have no real desire to do it again. Remember, serial cheaters are rare. Also, what exactly did the cheating entail? Many people consider a quick kiss to be cheating. This kind of cheating is honestly very minor and once you express to your partner that you are not okay with it, it is unlikely they will ever cross that line again.

All in all, “once a cheater, always a cheater” is not true in most cases. It really only applies to a narcissistic person who is a serial cheater. Most normal people in relationships who do commit infidelity are very unlikely to commit it again, which means their relationship can be salvaged if their partner so desires.

once a cheater always a cheater


What Is the “Seven-Year Itch” and How Can You Overcome It?

Have you ever heard of the “seven-year itch?” The seven-year itch is a very common phrase in relation to marriages and long-term relationships that you've probably heard of at some point. In fact, there's even a classic Marilyn Monroe film named after it! So what exactly does the term mean?

The seven-year itch refers to the point in a marriage where both partners grow tired of one another and find themselves bored with the relationship. The name comes from the fact that this point typically occurs after seven years of being together. Obviously it doesn't have to be exactly seven years, but for many couples it falls around that time. At this point in the relationship, one or both partners fail to see the good in their relationship and are overcome with boredom.

You're probably wondering: What's wrong with this? We all experience a little boredom in relationships, right? Well, the seven-year itch is a little different than your typical love life boredom. After that long period of time spent together, the couple may find themselves totally sick of one another – to the point that they want to leave the relationship altogether. In fact, many cases of infidelity occur during this time because one or both partners feel desperate to experience the company of a new person. It's also no coincidence that many divorces occur exactly around this time.

Now, not every couple experiences the seven-year itch. If you don't consider yourselves lucky. It may be coming later on, or it may never come at all. With that said, if you're one of the many couples who is currently going through it, there is a way to fight it and not allow it to destroy your relationship…

As we explained earlier, the main component of the seven-year itch is boredom. The boredom leads to cheating. The boredom leads to divorce. So ultimately, you want to decrease the likelihood that you and your spouse will grow bored of one another. There are numerous things you can do to liven up your marriage again. This may include changing things up in the bedroom. See if your partner wants to try anything new to spark some more passion in your sex life. You can also try out a new hobby together. Whether it be a yoga class or going on bike rides, doing something together can help you re-build the bond you had in the early stages of your marriage. Whatever you choose to do, make sure that you are putting in a sincere and honest effort so that your partner can see how much you really want to keep your marriage afloat.

With all that in mind, not every couple can overcome the dreaded seven-year itch. If you can really commit yourself to re-igniting the spark you once had, your odds look very good!

the seven-year itch


What Is “Micro-Cheating” and How Will It Ruin Your Relationship?

It seems like there are always new terms being created that refer to dating and relationships. Just recently we added “ghosting” and “cuffing” to the dating lexicon, but the latest love-life term is “micro-cheating.” What exactly is considered micro-cheating and how does it differ from just plain old cheating?

Micro-cheating refers to small actions that don't constitute the definition of what most people consider to be actual cheating. For instance, the vast majority of people consider sleeping with someone else to be straight-up cheating. Micro-cheating can be considering sleeping with someone else. One way to think of micro-cheating is to consider it all of those little actions that eventually lead up to full-on cheating. Other actions that would be considered micro-cheating are flirting with someone, commenting something flirty on someone's social media, or even exchanging text messages with someone you're attracted to.

Micro-cheating is often overlooked by people because it doesn't involve actual physical infidelity. While most people in a relationship could see past their partner committing these acts of micro-cheating, it's important to acknowledge that micro-cheating is actually the result of an underlying problem in the relationship. It is a sign that your partner is seeking validation and romantic fulfillment from someone other than yourself. Even if they have not engaged in any physical interaction with this person, they are still looking to this person for something that they should be looking to you for. It's also important to note that many cases of micro-cheating eventually lead to actual cheating. You may think it is trivial that your partner has flirted with someone else or left a flirty comment on someone's social media, but you should consider what these little actions may lead up to if they continue.

