For most us, we think nagging is an annoying behavior, but pretty genial and harmless. Some people went to extremes and claimed that nagging could be more disastrous to marriage than cheating. While we don’t think nagging can actually destroy a relationship or marriage like infidelity does, we all can agree that it can be really detrimental to relationships. Here, I have presented three important ways that relentless nagging can rock the foundations of a loving relationship.
To explain this, let’s talk about a scenario. During a long drive, a nagger becomes nervous. The nagged person or the driver is the one that has trigged his partner’s anxiety, because of his aggressive driving. So, the nagger constantly reminds him of the speed limit every five minutes, and she uses her hands and legs and her voice, persuading him to lower the speed. With each passing hour, the nagger’s hands, feet, and voice becomes more relentless to the point that the nagged one gets less attentive or in extreme cases, might explode in irritation. Both partners feel misunderstood, their mutual communication breaks down, and most likely they didn’t understand the other person. So, you see nagging steals empathic communication between spouses.
Probably a lot of people know this by now. When the last time you hugged, embraced or cuddled your partner after nagging or after being nagged? Typically, the nagged one tries his or her best, literally or figuratively, to be as far from the nagger. If you nagged your husband about something, while going to a restaurant, it’s highly likely that your partner already lost his excitement even before the waiter has taken your orders. If two people are trapped in a nagging circle for a certain period, he or she gets confused with your struggle with your identities and personalities. Persistent nagging will make you lose about who you really are and why you two love each other. Also, you both have to keep struggling with poor communicative habits. So, instead of changing your partner, think about changing your habit first.
#3 Trust and Respect
If you’re kind of person who nags your partner repeatedly, then you might feel neglected even after persistent requests to get noticed. If you’re nagged, you may assume that your spouse doesn’t trust you enough to be responsible and committed in some areas or most areas. If the nagging becomes fortified in the relationship, both of you may feel that neither of you has each other’s back. Trust and respect in your relationship diminishes, and the nagger and the nagged one get cornered in a communication pattern that’s fruitless. The only way the nagger and the nagged person will be getting out from this rut is if the nagger clearly states what he or she wants and why; and the nagged one clearly explains his or her intention, and when he or she will oblige to it. If both parties are willing to compromise just a little, then trust will start to nurture.
Overall, nagging won’t destroy your relationship like cheating does. But, if the nagging is persistent, then there is a risk that it can be deleterious to your marriage.