Tag Archives: marriage

3 Steps to Help You Move Forward After Being Betrayed By Your Partner

So, you’ve been struck with a betrayal. You feel your whole life is spinning out of control. Your emotions and thoughts are running thin. You feel sad, angry, desperate and resentful of your partner. You keep asking yourself, “what did I do to deserve this?” Your mind tells you that you can’t come out of this betrayal hole, and your life has stopped moving.

What can you do to get out from this mess? Here are three steps to help you move forward after being betrayed by your partner:

1. Practice Forgiveness

You feel guilty, hurt and resentful that your partner has betrayed you. If you want to get over this and move on from this painful chapter of your life, it’s time to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself will make you get rid of all the anger, pain, and confusion. Your heart, soul, and body will become toxic unless you forgive yourself as well as considering forgiving your former partner. Don’t make yourself the victim and stop with the self-loathing. Practice forgiveness, as it is the ultimate pathway to healing. Also, remember not to punish your future partners for your ex’s transgressions. Be strong, kind, and confident to give them the trust they deserve.

2. Blame vs. Self-Worth

Instead of blaming yourself for your partner betraying you, appreciate your self-worth. Tell yourself that you’re enough as who you are. Acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend betraying or cheating on you has nothing to do with you. On the flip side, if you’re still angry and blaming your partner for betrayal, you need to deeply consider if you can let go of this unfortunate incident, rebuild your relationship, or if it is in your best interest to  leave the relationship and move on. If you have a hard time choosing the right course of action here, you first need to understand why people betray or cheat on their partners. Usually men and women who have low confidence and self-esteem cheat on or betray their mates. They also possess a high need for acceptance and approval. Therefore, if your spouse fits any of the descriptions above, you have to determine whether you want to heal this relationship or totally end it for you to recover.

3. Rebuild Trust

We understand that your partner’s betrayal made a dent in your trust. You find it hard to trust your partner, and other people, which is crucial if you want to move forward. Keep in mind that projecting your fears won’t do anything for the healing process. If you have decided to stay with your partner, the first thing you need to work on is rebuilding your trust. If you fail to forgive, then there is no point in wasting your time and energy by staying in the relationship and also making your partner pay for their past transgressions.


When you’re in a relationship, keep in mind that every relationship has its rough patches. After a betrayal, it’s very easy to get lost in the maze of anger, doubts, and uncertainty about the future. These three steps above will help you move on and ultimately build a more stable and happy relationship in the future.


4 Common Signs That Your Partner is Cheating On You

Let’s be honest: Cheating is never okay. When it comes to dating and relationships, cheating will always be a hot topic. Why? Because almost everyone at some point has been cheated on, thought of being cheated on, tempted to cheat or has been guilty of cheating. Cheating requires an action, and you and your partner have to be in an exclusive and monogamous relationship. Anything breaking or dishonoring that social contract is cheating. For example, sexual intimacy is a part of an exclusive relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is sleeping with you while they’re secretly pursuing another relationship at the same time, it’s cheating.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, you might accuse them of it or get all paranoid about it. Before you jump the gun and make accusations, take the time to really see if your partner is cheating. Here are some common signs to look for:

Cheating Sign #1
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has made some drastic changes to his or her appearance, but he or she doesn’t care whether you notice it or ask questions. You see an alluring new hairstyle, an entirely overhauled wardrobe with sexy and stylish outfits, spending long hours in the gym or beauty salon, etc. It’s all on display for someone else’s viewing pleasure. Remember, if you compliment your partner for his or her new looks, and they deflect or downplay it, be careful. It might be that your partner is simply sprucing up his or her act, or it may be to impress someone else. It can go either way.

Cheating Sign #2
Your significant other gives vague or evasive answers to simple questions. If you notice that your partner is getting all defensive or sensitive when you ask him or her their whereabouts, or any other information, it’s safe to say that this person is hiding something from you. They’re also afraid that things will become bad if it gets exposed.