Anytime you use “micro” as a prefix, it implies that something is to such a small degree that it is inconsequential. When it comes to micro-cheating, the idea of it being inconsequential should be thrown to the wayside. Micro-cheating is actually an incredibly dangerous and disrespectful behavior that should be addressed right away to save your relationship in the long run.

infidelity


Questionable Fidelity: 3 Things That Should Be Considered Cheating

A common question when it comes to relationships is, “What counts as cheating?” While there are some things that are clearly considered cheating, there are other things that can be a little complicated. To help you sort things out, the following are three things that should be considered cheating:

1. Having An Online-Only “Relationship”

Many people seem to think having a secret, online-only relationship with a strange is not cheating. Some people meet a stranger on Facebook or other social media and proceed to exchange messages with them for months or years. If these messages are strictly friendly and your partner knows about them, it's okay. If these messages are romantic or sexual and you keep them a secret from your partner, this is considered cheating.

2. Sharing Or Receiving Provocative Photos

Sharing nude or suggestive photos with someone other than your partner should definitely be considered cheating. Also, receiving nude or suggestive photos from someone other than your partner should be considered cheating. There is no reason to exchange photos like this with someone you are not dating and if your partner catches you doing it, expect them to leave ASAP.

3. Secretly Texting With An Ex

It's one thing if your partner knows that you're friends with your ex and sometimes talk. It's another if your partner has no clue you're still friendly with your ex and you secretly talk to them. Now, you may argue that texting isn't really talking, but texting is actually the most common form of communication in our modern society. If you're texting your ex all the time and your partner has no idea and would not feel comfortable with it, this should be considered cheating.

infidelity


Reading the Signs: 6 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating

Infidelity is an awful thing that happens in many relationships. There are few things more painful than being betrayed by your partner and many people fear their relationships ending because of infidelity. Sometimes you can feel that your partner is being unfaithful. If you're worried that your partner has betrayed you, you'll want to read these six signs your partner is cheating:

1. They've cheated on an ex.

There is a small kernel of truth to the “once a cheater, always a cheater” saying. While every relationship is different and people do cheat for different reasons, there are some people who are habitual cheaters. If his last three relationships ended because he cheated, the odds don't look good for you.

2. They've developed new habits.

If you've been with someone for a while and they start developing new habits out of nowhere, it could be an infidelity red flag. For instance, if your partner suddenly changes their grooming habits, it could be that they are trying to impress someone else. Or maybe they've taken up a new hobby that they've never showed interest in before. It could be that they're making some changes to their life. but it could also be that they're trying to impress someone new.

3. They're showering you with gifts.

While this is one of the major signs your partner is cheating, you still need to take it with a grain of salt. Your partner getting you gifts does not automatically mean they are being unfaithful. What you need to look at is the circumstances. If your partner has always been generous with gift giving, it's probably nothing. If your partner never gifts you gifts and suddenly gives you a diamond necklace out of the blue, be concerned. They may be feeling guilty and trying to compensate for something.

4. Your sex life is suffering.

If your partner suddenly has no interest in sex, it may be because they are getting it from someone else. This isn't always the case, as there are many things that can interfere with someone's sex drive. But if they haven't had any interest in sex for a long time, you may want to talk to them about what is going on and see if their answer is suspicious.

5. They're spending more time at “work”.

This is one of the classic, tell-tale signs your partner is cheating. If your partner is constantly telling you that they need to stay at work late or they're taking on extra hours, you need to find out if they're telling the truth. “Work” may be a cover-up for the time they're actually spending with someone else.

6. You have a gut feeling.

There is a lot to be said for intuition. If you feel like your partner is doing something wrong, it's probably because they're doing something wrong. Sometimes you need to go with your gut and find out why you feel that your partner is being unfaithful.

Infidelity Signs


11 Signs That Show Your Partner Might Be Cheating

Cheating is common in many relationships today. When a partner is cheating, there are always signs. No matter how hard they try, cheating boyfriends or girlfriends will show hints of their unfaithfulness.

