Tag Archives: marriage

Calling It Quits: 4 Behaviors That Lead To Divorce

It's an unfortunate statistic, but half of all marriages end in divorce. This is a number that is likely to grow as the years go on. Why is that? What is leading so many marriages to fall apart? Many marriages end due to infidelity, but what leads to rest of divorces? It turns out there are many reasons a marriage can end in divorce. Some of the reasons are patterns of behavior that break down the relationship. The following are four behaviors that lead to divorce:

1. Resenting Your Partner

Having resentment for your partner is a surefire way to end your marriage. If you feel like your partner is ruining your life, this will come through in your behavior. Maybe you feel like your marriage has robbed you of things you wanted to pursue when you were younger. Feeling this way is going to make you resent your partner, and your resentment will cause arguments and animosity. This will ultimately lead to divorce.

2. Criticizing Your Partner Constantly

It's one thing to tell your partner when they've done something to upset you. It's another thing to constantly criticize your partner for things they cannot change. Consistently nagging your partner over things they do or say is one of the main behaviors that lead to divorce. The constant criticism will eventually break your partner down and make them want to leave the relationship.

3. Always Being On The Defense

If you're always on the defensive in your marriage, something is wrong. This behavior indicates that either you're doing something you shouldn't be, or your partner is just accusing you of doing something you shouldn't be. Either way, this is not good for your marriage. Constantly having to defend yourself is never a sign of a healthy relationship.

4. Ignoring Your Partner

Ignoring your partner is one of the surefire behaviors that lead to divorce. If your partner needs your attention or affection and you're not giving it, they might seek it elsewhere. Leading studies have shown that many cases of infidelity were caused by emotional neglect. If you ignore your partner long enough, they will eventually choose to be with someone else.

Divorce


4 Pieces of Marriage Advice From Married Men to Their Single Friends

Getting married is a huge life decision. For this reason, many men are scared to get married. They're afraid of the commitment, or of their marriage possibly failing. The best way for single men, or soon-to-be married men, to get some insight into marriage is to speak to married people. We've got four pieces of marriage advice from married men to their single or engaged friends:

1. It's okay to be vulnerable.

You've probably heard that your partner should be like your best friend, and this is basically true. You should be able to completely open up to your partner. Men are often taught to hide their emotions and never show vulnerability. This isn't going to work in a marriage. You need to be able to let your guard down and show your partner how you really feel. Keeping your emotions bottled up will never lead to a healthy marriage.

2. It's not all passion and excitement.

Before getting married, understand that your relationship won't be exciting all the time. There won't always be the passion that was there in the beginning of your relationship. This isn't a bad thing! It's a normal part of any relationship. The longer you've been together, the more things will settle into a low-key, comfortable routine. Your Friday nights won't be going out to parties anymore. Instead, they'll be watching movies and ordering takeout. If you're with the right person, you won't really mind this. You should feel okay just having downtime with your partner.

3. Always be honest.

A marriage built on lies is never going to succeed. So one of the biggest pieces of marriage advice is to always be honest with your partner. If you can't be honest with your partner, what are you even doing with them? Lying to your partner, even if it's about small things, will never work out. If you want to build a healthy, happy marriage, you need to be able to talk to your partner about anything and always be truthful with them.

4. You have to put in the work.

This is a piece of marriage advice that cannot be glossed over: you need to put the work in. Marriage is hard work. Even the best marriages are not easy. There will be days where you're angry at your partner. There will be moments where you may want to call it quits. You need to be able to work through these times if you want your marriage to last. The happiest couples will tell you that they had to work really hard to get over hurdles in their marriage. As you've probably heard many times, the best things in life don't come easy.

Marriage Tips


Baby Makes Three: 5 Ways Your Relationship Changes After Having A Baby

So you're having a baby! This is the most exciting time of your life. You are bringing a little human into the world who is half you, half your partner. The two of you are going to love it, raise it and care for it. While this is a wonderful thing and will bring you endless joy, it's also going to bring some scary changes to your relationship. Don't be alarmed; consider this your heads up. We've got five way your relationship is definitely going to change after having a baby.

1. The concept of privacy is gone.

Once couples welcome a baby into the world, they throw privacy to the wayside. You might find that the chaos of taking care of a new baby makes you forget all about privacy. Maybe you never ever left the door open when using the bathroom, and now you're freely going while your partner is in the room changing the baby's diaper. I mean, your partner did just witness a baby coming out of your body so there's not much left for them to see.