Cheating Sign #3
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has become secretive. You feel disconnected from certain aspects of your partner’s life. What’s worse is that you want to know about those certain aspects. And what happens next is pretty natural: you get suspicious. Secrets arouse suspicion.

Cheating Sign #4
You notice your partner is less interested in being physically intimate or having sex with you. This particular development should be analyzed with plenty of caution. Many factors might cause a drop in a person’s libido, such as anxiety, insomnia, stress, hormonal imbalances, health problems, and so on. It could also be that your boyfriend or girlfriend is losing interest in the relationship. It is this sign that you should keep your eyes peeled.

Infidelity is common when you’re in a committed, romantic relationship. So, if you’re dating someone and you feel suspicious that your boyfriend or girlfriend may be cheating, don’t waste any time, and have a direct conversation with him or her and expect direct answers about what’s really happening.


Preventing Emotional Infidelity in Relationships

Emotional infidelity happens when you or your significant other is emotionally attracted or connected with someone outside the realm of your relationship. But just how precarious can emotional infidelity be in a committed relationship or marriage? The truth is, emotional infidelity can be really alarming. It can take away time and energy from the marriage. If left unaddressed, it can lead to sexual infidelity, and ultimately destroy the marriage or the relationship.

Emotional infidelity is an outcome of preexisting problems within a marriage. This happens when couples aren’t emotionally and physically intimate with their partners in their current relationship, and each person is vulnerable to some infidelity. It can be either physical or emotional. So, instead of blaming the affair for all the problems in your relationship, why not take care of the primary issue in the first place?

People find emotional infidelity irresistible as it’s very easy to be intimate with a person with whom we have no shared responsibilities like money issues, children or chores. We feel comfortable to share our deepest feelings, thoughts, and fears with someone we have no personal conflicts with or shared interests. In other words, it’s an easy way of not dealing with the real issues at hand. If continued, this emotional infidelity will jeopardize your marriage, and eventually will lead to a divorce. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, the relationship won’t result in a marriage. You will end up with the same problems that you had before being in a committed relationship or getting married. So, why waste your time? Why not resolve the problems now?

The primary issue that leads to emotional infidelity is an emotional disconnect between partners. Emotional distance or disconnect occurs because there are deeper issues within the relationship. These problems might be:

1. One or both partners want to control the relationship through anger, blame, and criticism.

2. One or both partners want to control the relationship by care taking. This is done by one person taking care of their wants and needs and taking responsibility for the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

3. One or both partners want to control the relationship by withdrawing and resisting being controlled by the other person.

4. One or both partners don’t want to take any emotional responsibility for his/her feelings of happiness, joy, and pain. Both partners have abandoned themselves emotionally. They’re self-bashing, making the other partner responsible for their feelings, and ignoring their own emotions through addictions.

All the above problems grind down the love in your relationship making you disconnected from your significant other and lonely in the relationship. This is the perfect situation for emotional infidelity to manifest and thrive. These patterns, under general circumstances, don’t usually show up early in a relationship or when you’re in an emotional or physical affair.

These patterns also don’t disappear when you embark on a new relationship. These patterns will again return, when your new relationship is on the path to becoming a committed and exclusive relationship. If you’re thinking of dating someone, take responsibility of your own feelings, and your ability to love and care for someone genuinely. It’s only you that can prevent your wonderful relationship from being hijacked by emotional infidelity.


5 Ways To Walk Away After Your Partner Has An Affair

If you've found that your partner has been cheating on you, it's time to move on and find a real relationship. Whether the love affair is one-sided or mutual, being in a relationship with a cheater hardly works out in your favor in the end. It brings nothing except sadness and pain. Once you’ve determined that remaining in the relationship with someone who cheated on you is only going to give your more pain and make your life more complicated, that relationship needs to end.

Here are five steps that will help you walk away from your relationship after your partner has had an affair:

1. Find A Distraction

Fall in love with someone, of course, a single and available one. Get out of there and explore other possibilities. It’s hard ending a relationship with someone you’re still in love with, but it can be easy if you get involved in another relationship because it will work as a distraction.

