Tag Archives: marriage

5 Awesome Reasons You Should Get Married

Most of us in long-term relationships hope that the relationship will result in marriage. There are pros and cons of getting married, but in this article we will focus only on the good things. The decision to get married is huge and there are plenty of legitimately good reasons to become man and wife. Here are five of those great reasons to tie the knot:

1. Marriage Has Financial Benefits

Couples who get married will accumulate more wealth by combining both households and reducing living costs. Getting married opens the gate for you and your partner to get access to family health, dental and other insurance benefits more easily. You both get access to retirement plans and social security. Marriage also makes it easier to inherit from each other. You get tax benefits from the IRS, charitable deductions, the ability to fund IRAs, etc.

2. Getting Married Makes You Happier and Healthier 

Overall, married folks are healthier physically and mentally and have greater self-esteem and confidence than single people. So, if you’re one of those men and women who wants to feel happier, live longer, healthy, and remain physically and mentally active for a long time, get married soon.

3. Marriage Is Beneficial For Kids

One of the primary reasons for tying the knot is the social stigma people face when they have kids outside of marriage. Kids born outside the realm of marriage are more likely to fall into poverty, fail academically, and suffer various behavioral and emotional problems. The main reason for these kids born outside of marriage failing is that they aren’t receiving the care and support provided by both parents. Outside of marriage, both parents aren’t legally responsible for the kids, but getting married gives both parents the legal obligation to take care of them.

4. Want To Have Better Sex? Get Married

This one is pretty tricky and depends on your preferences. But it’s widely accepted that people who are happier, healthier, and financially better off, have better sex than people who are single or than couples who cohabitate. Another good reason to tie the knot!

5. Marriage Reduces Divorce, While Cohabitation Increases It

There has been a lot of debate that says couples can equally be happy cohabiting? The thing is that people who cohabitate and then decide to wed later are more likely to get divorced at some point compared to couples who marry without living together.

Judging by all the pros, we can easily tell that marriage is the hands-down winner. When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s natural for both of you to think of getting married. Apart from getting married to feel happier, have a better sex life, live longer, and save money on insurance premiums, marriage brings you and your partner closer to each other and is more emotionally intimate. Marriage is also the best environment to raise children in if that’s the point of you getting married.

6 Things Guys Secretly Adore About the Women They Love

When it comes to relationships, there are some specific things men love about the woman they’re dating, but they may not tell her. Whenever a guy falls in love with a woman, there are many little things about her and her character that will make even the most insensitive man smile and make his heart flutter with joy.

Here are six things that men adore about the women they love:

1. A man loves the way he smiles when he thinks about you. No matter how stressed out he is at work, stuck in traffic, or just bored, when he thinks of her, he'll smile. A man considers himself lucky when he has a woman come into his life who can get him to smile. Simply hearing her name or thinking about her will light him up like a firework display. What's not to love about that?

2. He loves it when he can make you smile. Sense of humor is an excellent quality most women look for in a man. A guy loves to see the woman in his life smiling, laughing, happy and having a great time. And he will go the extra mile to make it happen. It's even better if he can make the lady of his life laugh by telling her dumb jokes.

3. He loves being physically close to you. A man loves being close to his woman, whether you two are cuddling on the couch or in bed watching TV, or simply standing next to each other. It’s a good way to feel physically and emotionally connected with someone. You can’t beat the feeling of your girlfriend resting her hand or head on your chest or shoulder – it’s incredible! Another tip- he likes you playing with his hair while watching TV or while he's driving. It’s a great feeling to him! And did I mention he loves when he catches you looking at him?

4. Men adore the way women smile after being kissed. We all know the euphoric and exciting rush we get when we kiss the person we love. The rush emotions and endorphins in our bodies takes us over. Can you explain the spark that you feel when you kiss him or her, and they smile at you? It’s incredible. I doubt there is any other better feeling.