2. Sleep. What is that?

You used to stay up all hours of the night having fun. As a couple, you were the life of the party. After having a baby, this is so not the case. Between changing diapers, feedings, baths and more, you're absolutely exhausted. You and your partner now have a designated bedtime and it's earlier than you ever imagined. You go to bed at 9PM, and then you find yourselves up again at midnight…and 2AM…and 5AM. The baby is crying constantly because it's hungry or needs to be changed, and it's definitely made sleep a foreign concept.

3. Sex? What is that?

After having a baby, you'll probably see a significant decline in your sex life. There's just not much time for sex because you're constantly caring for the baby. Besides, you probably won't feel very sexy anyways. Your clothes are full of spit-up and you look like you've just walked out of the aftermath of a tornado. Your new idea of dirty talk is discussing your baby's bowel movements. Sex is definitely the last thing on your mind.

4. You seriously hate your partner sometimes.

The stress of caring for a new baby is really going to take a toll on your mood, so don't be surprised if you lash out at your partner. You may find that you're annoyed by little things they do – things that never annoyed you before. You may end up in screaming matches over whose turn it is to do the laundry or comfort the baby when it's crying. There will be moments you could literally rip your partners head off.

5. …but you also appreciate them more than ever.

While you may hate your partners guts sometimes, you'll come to appreciate them in a way you never thought possible. You're caring for a newborn together. This is the most important thing either one of you has ever done. The stress of it all may drive you to the brink of insanity, but you're in this together. Having a baby makes you see your partner in a whole new light. They're your shoulder to lean on in the midst of newborn-baby-chaos.

Newborn Babies


Relationship Resolutions: 8 Small Acts To Improve Your Relationship in 2018

Our relationships are hard work. We all wish that we could have happy, healthy and long-lasting relationships. Whenever a new year rolls around, it gives us a reason to wipe the slate clean and try to build a better relationship. These are eight small relationship resolutions you can make to improve your relationship in 2018:

1. Spend Less Time On Your Phone

One of the relationship resolutions that everyone should follow is to spend less time on their phone. As technology has advanced, we have relied on it more throughout our days, to the point where we are on our phones 24/7. We need to start putting our phones down, stop looking at social media and quit surfing the web when we should focus on our partners instead.

2. Try Something New As A Couple

A great way to strengthen the bond with your partner is to try something new with them. Go on a vacation this year to somewhere you've never been. Start taking cooking classes together. Enroll in yoga classes, if you have time. Doing something new together will bring you and your partner closer.

3. Plan A Weekly (Or Bi-Weekly) Date Night

Plan a weekly date night with your partner to ensure that you're spending time together. If you can't do it weekly (we know you have work, kids, and other priorities), you can plan a date night every other week. It gives you and your partner a chance to get away and enjoy one another's company.

4. Make More Time For Sex

One of the more important relationship resolutions is to make more time for sex. Sexual intimacy is an important aspect of a happy relationship and people too often let things get in the way of their sex life. Don't let stress or your work schedule stop you from having a healthy sex life with your partner.

5. Do One Kind Thing Each Day

If you really want to improve your relationship this year one of the best things you can do is make a plan to do one kind thing for your partner each day. It doesn't have to be anything big. Maybe you can bring flowers home one night, or pick up their favorite snack when you're at the store. Just do something little every day to show that you care.

6. Throw Pettiness To The Wayside

Healthy relationships are mature and stable. So if you want to improve your relationship in 2018, you need to stop being petty. This means not starting unnecessary fights or always having to get the last word. Learn to pick your battles and not bicker with your partner over everything.

7. Show Some PDA

A great way to improve your relationship this year is to start showing some PDA. We don't mean stripping your partner's clothes off in public. We mean kissing, hugging, holding hands. Show your partner some public affection to let them know you're proud to be with them.

8. Say “I Love You” Everyday

This is the most important of all of our relationship resolutions. If you want to have a healthier, happier relationship this year, make sure to always say, “I love you.” Even if your partner already knows that you love them, it never hurts for them to hear it. So no matter how your day has gone, even if you have been fighting all day, tell your partner that you love them.

Relationship Resolutions


3 Steps to Help You Move Forward After Being Betrayed By Your Partner

So, you’ve been struck with a betrayal. You feel your whole life is spinning out of control. Your emotions and thoughts are running thin. You feel sad, angry, desperate and resentful of your partner. You keep asking yourself, “what did I do to deserve this?” Your mind tells you that you can’t come out of this betrayal hole, and your life has stopped moving.

