In dating and relationships, many men and women have adopted techniques that not only disappointed to find love but also failed them. It has also left them feeling less confident and depleted.
Below are two typical dating approaches peoples should stop following at all costs if you want to have a loving and healthy relationship.
1. Choosing A Boyfriend/Girlfriend Into A Contest
Simply thinking about it will make anyone stressed out! Like it or not, these days most men and women think of dating as a contest, that they will either win or lose. Women, in particular, consider themselves as a failure even when they didn’t like the men! We aren’t surprised by these thoughts of women given the fact popular culture and the media persistently and still to this day portrays successful women to be self-assured, confident, perky, energetic, high self-esteem, beautiful, picture-perfect, and so on. When you fall for this story, think about it for a second time before you acknowledge it. Dating was never about who will win or lose. So, what are going to do? First, you need to make a drastic change in your mindset.
Dating is all about getting to know each other better, looking for a fit of shared values, interests, opinions, goals and lifestyle. A good dating experience should bring the best of each other and complement each other. So, the next time you get to meet someone new, think about what both of you guys have in common and how can both be a fit together. Is he or she right for you? Always maintain a positive attitude and things will change for the better.
2. Waiting for Prince Charming
On the one hand, we don’t like dating because we feel like we’re being judged. On the flipside, people judge us because we have unrealistic expectations of what we want to see with our boyfriends or girlfriends. Even though we aren’t big fans of arranged marriages, it’s been found that divorce rates amongst arranged marriages are far less than those romantic unions. How is this relevant you may ask? The thing is it has all to do with expectations.
To put this in context, let’s say Danielle is a successful lawyer, who leads a healthy and active lifestyle. She also maintains a strong social life with long-standing friends and travels regularly. But, she’s still single. She looks at her friends who are married and happily settled. Sometimes, Danielle thinks that some of her friends have partners who aren’t successful or educated like them, but after taking to them and paying close attention, she came to realize that her buddies are all really happy with their married lives and it never occurred to them that they’ve settled. Keep in mind that the most successful and long-lasting relationships are built on mutual understanding, attraction and trust that is bonded in friendship and shared values and interest. Flexibility is essential here.
The bottom line is while looking for someone to be in a relationship; it’s crucial that we let go of self-judgment and rather look for the best fit and compatibility while choosing partners. If you keep your expectations flexible and realistic, it’s imperative that your boyfriend or girlfriend also keep his or her expectations gentle and realistic.