It’s quite common to see that men who are in relationships often withhold their affection and feelings from their girlfriends. Women can date whomever they like. So, why would anyone date a man who is unwilling to share his emotions and feelings? In most circumstances, women are drawn to emotionally unavailable men because they had this kind man in their lives such as fathers, step-fathers, brothers, etc. They get attached to withholding or unavailable guys because they’re already familiar with these types of guys, and they already fortify what she believe and feels, which is remind herself that she’s isn’t worthy of affection or consistent love.
The bad logic behind this thinking is that some man uses it as a defense mechanism on how they should treat women. He feels powerful of having the upper hand in the relationship. They think that if they keep holding on to this thought, they’ll be less likely to get hurt in the relationship when he makes himself appear insecure.
The Needy Woman
This is the term most emotionally unavailable label women when she expects to express his feelings regarding how he feels about her. You might this it quite natural for a man to tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but it’s complicated than that. When his girlfriend asked for it, he said that his girlfriend was “needy” and “desperate,” and found her neediness unattractive, which made him to break up with her. How sad for that poor woman! Just from the woman’s action, we can safely tell that it might be some other man in her past, probably a fatherly figure, who have ruined her self-esteem. She also being said by the same people that her that she should never expect much from a relationship, and that she appreciate any tidbits of affection, care and love she can get. This is why that woman remained in that for such a long time without her boyfriend has seldom said to her, “I love you.”
Can A Withholding Man Change?
Let’s make one thing very clear, an adult man who has been withholding his affection and love for many years, won’t make himself emotionally vulnerable anytime soon. He’ll not change unless he has a big life crisis. Or, he takes some initiatives to work on his problems by reading, writing, asking for help from therapists. The thing is for some men and women lack empathy. It’s difficult for them to experience empathy for themselves, but it’s possible for them to access that empathy if they realized how they would feel if one of their loved ones has been affected the same way. Let’s talk about that poor woman who dated a man for many years, only to be dumped later. She wasn’t happy in the relationship as most of her needs and desire weren’t being met by her boyfriend, but she still hoped that he would change and one day he will feel how she feels. And we all know how most of these relationships turn out in the end.
If you like to date a guy you’re interested at, look for patterns early on in the relationship. Ask yourself whether he treats you well, fulfills your emotionally and sexual needs, gives you meaningful compliments, shares his feelings, and tells that he likes and loves you. Remember, if you want a healthy and successful relationship, both partners must feel needed.