5. He loves how things feel so natural with you. In a relationship, there is no question that every man and woman has to put in some effort to make a relationship work. But if two people can feel at ease and be entirely comfortable with each other, the relationship will feel natural. They won’t feel bored or stressed, rather they will feel content.

6. A man loves going to you for advice or suggestions. If you love someone, you'll naturally respect him or her, who they are and the way they think, and you will value their views and opinions. You'll want to get their suggestions or advice. You'll want to hear about how their point of view compares with your's. You’re interested to hear out their perspectives. If the man in your life asks for your opinion, take it as an excellent sign that he loves you.

3 Important Steps To Help You Reconnect With Your Partner

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse? Are you thinking of ways to make your relationship more romantic? Thinking of getting your girlfriend or wife a diamond necklace or a sexy dress? Sounds like a good idea, right? Not always. You see, expensive jewelry or that romantic dinner date isn’t the way to a woman’s heart. In fact, it’s the mundane and smallest of acts in relationships that are the most significant of all. You can’t have a loving relationship if you fail to connect emotionally with your partner.

Here are three steps to help you reconnect with your partner:

1. Accept Offers For Connection

Most couples often ignore each other’s emotional needs not because of resentment, but out of mindlessness. If you want to feel connected with your partner, the first initiative will be to recognize how important those small and rather meaningless moments of love are such as sitting together and watching TV silently, or kissing your partner while she’s making coffee, and so on. This is vital, not only for building trust in your relationship, but for intimacy and romance as well. The simple act of not taking everyday interactions, and yes, small acts, for granted can do miracles in a marriage or a romantic relationship. For instance, helping your significant other with chores around the house will do more good to your relationship than going on a week-long vacation in Paris.

2. Understand Each Other's Love Maps

Most often, couples assume that their partners listen and can read all of their feelings. The secret to understanding your spouse well isn’t derived from mind reading. Instead, it’s accomplished through hard work and sharing openly and honestly your emotions and thoughts. Do you know the moment your partner worries and stresses the most? How much can you tell about their hopes and aspirations? What are their life goals? The best way to understand each other is by asking them questions, and keep on asking them. Remember all the answers. Sharing your inner self and knowing your life partner better is a reward that will last a lifetime.

3. Cultivate A Sense Of Appreciation And Respect

One of the major components of a healthy, lasting relationship is a deep sense of appreciation and respect for each other. If you interrupt your wife in the middle of a conversation where she’s trying to prove a point, how can you build affection and respect in the relationship? We all have flaws in our personalities.

Learn to accept those flaws, rather than focusing on your partner’s inadequacies. If the moment is right, express what you cherish about him or her. The key is to learn how to reconnect with your spouse, and when you see your significant other doing something right and good, appreciate them. Tell them that you’re thankful that he or she has done all the dishes, and you genuinely appreciate it. Keep in mind that every time you do this, your partner will feel an emotional connection with you, which is vital to have a thriving and long-lasting marriage or a relationship.

5 Secret Relationship Tips Only The Happiest Couples Know

Is it possible for couples to achieve true happiness? When you’re disappointed with your relationship, it may seem like other couples are happy everywhere you go. Remaining in an unhappy relationship can make you cynical about relationships. Your cynicism about romantic relationships can grow like cancer, fueled by the lack of communication, avoidance, and resentment.

So, what do the happiest couples do that makes their relationship successful? Here are some secrets that the happiest couples know and abide by:

1. You Both Have Shared Goals For The Future

If you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, the two of you should share the same goals and visions for the future. Both of you should have the same desire to have kids, career aspirations, retirement plans, financial management, and so on and so forth. If there are any discrepancies in any of these categories, both partners discuss how they can compromise or reach a middle ground.

2. You’re Fully Aware That You Can’t Control or Change Your Spouse

This is one big mistake many people try, and they fail miserably every time. You might find this confusing initially, and you may ask yourself – why wouldn't it be reasonable for your partner to change if it would contribute to your happiness? The answer is that the other partner who is being blamed might think that he’s being blamed for his habits and behaviors, which is making you unhappy. Remember: blame the behavior for you being unhappy, not your partner. Putting a label on your spouse’s habit or behavior isn’t the best way to fulfill your wants and needs. It also deprives them of the opportunity to explain their behavior. This is nothing but fuel for marital conflict.