Here are eleven signs to look out for if you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you:

1. Your partner is overly obsessed with himself or herself. He/she is always checking on how they’re dressed or how they look in a mirror. It’s obvious that your partner might be trying to look attractive to impress the other person. If you see a drastic change in the appearance of your partner, pay attention.

2. You see your partner, who used to dress moderately, suddenly starts wearing expensive shoes, trousers, shirts and perfumes. If you find lipstick stains on him that are not your's or smell a perfume from another lady or man, you may have an indication that he/she is cheating on you.

3. Your partner starts to spend more time with his/her new love interest. This new love interest can be a friend, a colleague, a companion or even an associate of your's. If he/she is a guy or a gal, you might need to know more about this relationship, as it’s highly likely it’s an affair.

4. Your partner suddenly begins to argue with you over irrelevant things. He/she is trying to blame you for something you had nothing to do with, and you realize that they’re doing it to pick a fight with you. This could be a sign that your partner is cheating.

5. All of a sudden, your partner begins seeking privacy. He/she makes secret calls and sends texts or emails without you knowing anything about it and also will not want you to know about some things.

6. Your partner goes on a sudden vacation or business trip without telling you about it. Apparently, your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t want you to know where he/she goes or doesn’t want to tell you about it. All this makes you even more suspicious that your partner is cheating on you.

7. He/she is always texting and chatting online. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is always on the computer chatting with someone, or texts on his or her phone for a long period even while you are there in front of them. You better find out soon what’s going on, because he/she isn’t chatting or texting their friends or family.

8. He/she becomes less romantic and affectionate. Lack of communication and misunderstanding will hurt romance and affection. If you notice that your partner is less romantic to you, or when you try to be intimate or close to him/her, he/she rejects you without giving any solid reasons, it is a bad sign and cheating can be the reason.

9. He/she tells unnecessary lies. When your partner lies about things that don’t matter to you much, be careful. If your boyfriend/girlfriend begins to twist his/her words or explain things that are out of context, or simply that aren’t important to you, you better take a closer look.

10. It is good to have friends, but when your boyfriend has a lot of female friends, even more than yourself, and you’ve never met most of them, be watchful. Notice his reactions, when you tell him that it’s making you feel insecure and uncomfortable that he’s hanging out them.

11. Your partner might show little or no interest in being physically intimate with you. He/she seems disinterested in having sexual relations with you and also in everyday life activities.


3 Steps to Help You Move Forward After Being Betrayed By Your Partner

So, you’ve been struck with a betrayal. You feel your whole life is spinning out of control. Your emotions and thoughts are running thin. You feel sad, angry, desperate and resentful of your partner. You keep asking yourself, “what did I do to deserve this?” Your mind tells you that you can’t come out of this betrayal hole, and your life has stopped moving.

What can you do to get out from this mess? Here are three steps to help you move forward after being betrayed by your partner:

1. Practice Forgiveness

You feel guilty, hurt and resentful that your partner has betrayed you. If you want to get over this and move on from this painful chapter of your life, it’s time to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself will make you get rid of all the anger, pain, and confusion. Your heart, soul, and body will become toxic unless you forgive yourself as well as considering forgiving your former partner. Don’t make yourself the victim and stop with the self-loathing. Practice forgiveness, as it is the ultimate pathway to healing. Also, remember not to punish your future partners for your ex’s transgressions. Be strong, kind, and confident to give them the trust they deserve.

2. Blame vs. Self-Worth

Instead of blaming yourself for your partner betraying you, appreciate your self-worth. Tell yourself that you’re enough as who you are. Acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend betraying or cheating on you has nothing to do with you. On the flip side, if you’re still angry and blaming your partner for betrayal, you need to deeply consider if you can let go of this unfortunate incident, rebuild your relationship, or if it is in your best interest to  leave the relationship and move on. If you have a hard time choosing the right course of action here, you first need to understand why people betray or cheat on their partners. Usually men and women who have low confidence and self-esteem cheat on or betray their mates. They also possess a high need for acceptance and approval. Therefore, if your spouse fits any of the descriptions above, you have to determine whether you want to heal this relationship or totally end it for you to recover.