2. Start Asking For Money

While in the relationship, if you’ve never actually asked for gifts or money, now is the time to start asking. When you ask, ask for more. Though he might conform to your requests, he’ll consequently get annoyed with your constant requests. This will create a rift in the relationship, which is what you want to happen. In the meantime, save all money for a rainy day when the relationship finally ends.

3. Spend More Time Together

This is another tactic to deploy if there is a possibility. Consider spending more time with your boyfriend. The more time you spend together, the better. Most people tend to show their best sides if someone spends brief periods of time with them. Therefore, spend a few days with him, and you might get surprised at how little you actually like him. Allow yourself to experience all those small things that annoy you, and don’t hesitate to argue with him about it.

4. Show Your Bad Side

Stop being the nice girl and show your bad side. Your partner has only seen your good side, and he too has only shown you his good side. Now the moment has arrived to let it all hang out. Cry, shout, yell, nag, complain, and expect more from him. Take all of this as an act, and do it as though this is a healthy relationship. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly Mr. Perfect loses his cool and shows his real personality. You’ll start wondering how come you ever fell in love with him in the first place.

5. Love Yourself

Regardless of if you’re looking for a date or already in a relationship, fall in love with yourself. This is crucial when it comes to dating and relationships. Ask yourself why you’re still in love the person who had the affair and betrayed your trust. Remind yourself  that you’re worthy of a real and loving relationship.


5 Awesome Reasons You Should Get Married

Most of us in long-term relationships hope that the relationship will result in marriage. There are pros and cons of getting married, but in this article we will focus only on the good things. The decision to get married is huge and there are plenty of legitimately good reasons to become man and wife. Here are five of those great reasons to tie the knot:

1. Marriage Has Financial Benefits

Couples who get married will accumulate more wealth by combining both households and reducing living costs. Getting married opens the gate for you and your partner to get access to family health, dental and other insurance benefits more easily. You both get access to retirement plans and social security. Marriage also makes it easier to inherit from each other. You get tax benefits from the IRS, charitable deductions, the ability to fund IRAs, etc.

2. Getting Married Makes You Happier and Healthier 

Overall, married folks are healthier physically and mentally and have greater self-esteem and confidence than single people. So, if you’re one of those men and women who wants to feel happier, live longer, healthy, and remain physically and mentally active for a long time, get married soon.

3. Marriage Is Beneficial For Kids

One of the primary reasons for tying the knot is the social stigma people face when they have kids outside of marriage. Kids born outside the realm of marriage are more likely to fall into poverty, fail academically, and suffer various behavioral and emotional problems. The main reason for these kids born outside of marriage failing is that they aren’t receiving the care and support provided by both parents. Outside of marriage, both parents aren’t legally responsible for the kids, but getting married gives both parents the legal obligation to take care of them.

4. Want To Have Better Sex? Get Married

This one is pretty tricky and depends on your preferences. But it’s widely accepted that people who are happier, healthier, and financially better off, have better sex than people who are single or than couples who cohabitate. Another good reason to tie the knot!

5. Marriage Reduces Divorce, While Cohabitation Increases It

There has been a lot of debate that says couples can equally be happy cohabiting? The thing is that people who cohabitate and then decide to wed later are more likely to get divorced at some point compared to couples who marry without living together.

Judging by all the pros, we can easily tell that marriage is the hands-down winner. When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s natural for both of you to think of getting married. Apart from getting married to feel happier, have a better sex life, live longer, and save money on insurance premiums, marriage brings you and your partner closer to each other and is more emotionally intimate. Marriage is also the best environment to raise children in if that’s the point of you getting married.


6 Things Guys Secretly Adore About the Women They Love

When it comes to relationships, there are some specific things men love about the woman they’re dating, but they may not tell her. Whenever a guy falls in love with a woman, there are many little things about her and her character that will make even the most insensitive man smile and make his heart flutter with joy.