3. You Appreciate Your Partner If He Or She Is Doing Something Right

Happy couples appreciate and express gratitude for each other. If the other does something nice, they recognize that gesture from their partner. This helps build trust. Similar to happiness, trust in a relationship needs to be earned and maintained over time. Therefore, acknowledging and recognizing when your partner is doing something good will tremendously improve the trust in your relationship.

4. Keep In Mind, Judgment Kills Intimacy

When you’re in a committed relationship, judgment induces shame and doesn’t help any aspect of the relationship. Happy couples know this very well. Humans are naturally inclined to connection, and they desire intimacy, both physical and emotional. Judging your partner gives birth to shame, and shame erodes that connection. Judgments can come in any form, and only telling your partner, “Why did you fold the clothes that way?” can be quite painful. Judgment induces conflict, conflict causes shame, weakens the connection, and ultimately intimacy evaporates.

5. The Happiest Couples Are Excellent Communicators

Happy couples know how to “fight or argue”, and know how to communicate well. Most couples think arguing and fighting is counter-intuitive in a relationship. That’s why they stay away from conflict altogether, but this doesn’t always bring happiness. They just suffer in silence. Choosing avoidance is a temporary solution. Withholding conflicts don't resolve them, rather it aggregates them. Keep in mind, during a conflict, the love and respect for your significant other doesn't stop, but it’s imperative that you communicate with respect during a conflict.

5 Difficult Relationship Challenges and How To Fix Them

Marital and relationship challenges go hand-in-hand. They come in all shapes and sizes. If you're upset and feel disconnected in your relationship, you aren’t alone. Keep in mind that almost half of all marriages end up in a divorce. That will give you some perspective. Anyways, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll face a lot of challenges.

Here are some difficult relationship challenges and how you can fix them:

1. Unrealistic Expectations

This is a very common problem that all couples face. You see, people are always changing and so are their expectations. Pause for a moment, and ask yourself if you are the same person you were five years ago. You  will probably say “no.” If you can’t stop yourself from changing, how can you expect your partner to be the same person they were five or ten years ago? Embrace the change. It’s inevitable.

2. Feeling Bored Or Tired With Your Relationship

If we keep doing the same thing over and over again, we get bored or tired of it. The same thing can occur in a relationship or marriage. It starts feeling like the same thing after a while. It’s at this time or phase in the relationship when you and your partner need to take some drastic initiatives. If you would like to try or do something new, share it with your boyfriend or girlfriend. For example, you can plan a date night, go on a weekend getaway or buy a new dress, and so on and so forth. All these will surprise your partner and can lead to the right things.

3. Long Periods Of Stress

Nowadays we are dealing with more stress than our parents and grandparents. We are dealing with all sorts of stress like work-related stress, mental health issues, financial problems, sickness, child woes, etc. Our lives are rife with many challenges. When we are anxious and stressed out, it’s easy to take it out on our partners. This will create even more stress and problems, and the relationship can end. If you’re feeling stressed in the relationship, be supportive towards each other. Practice patience, improve your communication skills, and let your significant other know that you appreciate them for all the things they’ve done for the relationship.

4. Lack Of Care, Concern, And Attentiveness

A romantic relationship is a two-sided affair. You can’t have a healthy, long-lasting relationship if you feel the relationship has become one-sided. For example, some women gave up their prolific careers and spending time with friends so that they can take care of the kids and family. Meanwhile, the husband works late most of the time and leaves you with all the responsibilities of the children, which leaves no time for yourself and the relationship. You feel resentful. Talking about it with your partner doesn’t help much. You can improve the situation by doing your part or helping your partner in it.