3. Rebuild Trust

We understand that your partner’s betrayal made a dent in your trust. You find it hard to trust your partner, and other people, which is crucial if you want to move forward. Keep in mind that projecting your fears won’t do anything for the healing process. If you have decided to stay with your partner, the first thing you need to work on is rebuilding your trust. If you fail to forgive, then there is no point in wasting your time and energy by staying in the relationship and also making your partner pay for their past transgressions.


When you’re in a relationship, keep in mind that every relationship has its rough patches. After a betrayal, it’s very easy to get lost in the maze of anger, doubts, and uncertainty about the future. These three steps above will help you move on and ultimately build a more stable and happy relationship in the future.


4 Common Signs That Your Partner is Cheating On You

Let’s be honest: Cheating is never okay. When it comes to dating and relationships, cheating will always be a hot topic. Why? Because almost everyone at some point has been cheated on, thought of being cheated on, tempted to cheat or has been guilty of cheating. Cheating requires an action, and you and your partner have to be in an exclusive and monogamous relationship. Anything breaking or dishonoring that social contract is cheating. For example, sexual intimacy is a part of an exclusive relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is sleeping with you while they’re secretly pursuing another relationship at the same time, it’s cheating.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, you might accuse them of it or get all paranoid about it. Before you jump the gun and make accusations, take the time to really see if your partner is cheating. Here are some common signs to look for:

Cheating Sign #1
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has made some drastic changes to his or her appearance, but he or she doesn’t care whether you notice it or ask questions. You see an alluring new hairstyle, an entirely overhauled wardrobe with sexy and stylish outfits, spending long hours in the gym or beauty salon, etc. It’s all on display for someone else’s viewing pleasure. Remember, if you compliment your partner for his or her new looks, and they deflect or downplay it, be careful. It might be that your partner is simply sprucing up his or her act, or it may be to impress someone else. It can go either way.

Cheating Sign #2
Your significant other gives vague or evasive answers to simple questions. If you notice that your partner is getting all defensive or sensitive when you ask him or her their whereabouts, or any other information, it’s safe to say that this person is hiding something from you. They’re also afraid that things will become bad if it gets exposed.

Cheating Sign #3
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has become secretive. You feel disconnected from certain aspects of your partner’s life. What’s worse is that you want to know about those certain aspects. And what happens next is pretty natural: you get suspicious. Secrets arouse suspicion.

Cheating Sign #4
You notice your partner is less interested in being physically intimate or having sex with you. This particular development should be analyzed with plenty of caution. Many factors might cause a drop in a person’s libido, such as anxiety, insomnia, stress, hormonal imbalances, health problems, and so on. It could also be that your boyfriend or girlfriend is losing interest in the relationship. It is this sign that you should keep your eyes peeled.

Infidelity is common when you’re in a committed, romantic relationship. So, if you’re dating someone and you feel suspicious that your boyfriend or girlfriend may be cheating, don’t waste any time, and have a direct conversation with him or her and expect direct answers about what’s really happening.


Preventing Emotional Infidelity in Relationships

Emotional infidelity happens when you or your significant other is emotionally attracted or connected with someone outside the realm of your relationship. But just how precarious can emotional infidelity be in a committed relationship or marriage? The truth is, emotional infidelity can be really alarming. It can take away time and energy from the marriage. If left unaddressed, it can lead to sexual infidelity, and ultimately destroy the marriage or the relationship.

Emotional infidelity is an outcome of preexisting problems within a marriage. This happens when couples aren’t emotionally and physically intimate with their partners in their current relationship, and each person is vulnerable to some infidelity. It can be either physical or emotional. So, instead of blaming the affair for all the problems in your relationship, why not take care of the primary issue in the first place?