Here are six things that men adore about the women they love:

1. A man loves the way he smiles when he thinks about you. No matter how stressed out he is at work, stuck in traffic, or just bored, when he thinks of her, he'll smile. A man considers himself lucky when he has a woman come into his life who can get him to smile. Simply hearing her name or thinking about her will light him up like a firework display. What's not to love about that?

2. He loves it when he can make you smile. Sense of humor is an excellent quality most women look for in a man. A guy loves to see the woman in his life smiling, laughing, happy and having a great time. And he will go the extra mile to make it happen. It's even better if he can make the lady of his life laugh by telling her dumb jokes.

3. He loves being physically close to you. A man loves being close to his woman, whether you two are cuddling on the couch or in bed watching TV, or simply standing next to each other. It’s a good way to feel physically and emotionally connected with someone. You can’t beat the feeling of your girlfriend resting her hand or head on your chest or shoulder – it’s incredible! Another tip- he likes you playing with his hair while watching TV or while he's driving. It’s a great feeling to him! And did I mention he loves when he catches you looking at him?

4. Men adore the way women smile after being kissed. We all know the euphoric and exciting rush we get when we kiss the person we love. The rush emotions and endorphins in our bodies takes us over. Can you explain the spark that you feel when you kiss him or her, and they smile at you? It’s incredible. I doubt there is any other better feeling.

5. He loves how things feel so natural with you. In a relationship, there is no question that every man and woman has to put in some effort to make a relationship work. But if two people can feel at ease and be entirely comfortable with each other, the relationship will feel natural. They won’t feel bored or stressed, rather they will feel content.

6. A man loves going to you for advice or suggestions. If you love someone, you'll naturally respect him or her, who they are and the way they think, and you will value their views and opinions. You'll want to get their suggestions or advice. You'll want to hear about how their point of view compares with your's. You’re interested to hear out their perspectives. If the man in your life asks for your opinion, take it as an excellent sign that he loves you.


3 Important Steps To Help You Reconnect With Your Partner

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse? Are you thinking of ways to make your relationship more romantic? Thinking of getting your girlfriend or wife a diamond necklace or a sexy dress? Sounds like a good idea, right? Not always. You see, expensive jewelry or that romantic dinner date isn’t the way to a woman’s heart. In fact, it’s the mundane and smallest of acts in relationships that are the most significant of all. You can’t have a loving relationship if you fail to connect emotionally with your partner.

Here are three steps to help you reconnect with your partner:

1. Accept Offers For Connection

Most couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs not because of resentment, but out of mindlessness. If you want to feel connected with your partner, the first initiative will be to recognize how important those small and rather meaningless moments of love are such as sitting together and watching TV silently, or kissing your partner while she’s making coffee, and so on. This is vital, not only for building trust in your relationship, but for intimacy and romance as well. The simple act of not taking everyday interactions, and yes, small acts, for granted can do miracles in a marriage or a romantic relationship. For instance, helping your significant other with chores around the house will do more good to your relationship than going on a week-long vacation in Paris.

2. Understand Each Other's Love Maps

Most often, couples assume that their partners listen and can read all of their feelings. The secret to understanding your spouse well isn’t derived from mind reading. Instead, it’s accomplished through hard work and sharing openly and honestly your emotions and thoughts. Do you know the moment your partner worries and stresses the most? How much can you tell about their hopes and aspirations? What are their life goals? The best way to understand each other is by asking them questions, and keep on asking them. Remember all the answers. Sharing your inner self and knowing your life partner better is a reward that will last a lifetime.

3. Cultivate A Sense Of Appreciation And Respect

One of the major components of a healthy, lasting relationship is a deep sense of appreciation and respect for each other. If you interrupt your wife in the middle of a conversation where she’s trying to prove a point, how can you build affection and respect in the relationship? We all have flaws in our personalities.

