You’ve met someone you like, you’ve been dating for several months, and everything between the two of you has been moving along well. You both feel lucky to be well matched, you both like the same things, you both laugh at the same things, and enjoy romantic sparks. Both of your future looks promising, and then all of a sudden something else happens. Your future looks dim after you discovered that your partner had told you a lie. Now, what will you do? Should you talk about the relationship, salvage it, remain in the relationship or just leave it?
For some men and women, it doesn’t matter if a lie is a small one or a big one. A lie is a lie – period. Any lie can literally destroy a dating relationship or any relationship for that matter. Some people will take into account the severity and circumstances of lying in a relationship. They understand that sometimes even the best among us do stupid things, and are willing to forgive, forget it and move on.
Anyways, no two incidents are the same. Consider these logics if you find an incident of dishonesty in your relationship.
1. Is the person willing to admit his/her mistakes and come clean? Whenever people get caught for any lies, they try all they can to cover it up with another lie. As always one lie can lead to yet another, and the vicious circle continues. Remember, trust in a relationship can only be regained when your boyfriend or girlfriend admits their mistakes and takes responsibility for it.
2. Access the overall strength of your relationship. If you’ve built your relationship on loose soil from the beginning, then the dearth of honesty is only going to make it shakier. But, you can overcome this serious problem, only if the relationship is strong enough to withstand it.
3. Be objective while looking at the situation. Lying in any form is a bad and a poor choice. Still lies play a part when it comes to exaggerating achievements, one’s personal qualities, dating someone else at the same time while telling they aren’t, etc. Some lies “enhance” the truth, while some conceal it, or replaces with a false version of the reality. It’s up to you how you assess the impact of lies in your relationship.
4. Keep your boundaries clear and hold on to them. Be direct and straightforward about your expectations if you want to avoid any future problems that might arise in the relationship. If you see that partner isn’t 100% committed to regain your trust and to be entirely honest, then it’s time that you seriously think if this is the right relationship for you.
5. Trust your instincts. Allow yourself to feel and act in the way that makes you feel good about yourself. Remind yourself that dating isn’t a kind of an audition to check out whether the both of you can be in a committed relationship or not. If you’re dating someone and feeling doubtful and suspicious about your boyfriend or girlfriend for telling a lie or anything else, don’t refute, get angry or dismiss them. Carefully listen to your head and heart is telling you. In short, listen to your guts.