People find emotional infidelity irresistible as it’s very easy to be intimate with a person with whom we have no shared responsibilities like money issues, children or chores. We feel comfortable to share our deepest feelings, thoughts, and fears with someone we have no personal conflicts with or shared interests. In other words, it’s an easy way of not dealing with the real issues at hand. If continued, this emotional infidelity will jeopardize your marriage, and eventually will lead to a divorce. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, the relationship won’t result in a marriage. You will end up with the same problems that you had before being in a committed relationship or getting married. So, why waste your time? Why not resolve the problems now?

The primary issue that leads to emotional infidelity is an emotional disconnect between partners. Emotional distance or disconnect occurs because there are deeper issues within the relationship. These problems might be:

1. One or both partners want to control the relationship through anger, blame, and criticism.

2. One or both partners want to control the relationship by care taking. This is done by one person taking care of their wants and needs and taking responsibility for the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

3. One or both partners want to control the relationship by withdrawing and resisting being controlled by the other person.

4. One or both partners don’t want to take any emotional responsibility for his/her feelings of happiness, joy, and pain. Both partners have abandoned themselves emotionally. They’re self-bashing, making the other partner responsible for their feelings, and ignoring their own emotions through addictions.

All the above problems grind down the love in your relationship making you disconnected from your significant other and lonely in the relationship. This is the perfect situation for emotional infidelity to manifest and thrive. These patterns, under general circumstances, don’t usually show up early in a relationship or when you’re in an emotional or physical affair.

These patterns also don’t disappear when you embark on a new relationship. These patterns will again return, when your new relationship is on the path to becoming a committed and exclusive relationship. If you’re thinking of dating someone, take responsibility of your own feelings, and your ability to love and care for someone genuinely. It’s only you that can prevent your wonderful relationship from being hijacked by emotional infidelity.


5 Ways To Walk Away After Your Partner Has An Affair

If you've found that your partner has been cheating on you, it's time to move on and find a real relationship. Whether the love affair is one-sided or mutual, being in a relationship with a cheater hardly works out in your favor in the end. It brings nothing except sadness and pain. Once you’ve determined that remaining in the relationship with someone who cheated on you is only going to give your more pain and make your life more complicated, that relationship needs to end.

Here are five steps that will help you walk away from your relationship after your partner has had an affair:

1. Find A Distraction

Fall in love with someone, of course, a single and available one. Get out of there and explore other possibilities. It’s hard ending a relationship with someone you’re still in love with, but it can be easy if you get involved in another relationship because it will work as a distraction.

2. Start Asking For Money

While in the relationship, if you’ve never actually asked for gifts or money, now is the time to start asking. When you ask, ask for more. Though he might conform to your requests, he’ll consequently get annoyed with your constant requests. This will create a rift in the relationship, which is what you want to happen. In the meantime, save all money for a rainy day when the relationship finally ends.

3. Spend More Time Together

This is another tactic to deploy if there is a possibility. Consider spending more time with your boyfriend. The more time you spend together, the better. Most people tend to show their best sides if someone spends brief periods of time with them. Therefore, spend a few days with him, and you might get surprised at how little you actually like him. Allow yourself to experience all those small things that annoy you, and don’t hesitate to argue with him about it.

4. Show Your Bad Side

Stop being the nice girl and show your bad side. Your partner has only seen your good side, and he too has only shown you his good side. Now the moment has arrived to let it all hang out. Cry, shout, yell, nag, complain, and expect more from him. Take all of this as an act, and do it as though this is a healthy relationship. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly Mr. Perfect loses his cool and shows his real personality. You’ll start wondering how come you ever fell in love with him in the first place.

5. Love Yourself

Regardless of if you’re looking for a date or already in a relationship, fall in love with yourself. This is crucial when it comes to dating and relationships. Ask yourself why you’re still in love the person who had the affair and betrayed your trust. Remind yourself  that you’re worthy of a real and loving relationship.