What can you do to get out from this mess? Here are three steps to help you move forward after being betrayed by your partner:

1. Practice Forgiveness

You feel guilty, hurt and resentful that your partner has betrayed you. If you want to get over this and move on from this painful chapter of your life, it’s time to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself will make you get rid of all the anger, pain, and confusion. Your heart, soul, and body will become toxic unless you forgive yourself as well as considering forgiving your former partner. Don’t make yourself the victim and stop with the self-loathing. Practice forgiveness, as it is the ultimate pathway to healing. Also, remember not to punish your future partners for your ex’s transgressions. Be strong, kind, and confident to give them the trust they deserve.

2. Blame vs. Self-Worth

Instead of blaming yourself for your partner betraying you, appreciate your self-worth. Tell yourself that you’re enough as who you are. Acknowledge the fact that your boyfriend or girlfriend betraying or cheating on you has nothing to do with you. On the flip side, if you’re still angry and blaming your partner for betrayal, you need to deeply consider if you can let go of this unfortunate incident, rebuild your relationship, or if it is in your best interest to  leave the relationship and move on. If you have a hard time choosing the right course of action here, you first need to understand why people betray or cheat on their partners. Usually men and women who have low confidence and self-esteem cheat on or betray their mates. They also possess a high need for acceptance and approval. Therefore, if your spouse fits any of the descriptions above, you have to determine whether you want to heal this relationship or totally end it for you to recover.

3. Rebuild Trust

We understand that your partner’s betrayal made a dent in your trust. You find it hard to trust your partner, and other people, which is crucial if you want to move forward. Keep in mind that projecting your fears won’t do anything for the healing process. If you have decided to stay with your partner, the first thing you need to work on is rebuilding your trust. If you fail to forgive, then there is no point in wasting your time and energy by staying in the relationship and also making your partner pay for their past transgressions.


When you’re in a relationship, keep in mind that every relationship has its rough patches. After a betrayal, it’s very easy to get lost in the maze of anger, doubts, and uncertainty about the future. These three steps above will help you move on and ultimately build a more stable and happy relationship in the future.


4 Common Signs That Your Partner is Cheating On You

Let’s be honest: Cheating is never okay. When it comes to dating and relationships, cheating will always be a hot topic. Why? Because almost everyone at some point has been cheated on, thought of being cheated on, tempted to cheat or has been guilty of cheating. Cheating requires an action, and you and your partner have to be in an exclusive and monogamous relationship. Anything breaking or dishonoring that social contract is cheating. For example, sexual intimacy is a part of an exclusive relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is sleeping with you while they’re secretly pursuing another relationship at the same time, it’s cheating.

If you suspect that your partner is cheating, you might accuse them of it or get all paranoid about it. Before you jump the gun and make accusations, take the time to really see if your partner is cheating. Here are some common signs to look for:

Cheating Sign #1
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has made some drastic changes to his or her appearance, but he or she doesn’t care whether you notice it or ask questions. You see an alluring new hairstyle, an entirely overhauled wardrobe with sexy and stylish outfits, spending long hours in the gym or beauty salon, etc. It’s all on display for someone else’s viewing pleasure. Remember, if you compliment your partner for his or her new looks, and they deflect or downplay it, be careful. It might be that your partner is simply sprucing up his or her act, or it may be to impress someone else. It can go either way.

Cheating Sign #2
Your significant other gives vague or evasive answers to simple questions. If you notice that your partner is getting all defensive or sensitive when you ask him or her their whereabouts, or any other information, it’s safe to say that this person is hiding something from you. They’re also afraid that things will become bad if it gets exposed.

Cheating Sign #3
Your boyfriend or girlfriend has become secretive. You feel disconnected from certain aspects of your partner’s life. What’s worse is that you want to know about those certain aspects. And what happens next is pretty natural: you get suspicious. Secrets arouse suspicion.

Cheating Sign #4
You notice your partner is less interested in being physically intimate or having sex with you. This particular development should be analyzed with plenty of caution. Many factors might cause a drop in a person’s libido, such as anxiety, insomnia, stress, hormonal imbalances, health problems, and so on. It could also be that your boyfriend or girlfriend is losing interest in the relationship. It is this sign that you should keep your eyes peeled.

Infidelity is common when you’re in a committed, romantic relationship. So, if you’re dating someone and you feel suspicious that your boyfriend or girlfriend may be cheating, don’t waste any time, and have a direct conversation with him or her and expect direct answers about what’s really happening.


