So far single people have at least three ways of thinking when it comes to relationships and marriages.
First, some folks are the happiest because when are single. They might date casually or engage in an open or casual relationship, but nothing too serious. They don’t want to be in a serious relationship even if they find the right person, not because they are incapable of committing or they fear commitment, but they simply have a strong preference to stay single.
Second, some individuals want to be in a committed relationship but will remain single until the “perfect” partner comes along. Some of these men and women will never find the right person to marry, but nonetheless, they feel happy to remain single, rather than being in a relationship with someone not right for them.
Third and finally, some people just want to be married. These people hope to get married to someone who is perfect for them, but eventually, most decide to settle for someone “decent” as they failed to find someone according to their preferences. These men and women are afraid of being alone and become upset and disappointed when they can’t find someone who’s right for them. For them, not being alone is far more crucial that finding the right man or woman.
All the above are valid attitudes, but here we are mostly concerned about people in the third group. These are the people who are desperate to be in a relationship or get married, and they disrupt the nature of close and romantic relationships. This disastrous urge to be married will backfire on them, sooner or later, and ultimately they realize that they are in an unhappy relationship and got married for the wrong reasons.
We aren’t suggesting that you shouldn’t get married unless you’ve found “the one”, because let’s face it, there isn’t one. The problem here is the attitude of these people and the way they behave towards their spouses. These people put tremendous value on marriage, and consequently, they wed for the wrong reasons and take advantage of the other person as a way to avoid being alone. It’s hardly about the other person or being with him or her; it’s about being with that person so he or she doesn’t feel alone. Such kinds of arrangements might look great, pragmatic and even “very rational” to some people, but the reality is that these mismatched partners never seem to get along with each other in the long-term. Furthermore, their relationship lacks the complexity and emotional attachments of a marriage or a committed relationship.
So, does this imply that you should never settle down unless you meet the “perfect person”? And if that perfect man or woman never comes along, does this mean that you’d be happy to settle for someone for less? Of course not. The perfect person never exists, but you’ve got to look for the person who will be right for you in different ways. After all, a relationship or marriage can only be happy and long-lasting if you are compatible with the person you are married to or in a relationship with. So, finding the right partner for marriage is essential.