5. Lack Of Physical Intimacy

This means that you aren’t feeling attracted to your partner like you used to feel or there are some issues with your libido. Lack of sex in a romantic relationship is quite common and can happen to even the best relationships. There are many reasons for this. You’re stressed out from work, depression, sleep deprivation; you’re taking some medications, and much more. You can improve your sex life by scheduling sex. You'll see noticeable changes in your libido and attraction over time.

Neglecting The Little Things is What Ruins Marriages

Let’s face it: all of us are stressed out. But don’t let the daily stress of your hectic life keep you away from showing your partner love and affection. During the early days of a romantic relationship, we feel enchanted by our spouse. We keep hoping and praying that they’ll become our best friend and life partner. Our focus on our partners is so much that we let our girlfriends or boyfriends know that they are the ongoing object of our unconditional love and affection. We look at them with love in our eyes, we send then loving texts, and utter words of love and appreciation like, “I love you.”

But whenever we find ourselves in a secure and committed relationship, we start to behave like ordinary people. We get engulfed by all the mundane things we need to do and focus more on our own issues and the stresses of daily life. This is normal, because we can’t live our whole lives in an elevated state of intense romance forever. Sometimes we return and recall our past romantic experiences together by going on a dinner date or a vacation. But as we become busy with our routines, we might unconsciously find that our partners need our love, attention, and affection. It’s the lack of these three vital elements that can destroy a marriage or a long-term relationship.

For example, if you’re busy on your phone and walking into the house after work, wave at your wife as you see her while walking through the room. You can feel that may not work for her, and she might also think that she’s an afterthought. This can create some tension in your relationship and your partner might feel you don’t have much affection for her anymore. So, make sure when you return home to let her know that you’re glad to see her. Do you have to do it every time? Not always. Sometimes you don’t have to get off your phone and tell her how happy and glad to have her in your life. Nonetheless, try to do it most of the time. Sometimes you might get defensive when your partner starts an argument with you. But, bear in mind that your spouse is trying to make a connection with you. So, rather than getting all defensive, pause for a moment, and think of how great it is that you have a partner who wants to connect with you when you come home. That thought is enough to bring good feelings between you.

So, pay some conscious attention to the little things throughout your relationship on a daily basis. All of those small gestures will add up to feelings of abundant love, fun, and support. So, touch your partner as you walk past her, hug her for no reason, or kiss her unexpectedly. Also, look with love into her eyes, or buy her favorite ice-cream or a gift for no reason – basically, do all the things that you’ve done when you both met and fell in love with each other for the first time.

5 Ways To Mend Your Sex-Starved Marriage

Are you having less sex with your partner than ever before? Do you think that you’re in a sexless marriage or relationship? Are you wondering how to bring the passion back into the relationship? Does it feel like forever since you’ve been physically intimate with your significant other? Before concluding that your relationship is sexless or sex-starved, let’s look at how often is normal.

Some of you might think hardly ever. Some say it’s maybe three times per week or more. Recent studies show that happily married couples normally have sex on average once per week. You might think that couples who make love more often are happier, but that’s not always the case. The reality is that having sex more frequently doesn’t necessarily translate into the greater well-being of the couple.

If you happen to be one of these unhappy couples who are having sex less than the usual, maybe these tips will be helpful:

1. Share household responsibilities and chores

Take it or leave it, your desire to have more sex with your wife will increase if you treat her as your partner. Women don’t like to be physically intimate with their partners if feelings of anger and resentment have seeped into the relationship. Normally this happens when the division of labor and responsibilities is unequal. This is especially noticeable when there are kids, and women tend to be more responsible for the house and kids. That’s not a sexy move.

2. Be relaxed and be present

This means planning a date night to be alone with your spouse without any distractions like smartphones or kids. Go for a walk or schedule a dinner date. Shut off your phones or leave them at your house. Remember to be romantic and recall how you felt dating your partner when you met her for the first time.

