Being committed to a relationship is hard, but it can be worth it. Unless you prefer to be alone or don’t want anyone to share your life with you. When it comes to committed relationships, there is the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of it. We get attracted to people to fulfill some need or desire within ourselves. Ultimately, we need to go beyond that and progress to the point of learning, sharing and compromising by keeping our personal identities intact.
The main problem is that many men and women looking for a relationship don’t know what’s their own identity is or what defines them as an individual. You might have been told how you were supposed to be, act, talk and taught what you weren’t allowed to be. If you like to see as a mature emotional human, you need to learn from the ages and various stages of personal development while learning, sharing and compromising from friends, mates and romantic partners in the process. But, you need to be in a relationship with it. You can’t do it alone.
Therefore, if you’re in a committed relationship or marriage, what are the things that you can learn from the difficulties you faced that are hurtful, upsetting, or destructive? If you did something wrong, what did you really expect? How were you hurt? How did you hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend? What are the needs that aren’t met? Why weren’t they met? Or why should they be fulfilled? How do you feel if you’re projecting your needs onto your partner?
You see, over time, relationships, especially long-term relationships, are the best tutors we have for ourselves. If we don’t resolve or heal our problems or wounds, they’ll resurface again and again with the man or the woman you’re having a relationship with. A person who has is strong internally and has high self-esteem and confidence will not feel defeated or exhausted if any fighting or arguments happen in a relationship. This person will not take it personally and will communicate it with his or her partner from love instead of anger. But, we all know that is easier said than done.
People get involved in relationships to feed a need. These wants or desires need to be nurtured just like a garden. Relationships are like gardens. They are nurtured and planned, and they must be fed, needed, and cared for. Just like an automatic sprinkler that sprinkles water on a lawn or garden when it needs water automatically, in a relationship whenever there is a need, it should be met automatically. If you need to be loved, appreciated, respected, desired, etc., ask yourself if there is the way that these desires can be met with an automatic sprinkler system.
So, who else in your life can meet that need? If you can fulfill those needs by setting up an automatic system like that, then it’s evident that you aren’t as needy in your primary relationship. And if you see your significant other that can help you with it, then you have the ability to ask yourself what you can do for her or him out of love, caring and nurturing.