Good communication is one of the important building blocks of a successful relationship. Healthy and effective communication can resolve absolutely everything in the relationship. If you assume that you have poor communication skills, ask yourself how your communication skills were in the last year? Did you sound frustrating and blaming? Did your partner tell you were open, caring and loving? Have you ever been in a situation where communication has been so challenging that you thought that, no matter how hard you tried, you won't get it right?
Fortunately, don’t get worried about it. Below are some easy tips that will help you to develop loving and healthy communication in a relationship.
1. Stop focusing on what is missing in your conversations
Before talking if you think about things like, “she doesn’t like me, or she takes me for granted” you will continue developing communication habits that will reinforce those same thoughts and feelings. If you don’t do anything about this, eventually it will build up resentment and misunderstanding between you and your partner.
2. Focus on want your ideal communication to be
Instead of thinking, “she doesn’t like me, or she takes me for granted” think, “I want her to compliment me once in a while and let me know she appreciates me more.” Later, make some adjustments to your compliments and express your desires to her in an encouraging non-judgmental manner. For instance, you can tell your partner that you like her the way she looks and it makes you love her more.
3. Don't expect your partner to be ready to talk to you all the time
People are different. Their wants and needs are different. If you want to have an important discussion with your partner pick a time that suits both of you best. Choosing a wrong time to have a discussion will fail for sure. Also, choose the time when your partner is most open for communication. Don’t strike up a conversation when they aren’t in the mood or is emotionally unavailable. Don’t forget to share your timing preferences with each other and always be respectful of them.
4. Restrain yourself when things get heated
When it comes to communication, sometimes we lose control of our emotions, and our tempers get in the way that can lead us to say something to our partners, which we immediately wish we could take back or regret. So, don't be harsh on yourself or your spouse when things don’t go as planned every time. It takes time and skills to nurture an open and non-judgmental communication process in a relationship.
5. When you have a communication breakdown, don’t solve it all alone
There is nothing unusual when sometimes communication in the relationship breaks down. In those circumstances, most couples will rush to their family and friends for advice, but that’s not a good idea. It’s better not to rely on them for suggestions regarding your relationship. You may ask why? Because they might be, or not, qualified for it or they can’t be fully neutral. It’s highly likely that they will take sides. So, we can safely tell that they won’t be able to help you to take the needed initiatives for a healthy communication in a relationship.