Preventing Emotional Infidelity in Relationships

Emotional infidelity happens when you or your significant other is emotionally attracted or connected with someone outside the realm of your relationship. But just how precarious can emotional infidelity be in a committed relationship or marriage? The truth is, emotional infidelity can be really alarming. It can take away time and energy from the marriage. If left unaddressed, it can lead to sexual infidelity, and ultimately destroy the marriage or the relationship.

Emotional infidelity is an outcome of preexisting problems within a marriage. This happens when couples aren’t emotionally and physically intimate with their partners in their current relationship, and each person is vulnerable to some infidelity. It can be either physical or emotional. So, instead of blaming the affair for all the problems in your relationship, why not take care of the primary issue in the first place?

People find emotional infidelity irresistible as it’s very easy to be intimate with a person with whom we have no shared responsibilities like money issues, children or chores. We feel comfortable to share our deepest feelings, thoughts, and fears with someone we have no personal conflicts with or shared interests. In other words, it’s an easy way of not dealing with the real issues at hand. If continued, this emotional infidelity will jeopardize your marriage, and eventually will lead to a divorce. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, the relationship won’t result in a marriage. You will end up with the same problems that you had before being in a committed relationship or getting married. So, why waste your time? Why not resolve the problems now?

The primary issue that leads to emotional infidelity is an emotional disconnect between partners. Emotional distance or disconnect occurs because there are deeper issues within the relationship. These problems might be:

1. One or both partners want to control the relationship through anger, blame, and criticism.

2. One or both partners want to control the relationship by care taking. This is done by one person taking care of their wants and needs and taking responsibility for the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

3. One or both partners want to control the relationship by withdrawing and resisting being controlled by the other person.

4. One or both partners don’t want to take any emotional responsibility for his/her feelings of happiness, joy, and pain. Both partners have abandoned themselves emotionally. They’re self-bashing, making the other partner responsible for their feelings, and ignoring their own emotions through addictions.

All the above problems grind down the love in your relationship making you disconnected from your significant other and lonely in the relationship. This is the perfect situation for emotional infidelity to manifest and thrive. These patterns, under general circumstances, don’t usually show up early in a relationship or when you’re in an emotional or physical affair.

These patterns also don’t disappear when you embark on a new relationship. These patterns will again return, when your new relationship is on the path to becoming a committed and exclusive relationship. If you’re thinking of dating someone, take responsibility of your own feelings, and your ability to love and care for someone genuinely. It’s only you that can prevent your wonderful relationship from being hijacked by emotional infidelity.


5 Ways To Walk Away After Your Partner Has An Affair

If you've found that your partner has been cheating on you, it's time to move on and find a real relationship. Whether the love affair is one-sided or mutual, being in a relationship with a cheater hardly works out in your favor in the end. It brings nothing except sadness and pain. Once you’ve determined that remaining in the relationship with someone who cheated on you is only going to give your more pain and make your life more complicated, that relationship needs to end.

Here are five steps that will help you walk away from your relationship after your partner has had an affair:

1. Find A Distraction

Fall in love with someone, of course, a single and available one. Get out of there and explore other possibilities. It’s hard ending a relationship with someone you’re still in love with, but it can be easy if you get involved in another relationship because it will work as a distraction.

2. Start Asking For Money

While in the relationship, if you’ve never actually asked for gifts or money, now is the time to start asking. When you ask, ask for more. Though he might conform to your requests, he’ll consequently get annoyed with your constant requests. This will create a rift in the relationship, which is what you want to happen. In the meantime, save all money for a rainy day when the relationship finally ends.

3. Spend More Time Together

This is another tactic to deploy if there is a possibility. Consider spending more time with your boyfriend. The more time you spend together, the better. Most people tend to show their best sides if someone spends brief periods of time with them. Therefore, spend a few days with him, and you might get surprised at how little you actually like him. Allow yourself to experience all those small things that annoy you, and don’t hesitate to argue with him about it.

4. Show Your Bad Side

Stop being the nice girl and show your bad side. Your partner has only seen your good side, and he too has only shown you his good side. Now the moment has arrived to let it all hang out. Cry, shout, yell, nag, complain, and expect more from him. Take all of this as an act, and do it as though this is a healthy relationship. You’ll be surprised to see how quickly Mr. Perfect loses his cool and shows his real personality. You’ll start wondering how come you ever fell in love with him in the first place.

5. Love Yourself

Regardless of if you’re looking for a date or already in a relationship, fall in love with yourself. This is crucial when it comes to dating and relationships. Ask yourself why you’re still in love the person who had the affair and betrayed your trust. Remind yourself  that you’re worthy of a real and loving relationship.