Learn to accept those flaws, rather than focusing on your partner’s inadequacies. If the moment is right, express what you cherish about him or her. The key is to learn how to reconnect with your spouse, and when you see your significant other doing something right and good, appreciate them. Tell them that you’re thankful that he or she has done all the dishes, and you genuinely appreciate it. Keep in mind that every time you do this, your partner will feel an emotional connection with you, which is vital to have a thriving and long-lasting marriage or a relationship.


5 Secret Relationship Tips Only The Happiest Couples Know

Is it possible for couples to achieve true happiness? When you’re disappointed with your relationship, it may seem like other couples are happy everywhere you go. Remaining in an unhappy relationship can make you cynical about relationships. Your cynicism about romantic relationships can grow like cancer, fueled by the lack of communication, avoidance, and resentment.

So, what do the happiest couples do that makes their relationship successful? Here are some secrets that the happiest couples know and abide by:

1. You Both Have Shared Goals For The Future

If you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, the two of you should share the same goals and visions for the future. Both of you should have the same desire to have kids, career aspirations, retirement plans, financial management, and so on and so forth. If there are any discrepancies in any of these categories, both partners discuss how they can compromise or reach a middle ground.

2. You’re Fully Aware That You Can’t Control or Change Your Spouse

This is one big mistake many people try, and they fail miserably every time. You might find this confusing initially, and you may ask yourself – why wouldn't it be reasonable for your partner to change if it would contribute to your happiness? The answer is that the other partner who is being blamed might think that he’s being blamed for his habits and behaviors, which is making you unhappy. Remember: blame the behavior for you being unhappy, not your partner. Putting a label on your spouse’s habit or behavior isn’t the best way to fulfill your wants and needs. It also deprives them of the opportunity to explain their behavior. This is nothing but fuel for marital conflict.

3. You Appreciate Your Partner If He Or She Is Doing Something Right

Happy couples appreciate and express gratitude for each other. If the other does something nice, they recognize that gesture from their partner. This helps build trust. Similar to happiness, trust in a relationship needs to be earned and maintained over time. Therefore, acknowledging and recognizing when your partner is doing something good will tremendously improve the trust in your relationship.

4. Keep In Mind, Judgment Kills Intimacy

When you’re in a committed relationship, judgment induces shame and doesn’t help any aspect of the relationship. Happy couples know this very well. Humans are naturally inclined to connection, and they desire intimacy, both physical and emotional. Judging your partner gives birth to shame, and shame erodes that connection. Judgments can come in any form, and only telling your partner, “Why did you fold the clothes that way?” can be quite painful. Judgment induces conflict, conflict causes shame, weakens the connection, and ultimately intimacy evaporates.

5. The Happiest Couples Are Excellent Communicators

Happy couples know how to “fight or argue”, and know how to communicate well. Most couples think arguing and fighting is counter-intuitive in a relationship. That’s why they stay away from conflict altogether, but this doesn’t always bring happiness. They just suffer in silence. Choosing avoidance is a temporary solution. Withholding conflicts don't resolve them, rather it aggregates them. Keep in mind, during a conflict, the love and respect for your significant other doesn't stop, but it’s imperative that you communicate with respect during a conflict.


5 Difficult Relationship Challenges and How To Fix Them

Marital and relationship challenges go hand-in-hand. They come in all shapes and sizes. If you're upset and feel disconnected in your relationship, you aren’t alone. Keep in mind that almost half of all marriages end up in a divorce. That will give you some perspective. Anyways, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll face a lot of challenges.

Here are some difficult relationship challenges and how you can fix them:

1. Unrealistic Expectations

This is a very common problem that all couples face. You see, people are always changing and so are their expectations. Pause for a moment, and ask yourself if you are the same person you were five years ago. You  will probably say “no.” If you can’t stop yourself from changing, how can you expect your partner to be the same person they were five or ten years ago? Embrace the change. It’s inevitable.