3. Do something unusual

There has been research conducted on the brain that showed that novelty or doing something unusual produces erotic interest and excitement. So bring back the red-hot excitement and eroticism in your marriage by having intercourse in a different room or position, or having sex while leaving the lights on, and so on.  Consider taking a vacation. Many couples admitted that they had some of the craziest and best sex in their hotel rooms. So, introduce something out of the ordinary into your sexual play.

4. Consider the differences in libido

Men and women have their own preferences when it comes to sex. If your spouse craves sex more than you, then have sex on your schedule. Then, set the mood. Take a warm shower or bath. Light up some scented candles, and play some sexy and soft music. Drink some wine if you want to relax. The desire for sex will arouse you, so let your partner make you feel aroused

5. Evaluate what’s right for you.

If you’re married or in a relationship for a while, it’s necessary for you to talk to your partner about your sexual desires and needs. Spend some time evaluating each other's opinions and only do what works best for the two of you. Make sure neither of you feels sex-starved.

Why You Should Make Sure You Are Getting Married For The Right Reasons

So far single people have at least three ways of thinking when it comes to relationships and marriages.

First, some folks are the happiest because when are single. They might date casually or engage in an open or casual relationship, but nothing too serious. They don’t want to be in a serious relationship even if they find the right person, not because they are incapable of committing or they fear commitment, but they simply have a strong preference to stay single.

Second, some individuals want to be in a committed relationship but will remain single until the “perfect” partner comes along. Some of these men and women will never find the right person to marry, but nonetheless, they feel happy to remain single, rather than being in a relationship with someone not right for them.

Third and finally, some people just want to be married. These people hope to get married to someone who is perfect for them, but eventually, most decide to settle for someone “decent” as they failed to find someone according to their preferences. These men and women are afraid of being alone and become upset and disappointed when they can’t find someone who’s right for them. For them, not being alone is far more crucial that finding the right man or woman.

All the above are valid attitudes, but here we are mostly concerned about people in the third group. These are the people who are desperate to be in a relationship or get married, and they disrupt the nature of close and romantic relationships. This disastrous urge to be married will backfire on them, sooner or later, and ultimately they realize that they are in an unhappy relationship and got married for the wrong reasons.

We aren’t suggesting that you shouldn’t get married unless you’ve found “the one”, because let’s face it, there isn’t one. The problem here is the attitude of these people and the way they behave towards their spouses.  These people put tremendous value on marriage, and consequently, they wed for the wrong reasons and take advantage of the other person as a way to avoid being alone. It’s hardly about the other person or being with him or her; it’s about being with that person so he or she doesn’t feel alone. Such kinds of arrangements might look great, pragmatic and even “very rational” to some people, but the reality is that these mismatched partners never seem to get along with each other in the long-term. Furthermore, their relationship lacks the complexity and emotional attachments of a marriage or a committed relationship.

So, does this imply that you should never settle down unless you meet the “perfect person”? And if that perfect man or woman never comes along, does this mean that you’d be happy to settle for someone for less? Of course not. The perfect person never exists, but you’ve got to look for the person who will be right for you in different ways. After all, a relationship or marriage can only be happy and long-lasting if you are compatible with the person you are married to or in a relationship with. So, finding the right partner for marriage is essential.

5 Secrets of the Happiest Couples

Most people will tell you that if you want to have a happy, lasting relationship, you should solidify your bond through love, trust, and communication. Besides, you should also make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page about your future life plans, goals, kids, and finances. But, the most important thing you can do to make your relationship happier is to make every single day of the week a time to celebrate each other.

Here are some things the happiest most and successful couples do every day, and not only on their anniversaries or Valentine’s Day:

1. Kissing and touching each other

When it comes to giving and receiving affection in a serious relationship, there’s something inherently gratifying about it. The act might or might not lead to sex, and both are okay. Just don’t make plans about it. Most couples make a terrible mistake by always expecting that they’ll have sex when they kiss and touch each other. Kissing and feeling each other physically is a part of eroticism in a committed relationship and it doesn’t always need to result in sex.

