We keep hearing this all the time, ‘if you want to be in a great relationship, find someone who is opposite to you.' Does it work? How come we are attracted to someone with a different set of attitudes, behaviors, interests, and views?
It’s been found that most men and women are attracted to someone who is dramatically different than them. This applies in particular when it comes to social interactions like romantic relationships. The reason this takes place is that our lives are enriched by connecting with other people with abilities that we don’t possess. But, the harsh truth, though this might makes some sense, applying this lesson in our romantic interests will be detrimental on a grand scale.
Therefore, be cautious, when you’re attracted to someone who is different in various ways than you. Sure, opposites attract, but these different traits of both partners tend to drive each other insane as the relationship matures over time. We won’t deny that finding a girlfriend or boyfriend with similar interests or background is a daunting task, if not impossible, and it’s becoming even harder as diversity among people keeps on growing. However, when two people from similar backgrounds come together, they begin the relationship from the point of strength. Maintaining their relationship gets significantly easier as all or almost all of their customs, behaviors, and practices are related to each other.
Forging a relationship with someone who is opposite is so tough because the differences you have needs negotiation and adaptation to accommodate them in the relationship. Plenty of change is required for compromise and accommodation, all of these changes and adjustments can create a lot of stress. Sometimes, there might be much difference among both parties, and the relationship won’t be able to thrive or even survive all the strains associated with adapting and compromising to each other.
What types of differences cause the most problems? If you’re looking for a good relationship partner, then look for these four specific areas.
- 1. Energy Level: If he loves to relax on the couch and watch TV at most nights and she likes to go dancing at the bar three times a week – watch out.
- 2. Personal Habits – This includes timeliness, punctuality, personal hygiene, cleanliness, weight management, drinking, and smoking.
- 3. Use of Money – One partner like to responsible with his/her spending and like to save for the future, while the other partner is eager to spend and enjoy life now. Look out for this especially as the conflict derived from this can be disastrous to a relationship.
- 4. Verbal Skills, Cues, and Interests – If one person is excited for more conversation, while the other wants to be relaxed and be quiet. It’s a sign there is a lot of stress here.
If you’re dating someone who doesn’t have a lot of common with you, being flexible will help to ameliorate the negatives of a relationship between opposites. Flexibility allows people to consider and evaluate the differences, bring alternative solutions, and resolving them. Of course, it will only work if both partners are committed to compromise. Remember, healthy, stable and satisfying relationships and marriages only happen if two people who are very much alike.