5 Awesome Reasons You Should Get Married

Most of us in long-term relationships hope that the relationship will result in marriage. There are pros and cons of getting married, but in this article we will focus only on the good things. The decision to get married is huge and there are plenty of legitimately good reasons to become man and wife. Here are five of those great reasons to tie the knot:

1. Marriage Has Financial Benefits

Couples who get married will accumulate more wealth by combining both households and reducing living costs. Getting married opens the gate for you and your partner to get access to family health, dental and other insurance benefits more easily. You both get access to retirement plans and social security. Marriage also makes it easier to inherit from each other. You get tax benefits from the IRS, charitable deductions, the ability to fund IRAs, etc.

2. Getting Married Makes You Happier and Healthier 

Overall, married folks are healthier physically and mentally and have greater self-esteem and confidence than single people. So, if you’re one of those men and women who wants to feel happier, live longer, healthy, and remain physically and mentally active for a long time, get married soon.

3. Marriage Is Beneficial For Kids

One of the primary reasons for tying the knot is the social stigma people face when they have kids outside of marriage. Kids born outside the realm of marriage are more likely to fall into poverty, fail academically, and suffer various behavioral and emotional problems. The main reason for these kids born outside of marriage failing is that they aren’t receiving the care and support provided by both parents. Outside of marriage, both parents aren’t legally responsible for the kids, but getting married gives both parents the legal obligation to take care of them.

4. Want To Have Better Sex? Get Married

This one is pretty tricky and depends on your preferences. But it’s widely accepted that people who are happier, healthier, and financially better off, have better sex than people who are single or than couples who cohabitate. Another good reason to tie the knot!

5. Marriage Reduces Divorce, While Cohabitation Increases It

There has been a lot of debate that says couples can equally be happy cohabiting? The thing is that people who cohabitate and then decide to wed later are more likely to get divorced at some point compared to couples who marry without living together.

Judging by all the pros, we can easily tell that marriage is the hands-down winner. When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s natural for both of you to think of getting married. Apart from getting married to feel happier, have a better sex life, live longer, and save money on insurance premiums, marriage brings you and your partner closer to each other and is more emotionally intimate. Marriage is also the best environment to raise children in if that’s the point of you getting married.


6 Things Guys Secretly Adore About the Women They Love

When it comes to relationships, there are some specific things men love about the woman they’re dating, but they may not tell her. Whenever a guy falls in love with a woman, there are many little things about her and her character that will make even the most insensitive man smile and make his heart flutter with joy.

Here are six things that men adore about the women they love:

1. A man loves the way he smiles when he thinks about you. No matter how stressed out he is at work, stuck in traffic, or just bored, when he thinks of her, he'll smile. A man considers himself lucky when he has a woman come into his life who can get him to smile. Simply hearing her name or thinking about her will light him up like a firework display. What's not to love about that?

2. He loves it when he can make you smile. Sense of humor is an excellent quality most women look for in a man. A guy loves to see the woman in his life smiling, laughing, happy and having a great time. And he will go the extra mile to make it happen. It's even better if he can make the lady of his life laugh by telling her dumb jokes.

3. He loves being physically close to you. A man loves being close to his woman, whether you two are cuddling on the couch or in bed watching TV, or simply standing next to each other. It’s a good way to feel physically and emotionally connected with someone. You can’t beat the feeling of your girlfriend resting her hand or head on your chest or shoulder – it’s incredible! Another tip- he likes you playing with his hair while watching TV or while he's driving. It’s a great feeling to him! And did I mention he loves when he catches you looking at him?

4. Men adore the way women smile after being kissed. We all know the euphoric and exciting rush we get when we kiss the person we love. The rush emotions and endorphins in our bodies takes us over. Can you explain the spark that you feel when you kiss him or her, and they smile at you? It’s incredible. I doubt there is any other better feeling.

5. He loves how things feel so natural with you. In a relationship, there is no question that every man and woman has to put in some effort to make a relationship work. But if two people can feel at ease and be entirely comfortable with each other, the relationship will feel natural. They won’t feel bored or stressed, rather they will feel content.

6. A man loves going to you for advice or suggestions. If you love someone, you'll naturally respect him or her, who they are and the way they think, and you will value their views and opinions. You'll want to get their suggestions or advice. You'll want to hear about how their point of view compares with your's. You’re interested to hear out their perspectives. If the man in your life asks for your opinion, take it as an excellent sign that he loves you.