2. Make coming and going an event

When you leave for work in the morning, don’t just yell, “Honey, good bye,” and shut the door. Similarly, don’t shout, “Honey, I am home!” when you return. Instead, pause for a moment, stop what you are doing when your partner leaves or returns. Look at him or her, greet them, kiss them, hug them, and feel each other's bodies. This will promote and strengthen the feelings of affection and connection. Also, it will make both spouses feel loved and important.

3. Shut off all electronic gadgets

If you want to maintain the romance and happiness in your relationship or marriage, you need to be available and accessible to your significant other most of the time. With distractions, it is challenging to sit, talk, and enjoy each other. So, shut off all your smartphones, tablets and other electronics and spend at least an hour a week hanging out with your partner.  While spending time with your spouse, don't forget to laugh together at jokes your partner tells you. This might sound unusual, but laughing is the key to couple satisfaction.

4. Enjoy a physical activity together

Want to reach the peak happiness in your relationship? Then introduce each other to your favorite workouts, yoga or any other kind of physical activity that the two of you can do together. It’s a great way for a couple to have valuable insight into each other's lives as well as get fit in the process. After all, there is a saying that couples who sweat together, stay together. Well, it’s true!

5. Go to bed at the same time

Most couples have the tendency to stay up late watching TV or Netflix, or doing work, while the other person goes to sleep early. If you and your partner have the same schedules, you'll create closeness between the two of you. Touching and kissing good night to each other in bed is a very intimate gesture in a relationship. Try it at least once every week, in case it’s not possible to do every day.

Why Comfortable, Yet Passionless Relationships Are Difficult To Sustain

It’s common to see couples complaining that their relationship has become stale and passionless after a few years. They complain that the romance isn’t there like when they first met or when they got married. Couples who are in long-term relationships say that things aren’t the same between them. They also admitted that they don’t feel sexually attracted to each other like before and the gestures of showing love for each other have also changed.

Yes, the relationship will evolve, but that doesn’t mean that the union should be devoid of any passion and affection.  You can’t have a healthy and comfortable relationship if the two people in it refuse to grow and learn. So, to spice up a passionless marriage, it is crucial to identify the patterns of a comfortable relationship. From that point, you and your spouse can learn how to commit to each other in a much better way in the future.

Understanding Patterns of a Relationship

Relationship patterns are all about how we act and behave through our interactions, needs and wants.

Everyone has a different relationship pattern. These relationship patterns are exposed according to the kind of action or behavior our spouses show during various stages or phases of the relationship. Some of these are good, while there are some that can be quite destructive. When positive patterns emerge in the relationship, it can add enjoyment and depth to the relationship. These positive patterns will help the relationship to develop and thrive. On the other hand, negative patterns create unhappiness in the relationship. Good patterns are required to be displayed and communicated for the love and care for your partner, and to make him or her feel desirable to you.  In a comfortable relationship, the pattern isn’t entirely negative like an abusive relationship. But, it can become negative if you are spending a lot of time and energy on supporting and remaining committed to each other. If you see patterns like these emerging in your relationship, take initiatives in combat them so that your relationship gets a new lease on life and turns into a healthy and happy relationship again.

Spice Up Your Comfortable Relationship

A comfortable relationship can be a trap. A comfortable relationship creates a relationship that has no personal boundaries. For example, if you and your partner are in the same room minding your business with no interaction and activity to do things together as a couple, it’s safe to say that your relationship has become too comfortable. Be careful; it’s at this stage that the relationship becomes static.

You can spice up a marriage that is passionless, yet comfortable, by improving the connection and interaction.  The depth and quality of the connection is more important than the quantity of the interaction like binge-watching your favorite TV shows together. But creating such deep connections requires time and some effort.  Volunteering together or taking a cooking class as a couple will be helpful here. Also set aside time for deep communication. Partners should open up and have deep discussions about things that matter to the relationship and each other. Do both the small and big things for your spouse. Show appreciation, care, and affection to each other, and go on adventures, holidays, and tours together.