2. Feeling Bored Or Tired With Your Relationship

If we keep doing the same thing over and over again, we get bored or tired of it. The same thing can occur in a relationship or marriage. It starts feeling like the same thing after a while. It’s at this time or phase in the relationship when you and your partner need to take some drastic initiatives. If you would like to try or do something new, share it with your boyfriend or girlfriend. For example, you can plan a date night, go on a weekend getaway or buy a new dress, and so on and so forth. All these will surprise your partner and can lead to the right things.

3. Long Periods Of Stress

Nowadays we are dealing with more stress than our parents and grandparents. We are dealing with all sorts of stress like work-related stress, mental health issues, financial problems, sickness, child woes, etc. Our lives are rife with many challenges. When we are anxious and stressed out, it’s easy to take it out on our partners. This will create even more stress and problems, and the relationship can end. If you’re feeling stressed in the relationship, be supportive towards each other. Practice patience, improve your communication skills, and let your significant other know that you appreciate them for all the things they’ve done for the relationship.

4. Lack Of Care, Concern, And Attentiveness

A romantic relationship is a two-sided affair. You can’t have a healthy, long-lasting relationship if you feel the relationship has become one-sided. For example, some women gave up their prolific careers and spending time with friends so that they can take care of the kids and family. Meanwhile, the husband works late most of the time and leaves you with all the responsibilities of the children, which leaves no time for yourself and the relationship. You feel resentful. Talking about it with your partner doesn’t help much. You can improve the situation by doing your part or helping your partner in it.

5. Lack Of Physical Intimacy

This means that you aren’t feeling attracted to your partner like you used to feel or there are some issues with your libido. Lack of sex in a romantic relationship is quite common and can happen to even the best relationships. There are many reasons for this. You’re stressed out from work, depression, sleep deprivation; you’re taking some medications, and much more. You can improve your sex life by scheduling sex. You'll see noticeable changes in your libido and attraction over time.


Neglecting The Little Things is What Ruins Marriages

Let’s face it: all of us are stressed out. But don’t let the daily stress of your hectic life keep you away from showing your partner love and affection. During the early days of a romantic relationship, we feel enchanted by our spouse. We keep hoping and praying that they’ll become our best friend and life partner. Our focus on our partners is so much that we let our girlfriends or boyfriends know that they are the ongoing object of our unconditional love and affection. We look at them with love in our eyes, we send then loving texts, and utter words of love and appreciation like, “I love you.”

But whenever we find ourselves in a secure and committed relationship, we start to behave like ordinary people. We get engulfed by all the mundane things we need to do and focus more on our own issues and the stresses of daily life. This is normal, because we can’t live our whole lives in an elevated state of intense romance forever. Sometimes we return and recall our past romantic experiences together by going on a dinner date or a vacation. But as we become busy with our routines, we might unconsciously find that our partners need our love, attention, and affection. It’s the lack of these three vital elements that can destroy a marriage or a long-term relationship.

For example, if you’re busy on your phone and walking into the house after work, wave at your wife as you see her while walking through the room. You can feel that may not work for her, and she might also think that she’s an afterthought. This can create some tension in your relationship and your partner might feel you don’t have much affection for her anymore. So, make sure when you return home to let her know that you’re glad to see her. Do you have to do it every time? Not always. Sometimes you don’t have to get off your phone and tell her how happy and glad to have her in your life. Nonetheless, try to do it most of the time. Sometimes you might get defensive when your partner starts an argument with you. But, bear in mind that your spouse is trying to make a connection with you. So, rather than getting all defensive, pause for a moment, and think of how great it is that you have a partner who wants to connect with you when you come home. That thought is enough to bring good feelings between you.

So, pay some conscious attention to the little things throughout your relationship on a daily basis. All of those small gestures will add up to feelings of abundant love, fun, and support. So, touch your partner as you walk past her, hug her for no reason, or kiss her unexpectedly. Also, look with love into her eyes, or buy her favorite ice-cream or a gift for no reason – basically, do all the things that you’ve done when you both met and fell in love with each other for the first time.